Cut It On The Bias

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! After a week of setup for this cameo and its single, six word line, Les flubs it in today’s strip? Who could have possibly seen this coming?

At least the narrative has inched along despite wasting 14 panels on reusing the most cliche gag about acting in history. Mr. Director himself, Martin Johns, confirms what we all suspected since we first saw that laughable park bench set being put together… this film has next to no budget. Unless he’s just being dramatic about the tire fire that Les has turned this scene into, in which case we’ve gone no where on this story arc in a week and a half.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

36 responses to “Cut It On The Bias

  1. William Thompson

    This film has a budget? And the accounting is so precise that the director knows exactly when he’s zeroed out the budget? And nobody planned for the inevitable problems? Oooookayyyy . . . . just as long as this means the production is shutting down. Except now Les will be able to claim that the film would have been a classic, if only Hollywood hadn’t screwed up.

    • Hitorque

      The director is making a joke… Just like the Starsux movie which had a final cost around $500+ million, Masone has a limitless budget

      • William Thompson

        Does Batiuk know he’s making a joke? It’s impossible to tell with him.

      • Epicus Doomus

        It’s a really dumb joke, too. “Friends don’t let friends do cameos” would be a better one, but I put 1.5 seconds of effort into that thus it’d instantly be rejected by BatYam for being too complex for his readership to handle.

        What’s weird about it that pretty much the entire arc was from Les’ point of view, but all of a sudden we’re just watching Les blow a gasket in the context of a “Hollywood movie” being made, complete with sarcastic punch line from grizzled Hollywood onlooker. It’s a strange tonal shift, just out of nowhere.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    So Mason wasted a bunch of money flying Les back and forth, he wasted more on going to NYC for “location scouting”, then he squandered even more on staging a phony “chemistry read” to pacify Les. On top of that they went to great lengths to make Mason and Marianne look just like Les and Lisa for no real reason. No wonder they can’t even afford a proper studio sign or a decent food truck.

    As predicted (sigh) Les is cocking everything up with his anxiety-driven ineptitude AND he’s tossing classic profanity-filled pissy fits over his inability to do anything right. It’s like every single Les character trait has been carefully engineered to generate as much disgust as possible. If BatYarn really does identify with this character the scenario is even more bizarre and disconcerting than previously assumed.

    Note how he creates a “comedic” premise involving Les, then has Les act like a complete psychopath once the “payoff” moment arrives. Like when Funky and Harry were making fun of him, there was no snappy comeback, no wry zinger, just Les storming off in a pissy-panted rage like a total dick. And today he does the same thing. No wry zingers, no wordplay-based banter, not even a silly facial expression, it’s just Les violently spazzing out like an imbecile. Again, who the f*ck identifies with that?

    • Gerard Plourde

      I’m completely mystified how TomBa can possibly think that Les’ behavior is anything but psychotic. The rage and frustration that he’s exhibiting is either worthy of a 72 hour mental health commitment as a risk of violence to Mason or an example of passive aggressive self sabotage that could indicate the possibility of self harm.

    • Charles

      Yeah, his screaming profanities is really absurd and over the top, and I can’t imagine that a real director would tolerate it.

      I also can’t understand how they did enough takes for Les to get utterly frustrated and yet no one suggested methods that might assist him or whether Les’s line was really all that important to keep in the first place. I mean, I can’t imagine shooting multiple takes to get one extraneous line given by a completely inessential character. It just doesn’t happen.

      • Epicus Doomus

        And he’s playing a waiter. They could just write the line down on one of those waiter pads and have him hold it, problem solved.

  3. Of course Les can’t act. Acting is one of the lesser arts, something so base that it requires a base soul to do it well. And since Les’ soul soars through the cosmos in search of universal truth, yeah, he’ll never be an Olivier.


  4. J.J. O'Malley

    Meanwhile, we all are officially over this sub-arc. Too bad there’s probably at least one more day to go.

  5. Hitorque

    I told y’all this shit was coming…

  6. Hitorque

    Hey Masone!! Maybe this is why when you give a rank amateur a speaking cameo, instead of telling him the day of filming you fuckin’ let him know in advance so he can, you know, actually practice?

  7. comicbookharriet

    ‘Over Budget?’ They’re shooting in a warehouse on a film lot…more money is spent of North Korean propaganda cartoons.

    • William Thompson

      In North Korea, if they do a bad job they get shot. Maybe it’s time we open negotiations with Pyongyang.

  8. Boots Gandalf

    How many times has Les checked in with Cayla during this farce?

    I count zero.

    Oh, Cayla, keep enjoying the bliss while you can. It’s all going to come to a rant-filled, whoa-is-me, fuck-this-planet end soon. Or, in about 6 months, the way this shit arc is progressing.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Les has been to Hollywood like four or five times without his current still-living wife, you know, whatshername. She has almost no part at all in his lifelong quest to decide if he should allow the book he wrote about his dead wife to be made into a movie or not. That’s a journey Les just has to tackle on his own, apparently. Very relatable too, as who among us hasn’t spent many a sleepless night toiling over that very dilemma?

      • Mela

        Why in the world would Cayla want to come along? The one time she did accompany Les, he complained on the entire flight out there. And once they got there, did Cayla get to do anything fun like Disneyland, a studio tour, or any of the typically touristy things people do when they visit southern California? No, she was subjected to Cindy boo hooing about getting old while standing next to her beach front home that she’s living in because she married a movie star half her age. Cayla’s probably enjoying some peace and quiet.

        • Hitorque

          Agreed… Few things piss me off as much as Cindye’s “faux self-pity because she low-key needs lesser people in her life to constantly reaffirm how awesome her life is” episodes…

          I mean FFS, her last conversation with Cayla she did nothing but talk about the time she went out with Les and how depressing it was to not get catcalled on the street by total strangers anymore…

  9. billytheskink

    Did wardrobe put Les in the exact same shirt and tie he wears when teaching high school or is Mason also getting “points on the backend” for requiring everyone to furnish their own wardrobe?

    • Charles

      At least Les is wearing his sleeves down and buttoned, and his tie isn’t his usual slob-ass. He really *is* acting!

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Why is he wearing a tie AND a cheap paper nametag? What restaurant is this, anyway? Did Les take Lisa to the world’s fanciest KFC?

      • William Thompson

        You’re surprised that the nametag is taped in place?

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          I’m trying to figure out what restaurant makes its waiters wear long-sleeve shirts with ties, and also fast food name tags. Maybe some pretentious fast casual chain, but that doesn’t match the decor. Are they supposed to be at Montoni’s? That’s obviously wrong, so why isn’t Les complaining about that?

  10. William Thompson

    With any luck this will end Mason’s career as well as his friendship with Less. But I do hope Mason gets revenge by leaking all this footage to YouTube.

  11. Paul Jones

    It’s not funny watching a vain lunkhead trip over his own feet. The word pathetic is made for describing Les.

    • William Thompson

      No, it’s funny. Les hates on everyone–students, friends, family, co-workers, strangers–who don’t measure up to his insane standards. Now he’s bungling one simple thing, and probably dragging the movie down to destruction. Is there a punchline worthy of his personal apocalypse?

  12. Banana Jr. 6000

    Don’t feel bad, Les. The dialog in this movie is so awkward and forced that it would confuse any actor. It’s really the writer’s fault.

  13. Banana Jr. 6000

    Let’s check in on the Calvin & Hobbes arc:

    What’s more entertaining? Les throwing a tantrum, or Calvin ad-libbing something about dietary fiber in mine?

    • Clem

      The “dislike” here is unintended. My clumsy fingers, and I couldn’t undo it.
      Thumbs up.

  14. Banana Jr. 6000

    This is another great example of what I call “anti-context.” Tom Batiuk’s writing is so bad that it tells a story contrary to the one he thinks he’s telling.

    The story wants us to believe that Les is simply having trouble reciting his line. But the way he fails is so forced and unnatural that it looks like he’s failing on purpose. “Your order will be… left out!” This is not what an actor forgetting a line says. This is what Patrick Star says when the Spongebob writers want to illustrate how abysmally stupid he is.

    There’s also Les’ history of passive-aggressively undermining this project every chance he gets. He torpedoed the movie the first time, and got paid for it. Now here he is, playing a role he doesn’t want in a movie he doesn’t want to exist, failing so abysmally that it’s putting the movie over budget. Gee, that’s not suspicious at all. But none of the Hollywood professionals in the story will ever make this connection, because they’re all so enraptured with Les. Who has been nothing but rude and incompetent in their presence.

  15. This whole arc would make a lot more sense if Les were the prime mover for these decisions.

    Yes, Mason would be the one who would produce the project, but it would be Les who said “You need to see the New York locations so it can be authentic” rather than have him be dragged reluctantly along. Likewise, Les would insist on being in on the casting, and after the “chemistry reads” (SMH), it would be Les who suggested “Say, how about Marianne Winters?” Instead, Les has this inexplicable hatred of her. Having Les be the one obsessed about details would make sense. Wouldn’t make him any more appealing, but baby steps.

    What we have instead is the entire universe trying to placate Les, since his opinion (and feelings) are the only things that matter to all of them. None of this is how the world actually works; this is a quarter-parsec away from reality.

    The only way this makes sense is if Les is a literal god, and the inhabitants of this world all worship him. When you look at it that way, everything suddenly makes sense.

  16. bigd1992

    I actually enjoyed watching Les screw up, it’s the funniest thing in a long time. Not as funny as a Twilight Zone/Vic Morrow helicopter incident with Les would be, but I’ll take what I can get.