Hey readers! As the Batiuk Retirement Watch continues, your friends here at SoSF are putting our heads together to figure out what happens to this blog after the 31st of December…look for updates soon. –TFH
A couple years ago, my older sister showed me something interesting that she’d found among our late mother’s personal belongings: a number of pocket size “junior diaries,” one for each year, spanning a number of years from the early days of her marriage to my father through my own childhood years. While we were a little curious about what these little books might contain, my sis and I both agreed that we just wouldn’t feel comfortable reading through them. Though I did ask my sis if I could keep the one from my birth year.
Nobody connected to St. Lisa seems to have any such qualms about perusing her most private writing. Summer’s already read through Lisa’s account of being raped and impregnated by Frankie (and was even prepared to blackmail him by reading it on YouTube). When Les was struggling to write the Lisa’s Story screenplay, Cayla helpfully fetched Lisa’s journal from the bookshelf. Though she’s been dead for fifteen years, no FW character has dispensed more wisdom, between her journal (presumably journals; that same book probably wouldn’t contain entries from high school through her cancer battle unless she wrote really, really small) and her hours upon hours of video messages.
It’s been a long time since I laughed out loud at Funky Winkerbean, but Les’ question in today’s strip cracked. Me. Up. It’s been ten whole years since Les and Cayla dropped off Summer and Keisha at Kent State. Even for someone doing “graduate work,” ten years is a stretch. Is she still on a basketball scholarship? I don’t recall even seeing her in a Kent State uniform. So has Les been paying her tuition? I doubt Summer is contributing anything, as the only job we’ve seen her doing is wrapping gifts at the mall two years ago (when the girls were “wrapping up [their] college careers,” according to Cayla).
For someone who’s always bragged about progressing his characters in “real time,” storyteller Tom Batiuk has always taken liberties with the timeline. In this, FW’s Jubilee Year, he’s finally given up trying, casting off any semblance of temporal continuity; most notably by aging his core characters by at least five years to have their fiftieth high school reunion coincide with the strip’s own fiftieth anniversary (pay no attention to Crazy Harry’s time travel arc from last spring which suggested the gang were still in high school in 1980).
You win, Tom Batiuk. This is the last time I’m going to bitch about your nonsensical time constructs, and the last post I’ll have to write for a while, as tomorrow, Banana Jr. 6000 starts a 2 week shift, and I just know he’s rarin’ to go!
Leave it to The Great Author to put a new spin on the ol’ “delicate genius writes late night indecipherable note to himself” trope. In this example, instead of having it happen to a funny or entertaining or tolerable character, he used the single most loathsome character in the history of fiction instead. Dick Facey and Cayla Tyler Moore…the wryest couple on the wryest street in the wryest town in the wryest state, already in a state of full wryness mere seconds after opening their eyes in the morning. I need a solid hour and a half before I can form full sentences in the morning but these f*cking weirdos are literally wry in their sleep, ready to start smirking as soon as they’re conscious.
And on that note, it’s time to step aside and turn the microphone over to spacemanspiff85 for the next go round!
Link To Today’s Strip
It’s only December 2nd but already we see that Olde Westview Towne is nearly completely buried under yet another crippling blizzard. No sooner do they clear the leaves and boom, nine feet of snow. But, unfortunately, it’s not nearly enough snow to keep Les buried indefinitely, as in today’s sad installment he’s geeking out mightily over Xmas wrapping paper, which he doesn’t even need as his “friends” already know they’re getting another copy of the Trilogy…unsigned, naturally. Turns out they’re worth more that way, interestingly enough.
Les’ attic…(shudder). Stacks and stacks of old comic books (which he’ll no doubt sell to Chester to help cover Summer’s eighth and ninth years of tuition) and lots of musty old cardboard boxes labeled “Lisa Tapes 1990-1992” and “Lisa’s Hair- DO NOT OPEN!!”. I assume the unsold copies of his book are in the garage, as they’re probably too heavy to hoist up into the attic and all. Perhaps someday he can hold the world’s most morose yard sale and make a few bucks from those “Lisa’s Legacy 2013” shirts and old bedpans he held onto for sentimental reasons.
Link To Today’s Strip
It’s your old pal Epicus, here to steer the Good Ship SoSF through this most joyous and happiest of all seasons. And you’d better enjoy it now, as the characters are talking about none other than Les f*cking Moore again, which is never a good omen. It’s like noticing that one of the presents under the tree is the exact shape, size and weight of the “Lisa’s Story Trilogy”…”we know you really like that stupid comic strip and it was 90% off!”.
Cayla AND Boy Lisa interacting in the same strip? Whaaaaaaat? He’s really treading on some bland territory here, one false wry remark could create a veritable cataclysm of boredom the likes of which we haven’t seen since last week. Of course one could wonder why Boy Lisa, Tech Wizard didn’t reach out to see if Les would be home before he graciously dropped by totally unannounced but hey, it’s the holidays. And by the end of the arc it’ll scarcely matter anyhow.
Les is still skittering around Ohio signing copies of his “Trilogy”, eh? Perhaps he has some sort of cult following there, with a small army of Les-heads who follow him from signing to signing dosing themselves with Prozac and selling veggie pizzas from their off-brand eastern European robin’s egg blue cars. “I’m buying TWO copies of the Trilogy! One as an investment, the other as a valuable Lisa resource to settle all those Lisa-related bar wagers!”.