The Blandening

Link To Today’s Strip

It’s your old pal Epicus, here to steer the Good Ship SoSF through this most joyous and happiest of all seasons. And you’d better enjoy it now, as the characters are talking about none other than Les f*cking Moore again, which is never a good omen. It’s like noticing that one of the presents under the tree is the exact shape, size and weight of the “Lisa’s Story Trilogy”…”we know you really like that stupid comic strip and it was 90% off!”.

Cayla AND Boy Lisa interacting in the same strip? Whaaaaaaat? He’s really treading on some bland territory here, one false wry remark could create a veritable cataclysm of boredom the likes of which we haven’t seen since last week. Of course one could wonder why Boy Lisa, Tech Wizard didn’t reach out to see if Les would be home before he graciously dropped by totally unannounced but hey, it’s the holidays. And by the end of the arc it’ll scarcely matter anyhow.

Les is still skittering around Ohio signing copies of his “Trilogy”, eh? Perhaps he has some sort of cult following there, with a small army of Les-heads who follow him from signing to signing dosing themselves with Prozac and selling veggie pizzas from their off-brand eastern European robin’s egg blue cars. “I’m buying TWO copies of the Trilogy! One as an investment, the other as a valuable Lisa resource to settle all those Lisa-related bar wagers!”.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “The Blandening

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Maybe there’s a market among Les-heads for bootleg audience recordings of his various “talks”. “I know, I know, his published material might not be your cup of tea, but check out Les riffing on his relationship with Lisa on this cassette I have. It’s Les, at the Lake Wahoo Barnes & Noble back in ’10. Soundboard quality!”.

    Seriously though, this book launch tour is longer than the last one was and that debacle carried on for months. How many people can possibly be buying this thing? They aren’t even real books for crying out loud.

  2. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Original version:

    “Duuuuhhhhren! What a… surprise!”

    (A butt naked Princ’pal Nate scoots up the stairs.)

    “Uh, I guess Les isn’t home.”

    “You figured that out all by yourself?”

    “Yeah, I’ll just be…”

    “Leaving! What a great idea. Duuuhhhren, do you even know HOW to use a phone?”

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Just to clarify, in case there was any confusion, butt naked Princ’pal Nate was scooting up the stairs with a can of Crisco.

      Thank you.

  3. Jimmy

    How long do you think it is until Darin starts calling Les “Dad”? What’s he doing in Ohio anyway? Doesn’t he have a job in Evil Hollywood? And if Les and Mopey Pete are his two favorite authors, God help us all (I’m not sure comic book writer is the same this as author anyway).

  4. This arc leaves us dealing with a problem: “Which of these two insufferable jerks do we punch in the face first?” Is it the gloomy jerk living in the past and making a life and living exploiting his dead wife’s misery and how that makes him the greatest victim in history OR the drooling wacko who disowned his adoptive parents for someone who was only in the room when he was born?

  5. Chyron HR

    “We’re back for the holidays, so I came to see my REAL family.”

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      “So Cayla, I just thought I’d pop in unexpectedly so I could…”


      “Sorry, Cayla, that’s my cellular smartphone… Hmmm, a call from some ‘FAIRGOOD A’ again! They keep calling. Must be a solicitor. Hey, how about some hot chocolate?”

  6. Charles

    I really wish Batiuk had something more for Cayla to do than simply waiting on Les’s guests. She’s helping the able-bodied adult man take his coat off, and I just know that tomorrow she’s going to bust out the mug of whatever for him. The only question is whether she participates in talking about Les or whether she goes away because her servant role is finished at that point.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Yeah, I raised an eyebrow at Crayola helping Dipwad with his coat. I can’t remember the last time someone helped me take my coat off. So what’s up with that? Is she going to bring him a pair of slippers, and put them on his feet for him?

      It’s a given that we’ll see her come in with a tray of drinks and snacks once the men (and I use that term loosely) are seated, no doubt discussing manly topics like comic books.

      “Thank you, Cayla. That will be all.”

      “Yes, Master Les.” (Curtsies, exits)

  7. bobanero

    The countdown to fifty continues..

    Since it’s actually holiday time in the Funkyverse this week, one would think it would be a golden opportunity to catch up with some of our forgotten characters. Certainly Summer and Keisha are home from school for a couple of weeks, and Cory/Rocky are settled into their new apartment, still living off the proceeds of the comic book sale, I guess. And just upstairs from Funky, we have Wally/Rachel/Buddy/forgotten child who are certainly up to something interesting. But no, I think we’ll just get a week of more Les-kissing, with maybe an appearance by Jessica/Skyler if we’re lucky.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      I hope if Summer, Karneesha, Corky, Rocko, Wally, or whoever make an appearance, Batty has them wear name tags. Not so WE can recognize them. So the other characters can recognize them.

  8. billytheskink

    Ha ha! Like anyone would willingly talk to Pete.

  9. comicbookharriet

    Crankshaft has had some old guy whose name I can’t recall reading a letter for THREE DAYS. THE SAME LETTER. It’s worse than Darin…because there’s neither a ticking clock of cancer death, or characters we’ve followed for any length of time. And the dad: I HAD NO IDEA? Why is it a stunning revelation that your son both wanted a bicycle and knew you couldn’t afford it?

    • billytheskink

      The old guy in the recent Crankshaft strips is Ralph Meckler, former owner of the Valentine Theater and probably Crankshaft’s only friend. His son Timmy (seen in the larger photo), who wrote that letter to Santa, was killed in the Vietnam War. His late wife Helen (seen in the smaller photo) had Alzheimer’s and was the subject of an Alzheimer’s story arc before Lucy McKenzie was more notably struck with the disease.

      I don’t think either Timmy or Helen have been mentioned in close to a decade, so yes, this is probably a really puzzling story arc for all but the 6-7 beady-eyed nitpickers out there who know what Crankshaft is.

      • comicbookharriet

        Thanks Billy! I appreciate your vast encyclopedic Funkyverse knowledge. I vaguely remember him being the Valentine owner now, and I knew he was a Cranky coffee buddy.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Right. Batty could have had him read the letter today, but then he couldn’t milk 2 days out of it. Amazing the syndicate doesn’t dock his pay.

  10. Professor Fate

    “and if the old guy in the wheelchair calls tell him I’m not here.”
    “Oh the man that raised you.”

  11. hitorque

    At least Cayla is the first character to officially hint that they know about Darrin+Pete’s not-so-secret relationship…