Tag Archives: Lisa’s Story Trilogy

Graphic Drivel

I know what you’re thinking, “How can today’s strip be any worse than this past week?”

Well, newsflash!

raph-itsworse

Les. The most dreaded name in the newspaper. The name that even alone evokes the most dire of thoughts. “Les” is the sound that a rattlesnake makes before it dies in a brush fire. It’s the Florida State Police code word for a sinkhole. It was the name of Francisco Franco’s pet canary. It is far and away the worst part of the title of Les Miserables.

I don’t know what possessed this poor poor child to wander near Les’ table, but I do know that if he winds up reading Lisa’s Story he is not going put it down disappointed that only one person dies. No, he’s just going to think that the wrong person dies. And he would, of course, be right.

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Whistling Dicksie

Link to Today’s Comic.

Well Darin and Jess are already drunk, and are hanging all over each other like two kids necking at the back of the old Valentine Theatre. Jess has lost a finger. In fact all the hands are extra hideous today. And Cayla is missing a neck. What a treat!

Les has absolutely no grounds to be ashamed of a friend making a scene, but it’s nice to see him miserable anyway.

Something I had never really noticed until I was examining the last panel is how the Funkyverse house art style generally doesn’t include lip tint. Normally it doesn’t stand out. But Jess today, with fully detailed lips, really should have them colored nice and pink or red, as would befit a lady at an awards show. instead she has a terrifying flesh colored pucker on her face, like she has an asshole for a mouth.

Cayla has an asshole for a mouth too. But his name is Les.

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And The Signing Said Annoying Bearded Geeky People Need Not Apply

Link To Today’s Strip

Oh, OK, I get it now. This gag is obviously aimed at Batiuk’s fellow “authors”, or at least those who’ve participated in book signings. See, if you’re doing a book signing and it’s a busy and successful book signing, you won’t have the time to fool around with your technology device and check your email, as you’re way too busy signing books. At the book signing. Hilarious. “Les always says”…uh yeah Cayla, Les says a lot of things but Confucius he ain’t.

And just think, if you’ve written a Trilogy that’s THREE books, hence thrice the signings. Book signings, just to be clear. I know I say this a lot but goddamn, that is some of the clunkiest and downright piss-poor dialog ever written, by anyone, ever. He just has a knack for putting together sentences that simply couldn’t exist anywhere else. The artwork kind of blows too, especially Cayla in that last panel, as I’m pretty sure she still had teeth the last time we saw her. Although a toothless woman delivering a toothless punch line is pretty apt.

Speaking of crappy writing, I hate how everyone always endlessly repeats the full official title of everything every single time they mention it.

“Les isn’t here, he’s at a Lisa’s Trilogy book signing.”
“How are the Lisa’s Trilogy book signings going?”
“The Lisa’s Trilogy book signings are going well. Like Les always says, it’s a great Lisa’s Trilogy book signing if a SoSF guest host loses it and goes completely off the rails over typing the words “signing” and “Lisa’s Trilogy” over and over again!”

Maybe that’s why he does it, or maybe he just assumes his readers are total imbeciles, or maybe he’s just extremely lazy. I figure it’s all of the above plus a bunch of other stuff I don’t know (and don’t want to know) about. It’s one of his most annoying traits and whether he grasps it or not it makes his characters seem like total idiots.

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The Blandening

Link To Today’s Strip

It’s your old pal Epicus, here to steer the Good Ship SoSF through this most joyous and happiest of all seasons. And you’d better enjoy it now, as the characters are talking about none other than Les f*cking Moore again, which is never a good omen. It’s like noticing that one of the presents under the tree is the exact shape, size and weight of the “Lisa’s Story Trilogy”…”we know you really like that stupid comic strip and it was 90% off!”.

Cayla AND Boy Lisa interacting in the same strip? Whaaaaaaat? He’s really treading on some bland territory here, one false wry remark could create a veritable cataclysm of boredom the likes of which we haven’t seen since last week. Of course one could wonder why Boy Lisa, Tech Wizard didn’t reach out to see if Les would be home before he graciously dropped by totally unannounced but hey, it’s the holidays. And by the end of the arc it’ll scarcely matter anyhow.

Les is still skittering around Ohio signing copies of his “Trilogy”, eh? Perhaps he has some sort of cult following there, with a small army of Les-heads who follow him from signing to signing dosing themselves with Prozac and selling veggie pizzas from their off-brand eastern European robin’s egg blue cars. “I’m buying TWO copies of the Trilogy! One as an investment, the other as a valuable Lisa resource to settle all those Lisa-related bar wagers!”.

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