Tag Archives: football

What Kind of Hall of Fame Is it Again?

Maybe it’s just me, but “Sports Hall of Fame Induction” is starting to get right up there with “John Darling, who was murdered”.  I mean, is Batiuk afraid his readers won’t know what kind of hall of fame Bull’s being inducted into?  He’s Bull.  Don’t worry Batiuk, nobody’s going to be confused and think he’s joining the English Teachers Hall of Fame or the Cartoonist Hall of Fame.

And I’m really kind of shocked Batiuk didn’t force in some introduction/induction “worldplay”. Heck, go all out and have Dinkle pop in tomorrow saying he heard Bull needs some conduction. Oh, and you know why none of Bull’s teammates have dropped by to see him? Because sportos are greedy, selfish amoral morons who don’t care at all for their fellow humans.  Actually, this being Westview they’re probably all dead. Or they just hate Bull, because he was actually a jackass for most of this strip.

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Lame Joke Round Two

It’s kind of weird that Buck apparently just came running when Linda called, without having any clue why she needed him. Linda apparently reaching over to grab his ass in the second panel really doesn’t help.
And apparently the incredibly, incredibly lame indict/induct wordplay really was the joke yesterday. And apparently Batiuk found it so hilarious he’s recycling it for the second day in a row. I can’t imagine any realistic situation where someone would hear the word “induct”, ESPECIALLY in the context of a hall of fame, and think it means “indict”. Which is par for the course for Batiuk’s writing.
So are the Linda’s horrible hate eyes in the last panel. Which apparently gets Buck going, which is another level of disturbing.

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Thirtieth Ballot Hall of Famer

I really don’t know what’s even supposed to be funny here. Which makes it just like 99% of the rest of Funky Winkerbean for the last five years or so. Bull has nothing to do with what? Nominating himself? If he knows that was other guys on the team, why didn’t he say anything about being nominated, since he apparently already knew? Also, I don’t think random teammates are enough to nominate something to a hall of fame.
The funniest part of this strip is the fact that the poster so obviously says “Go Scapegoat” rather than Scapegoats which is just sad.

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Hall of Lame

The idea of a “Westview Sports Hall of Fame” is one of the funniest things in this strip in a long time. The gag for basically this entire strip is that Westview High is absolutely terrible at sports, so why is there even a hall of fame? Who else would even be in the hall of fame?  It’s got to just be Summer.  Maybe Keesha.  How could they not have inducted Bull when he retired and they literally renamed the field after him? This would make a whole lot more sense if the “Westview Sports Hall of Fame” was just something Montoni’s does, and it’s referring to the hall leading to the bathrooms where Funky displays photos of his classmates or something.

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If He Keeps Complaining The Levy’s Going To Break

Link To Today’s Strip

“Har har har! Remember your old school’s slipshod approach to player safety and medical care? Yuk yuk yuk!”. If their high school was such a poorly-funded nightmare why do they all remember it so fondly? One minute Batom is “thoughtfully” tackling the football head injury epidemic, the next he’s chuckling over the macabre image of an injured child being lugged off the field in a wheelbarrow. What a sicko.

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Then There Was The Time He Did That Shitty Football Gag

Link To Today’s

“Then there was the time” = “I have given up all pretense of being a writer”. Again, he COULD be doing these jokes as straight-up Bull football gags but because he ruined the Bull character he can’t and thus must rely on awful, awful contrivances and really cheap dialog to bring his witticisms to fruition, let’s say. Buck is still pounding away on his hapless pal, doing everything he can to ensure that Bull’s last football memories will be depressing ones. Maybe it’s just the artist but there’s a certain mean-spiritedness to this Buck asshole, he’s like Dinkle without the cutesy sardonic irony thing he does. And I certainly don’t recall anyone demanding that.

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Fourplay/Long Time (Ago)

Link To Today’s Strip

And when the QB called for a play requiring an empty backfield, the players all ran toward the unused “back field” behind the cafeteria. Did you ever notice how “quarterback” and “cornerback” sound sort of similar? That sure is confusing. And did you ever notice those commercials they play during the Super Bowl? They sure are something. Why, sometimes they’re even more entertaining than the game!

It’d be so refreshing if Bull just punched Buck in the mouth and told him to get the f*ck out of his house. Unfortunately, though, it’s a 100% certainty that he’ll continue to meekly sit there and take it as Buck craps all over his rapidly-fading high school memories because Westviewians don’t get mad, they get wry. In fact, that inbred wryness probably explains why the Scapegoats were always so shitty. Well, that and Bull’s awful coaching.

Here’s where I’m obliged to point out that these “remember when?” retconned memories wouldn’t be necessary if BatWrite hadn’t ruined the Bull character for no discernible reason. Just like with Dinkle and his band gags, Bull could have done football jokes into infinity if only Batom had refrained from giving him a degenerative brain disorder, a disorder that apparently hasn’t even visibly manifested itself yet. Just like with Dinkle’s hearing loss (and Morty’s dementia and Lisa’s death), Bull doesn’t seem any different or worse for wear yet, leaving the reader to wonder why BatBore even bothered with that dopey half-assed CTE arc in the first place. Instead of just doing six football gags, he has to do six gags about old football gags he used to do, which explains why 99.999% of the population has no idea what “Funky Winkerbean” even means.

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