“The two grandpas,” that’s a good one. Now that Cory and Rocky have tied the knot, Funky at least has a shot at seeing grandchildren. But I just can’t see Summer becoming a mom (unless she and Keisha decide to adopt), and besides, she’s in her what, tenth year at Kent State? At least the boys don’t refer to Les and Funky as the “old-o’s.”
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Son of Stuck Funky · The web's premiere source for Funky Winkerbean snark
Son of Stuck Funky 
“A magic card?” Have these kids made their own time jump from the era of “Magic: The Gathering?” Or has Todd Batiuk reinvented “an ace up the sleeve?” I will not be up all night wondering about this.
Regardless of the era, I doubt that kids who play touch football go home and play Magic the Gathering. But I could be perpetuating stereotypes…
I dunno, my ex-boyfriend is a big NFL fan and a weirdly serious volleyball player who’s also majorly into RPGs and comics. Nerdy interests don’t really carry the stigma nowadays that they used to 20ish years ago.
That Batiuk villifiess athletic kids AND the “wrong” types of nerds is sadly unsurprising.
Showing my age (a few years younger than Batty), I went to the old “TV Magic Cards™” that were advertised on the old “Bozo” show. Never really understood what they were supposed to do; the ads implied you could fleece your schoolmates out of their lunch money with the things. Which would make sense in the context of anything involving Flunky and Less…
“Hey, wait a minute! Isn’t the guy with the glasses our school’s English teacher, the one who claims he won an Oscar and keeps droning on about his books starring his dead wife? And the doughy one’s the owner of that bad pizza parlor downtown, the one with the old-fashioned jukebox that never has any good songs in it! It’s gonna take at least four Dominaria United cards if you want to stick me with these two losers!”
Oh yeah, I can absolutely see Cory knocking Rocky up, for sure. If he ever does another “she’s having a BABY!” arc, that’ll definitely be it. But Summer? That seems highly doubtful, at best. Plus, based on her last couple of guest appearances, Summer isn’t even gritty anymore. And without that grit, she’s not working with much.
I dunno, but this whole premise is really, really weak if you ask me. Funky and Les agree to play pick-up football in the park with a bunch of unruly teens? It seems kind of, oh I don’t know, wildly out of character, let’s say. And if you’re going to develop characters over the course of half a century, then have those characters suddenly begin to do outlandish things, where does it end? I mean, why not have Funky and Les do battle with Dr. Atmos? What’s the difference anyhow?
It would be an opportunity for Batiuk to dust off the “Montoni’s delivers” gag yet again.
Fred Fairgood assisted with the delivery of Darin when he opened the door.
“Let Fred Fairgood open the door to your heart…”
No, Pete, you were right: “my love” works better.
No, I think it’s going to be Pete and Mindy. Batiuk needs to show off what a “Great Guy” Pete is. As he’s blowing off her pregnancy to go to Comic-Con, taking credit for her work, and never upgrading her “engagement tiger” to a ring.
Say, if there’s such a thing as an engagement tiger, is there also a wedding tiger?
Is it helpful when you’re attacked with fresh fruit?
That idea (Funky and Les battle Dr. Atmos) could be done as a dream sequence! It would be fascinating to see how Batiuk would find a way to make it dull and uninteresting.
Those damn Kids These Days (TM) playing football AND Magic The Gathering! 🤬🤬🤬🤬
Seriously, what is this? I’m in my 40s and I was never an athletic person, but the ageism/cultural elitism displayed here is just so gross to me.
Even when we have a strip about young boys playing football, we have to add some geek crap into the mix. Because otherwise the youngsters just couldn’t relate. (Sadly, that might be true, though I hope not.)
Quick arboreal tip for Ayers: Not all trees turn orange in fall. In fact, few of them do. Add some yellow and brown to make it vaguely realistic, can’t ya?
I think the colouring is outsourced to China or something. Rob Ro does colouring on the comics cover strips, but I don’t think he does it regularly.
Those trees aren’t turning orange for fall; they’re on fire. Less and Flunky were at the driving range, Less missed the ball and hit a rock…
You know the rest.
Football fields are for b̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶p̶r̶a̶c̶t̶i̶c̶e̶ bad comic strips.
The kid in the green hoodie, standing there between #75 and David Cassidy, looks absolutely terrified at the sight of Les and Funky. Smart kid.
Why is it hard for these teens to say “no” to these two? What possible reason could they have to feel obligated to include them?
And what’s with Les and Funky side-eying each other? Is it about being called “grandpas” or just the general disinterest the teens have in bringing them into the game? As people who have recently attended a 50th high school reunion, it should not come as a surprise that the youth might assume they have grandchildren or that they are not physically equipped to play pick up football competently.
At least 75% of the strips wouldn’t exist if the humans depicted in them acted like actual humans and simply said “no” to things that real humans would refuse to do.
No, I will not take the gun that killed my father.
No, I will not perform a halftime routine in the rain in my 60s.
No, I will not limp up a flight of stairs so that I can pose in a picture with a statue of a comic book character that I care nothing about.
No, I will not wear a football helmet left behind by someone who wore a football helmet as he committed suicide.
No, I won’t let you interrupt my seminar about retirement saving and spending, over and over again.
No, I won’t let you annoy me with your childishly dumb and smarmy questions as I’m just trying to do my job.
No.
Speaking of football, I have a message for @sorialpromise concerning the MNF game.
Chiefs win! Woo-hoo! HOW ‘BOUT THOSE… CHIEEEEFS?!
Sorry folks, I promise to post a Funky Winkerbean related comment soon.
I’ll allow it this time as it is a football-related arc, but no sports gloating unless you’re a Kent State graduate, please.
Crap! Damn! Eve!!!
You got us sent to the principal’s office.
“What if this goes on our academic transcripts? We’ll be ruined!”
Oh, pipe down, Beaker. Epicus gave me a gentle reminder.
I’m sure you can still treat everyone to BBQ at CBH Farm. 😉
OK, Susie Derkins.
I am all in the BBQ. I still have half my wit in reserve if you have the wet bar.
Unfortunately, we have not heard from the most important member of our Troika.
Hey, we important folks have busy schedules! Relax, I’ll get back to you when I get back to you! 🙂
Thanks. Gotcha.
Sorry, the Chiefs are my favorite team. I’m just super relieved because the game was so close. With less than two minutes left, the Raiders were at about midfield for a possible game-winning field goal. They ended up turning the ball over on downs. The Raiders’ kicker is one of the best in the league. *phew*🤦♀️
FYI, I know it doesn’t count, but my older brother and niece are Kent State grads. Poor souls.
Eve, Thank You🏉
1. Any Chiefs’ win is sweet
2. Being 4-1 is spectacular
3 through 1,000,000,000. Beating the Oakland Raiders (No matter where they play) is as good as football gets!!!
The Chiefs can go 2 and 15, as long as they beat the Raider twice.
Eve, I got your FW post covered:
Mr. @TFHacket I just checked Comics Kingdom for Sunday’s most necessary cover. YOU are the only person that caught the James Pascoe spelling or lack there of! You have won an official
“NO PRIZE!” Display it proudly!
Thanks, @sorialpromise. There are a lot of obnoxious Raider fans where I live.
I bet Funky is glad the Raiders lost too. 😁
obnoxious Raider fans
I didn’t know there was any other kind.
See, now, that actually looks like comic book art. It’s much more dynamic and creative than the tired, pointless comic book covers Batiuk constantly gives us. I know the printed page can’t have that nice animation, but any frame of that is more attractive and fun than “The Subterranean.”
NFL teams are doing even more creative stuff:
Supposedly that’s also packed with anime in-jokes. Which is something else Batiuk doesn’t do: find little ways to make these efforts entertaining on other levels.
That is good stuff. Action. Color. Humor. Excitement. Batiuk craves not these things.
No doubt, the sequence for the Cleveland Browns involved Deshaun Watson. Redacted indeed.
What’s up with the Jacksonville Jaguar sequence? A sullen, casual clothes wearing Jaguar is sitting in a British pub. I know the Chargers played the Jaguars in London, but I don’t get it.
According to the explanation I read, the Jaguars sequence is mocking Urban Meyer picking up a woman in a bar. Also, the Japanese letters in the Cleveland Browns segment say “Cleveland is boring.”
I get it now. Urban Meyer is wearing the exact same outfit in the controversial video.
The Chargers schedule release video is even more impressive than I thought. It’s downright brilliant!
“Cleveland is boring.” Neither my husband nor I were born in the NE Ohio area, but we spent our formative years there. It still chafes a wee bit to see stuff like that. One of the friends I grew up with that now lives in Florida once commented, “There’s nothing wrong with Ohio that leaving it won’t cure.”
Tom Batiuk would be offended by that comment.
———————
I hope I haven’t been too obnoxious with my original post. The Chiefs have to play the Buffalo Bills next on a short week. Oh, fudge.
Pride goeth before destruction.
Travis Kelce is good at football
So is his brother Jason, Center for the 5-0 Eagles. (You have no idea how weird it is for a Philadelphia fan to contemplate the reality of being 5-0.)
The Eagles are playing the Cowboys next week. The Cowboys fans where I live are even more obnoxious than the Raiders fans.
♫ Fly Eagles, Fly ♪
Coach Stropp would have liked that.
I think that for most of the NFC the Cowboys are as hated as the Patriots are in the AFC.
Four touchdowns for Kelce. The third one was great. That man has a nose for the end zone.
Patrick Mahomes, glad he’s on my team. That man can play.
Andy Reid. That man can coach. Chieeefs!
Bull Bushka would have enjoyed that game.
So Les is about to play football in a polo shirt. I wonder if tomorrow Linda is going to walk by and toss him Bull’s helmet to wear.
Hitorque
October 9, 2022 at 11:47 pm
11. We all know an injury is coming this week, so let’s make some odds!!
In a belated response to Hitorque’s query yesterday, I’d like to place a bet on a serious injury to Les’s fragile ego. Hospitalization is very likely, and might even require surgery.
Let’s place those odds at better than even money.
Cayla: Oh, doctor, can you please save my Les?
Doctor: Ugh, yes, unfortunately he’ll be back to being the usual smug, condescending, inconsiderate a**hole you love for some unfathomable reason. Curse you, Hippocratic oath.
“Player to be named later.” It’s “player to be named later”, Mr. Pulitzer Nominee. It’s also a term associated with trades in pro baseball, not pro football. And Magic The Gathering? Was this strip left over from 2004? Great fuckin’ job.
To be fair (/Letterkenny voice) the substitution of “other thing” for “player” is the joke. It would almost kind of work if Magic cards were traded like baseball cards were in TB’s youth.
I’m oddly impressed TB has even heard of Magic: the Gathering, given the extreme narrowness and datedness of his geek interests.
Batiuk has, but Batton Thomas has not. As Bernie Silver wouldn’t let Batton sort DSH John’s Magic Cards at Komix Korner last year.
It’s still clunky as hell. All he needs to say is “throw in a Magic card and it’s a deal.” “later date” doesn’t need to be there at all. It’s another case of Batiuk bogging down his own jokes and dialog with unnecessary details.
My local comix and game shoppe, which has been in business at least 35 years since that’s as long as I’ve been shopping there, has what appears to be a robust weekly Magic the Gathering game night and a solid business in buying and selling cards, so it’s still A Thing. Whether it’s still A Thing for anybody over 15, I’m less certain.
Coincidentally, this morning at the climbing gym, I heard one of the instructors (late 20s?) mention that he was thinking of getting into Magic: the Gathering – there ensued a discussion of the features of other card games.
The young teens at a medieval event a few years back were all playing a science fiction based card game.
Wouldn’t they refer to them as “the freshman English teacher and his friend?:
Let’s quickly review the story so far – Funky and Les, now canonically pushing 70 (they recently celebrated the 50th anniversary of their high school graduation) have just finished playing tennis (not pickleball) and now are going to play full contact football with a bunch of teenagers.
Starbuck Jones isn’t the only fantasy in this strip.
Crankshaft: Those twins look like they are high on goofathal. And shouldn’t they be high schoolers now that the timelines were merged with FW?
Is it just me, or does one of the football players seem to be Ted Forth?
Après Lois Flagston, le deluge!
This strip is about comic books, even though it doesn’t seem to be. Look at the withering contempt his characters have for “Magic The Gathering”, something that’s enjoyed by millions of people, and has been around 30 years by now. After these two 68-year-olds invited themselves into the young people’s world. What a couple of arrogant pricks.
Giving Mr. Batiuk some credit, I believe he is introducing us to the new kids in high school he is going to follow.
I never give Mr. Batiuk any credit, as there’s never been a proper payback in this comic. Cash only, folks, cash only!
“In God we trust, all others pay cash.”
Okay, several years ago Blondie did a Sunday strip where Dagwood and Herb were part of a pickup baseball game with some kids. Dagwood and Herb made fantastic, near impossible plays throughout the game. The kids they were playing with were amazed at how these old men were so all-star capable. Cut to the last panel with the game over – Dagwood and Herb can barely move and are candidates for a Ben-Gay commercial swearing not to do this again. Long story -short: I think I’ve seen this arc before.
And once again I ask WHY TomBa thinks of an ideal storyline for a specific character (in this case Jerome Bushka) ONLY AFTER HE KILLS THEM OFF?!
Oh, please let this be how he kills off Funky! Then he can rename the strip LES MOORE with funky winkerbean’s ghost.
When I was younger, I used to watch the British fantasy series “My Partner the Ghost.”
In the U.K., it was known as “Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased).”
*Les Moore and Funky Winkerbean (Gone But Not Forgotten)* sounds good to me. (Jeff and Marty might disagree, though, and let’s not start with the widowed Jeannie!)
All of which makes me think of Snuffy Smith taking over Barney Google’s strip. Look, it’s Funk-Funk-Funky with the nudge-nudge-wink-wink-you-don’t-know-where-they’ve-been eyes!
“Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased)” — haven’t seen that in years. But it was a good little show! Must look it up and see if there are episodes floating around on the ol’ web….thanks for the memory jog!
You’re very welcome! The entire series is viewable online at
My Partner The Ghost (American Title-1969) – YouTube
Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased).
That didn’t work.
It is online, though, if you go to online and look up “My Partner The Ghost (American Title – 1969) YouTube.”
Marty Hopkirk was a materialist!
I’m slightly apprehensive, but I seriously doubt Les is going to dazzle the kids with his athletic prowess. Who can forget when he fouled off a pitch into his own face. 😂
If Batiuk had any sense of humor at all, Les would take a perfectly thrown bomb off his face, breaking his glasses (again).
Please, Mr. Batiuk. Do this for me?