Tag Archives: Jupiter Moon

( ••) ( ••)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

But seriously… be sure to read today’s strip before David Caruso‘s lawyer does.


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China Hates Lisa

today’s strip

Man, that Les face in the first panel is priceless.  Poor, poor Les.  Being forced to have a movie made of Lisa’s Story.  If only he could say no.  Which he could, of course, but won’t, because he’s a whiny child.  A whiny child who called his wife up to whine about the travesty being done to the memory of his dead wife.  Which, if it’s not the world’s story, then why did he publish it in a book as “Lisa’s Story”, exactly?  

This really is Les at his most insufferable.  I have an extremely hard time believing that even Batiuk thinks Les is sympathetic or at all likeable, but apparently he does.


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Oy Vey ist Premiere!

Let’s hope the prospective Mr. and Mrs. Jarre and Mr. and Mrs. Anger get back from the courthouse in time for the World Premiere of Starbuck Jones! The studio’s pulled out all the stops, installing huge inflatables of Starbuck, Jupiter Moon, and a Xanax Warrior atop the Val’s crumbling marquee, while the “front of house,” which just last week was brown, appears to have been repainted the same blue-gray as the drab balloons at that kid’s birthday party. Here’s hoping that the life-sized SJ and Jupiter we see waving to the crowd are costumed players; to have the movie’s leads cosplaying themselves at the world premiere would be too cheesy even for Batiuk.


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Dullholland Drive

December 10, 2016 at 6:04 am
Well, I thought it before, but this makes it abundantly clear. Marianne, the beautiful, successful and deeply desired actress was intentionally drawn to look like Summer Moore. Put a hoodie on her and no one would be able to tell the difference.

Your wish has been granted! Anyone lucky enough to have not read FW since late January, when we last saw Summer, would look at yesterday’s and today’s strip and suppose that dark haired gal to be Summer Moore (and “Mom” to be Cayla, having at last turned completely Caucasian).

Batiuk attempts another punny headline, either unaware of or ignoring the more common usage of the slang term “mooning.” Unless we’re to believe that it’s Summer, I mean, Ms. Winters, who misunderstands the context and thinks she’s been accused of flashing her ass at Mason.

Well gang, I’ve survived my fortnight at the SoSF desk, and I’m more than delighted to turn things over to billytheskink! If you’re in New York City this afternoon (Sunday) around three, I’ll be among the 500 tuba, euphonium, sousaphone, and baritone players taking part in the 43rd Annual Tubachristmas at Rockefeller Center (pregame at the Pig ‘n’ Whistle on W. 48th).

Happy Holidays and a Funky New Year, everyone!
From Son of Stuck Funky and TFH.


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Hiya, snarkers and snarkettes. Here’s hoping everyone had a delightful, long Thanksgiving weekend. And isn’t it just my luck to have my turn in the SoSF host rotation come up in the midst of the dullest FW story arc of the year. So far in the course of this interview, Cindy’s gotten in one question (“You went to prison?”), and for her lack of basic interview prep is forced to feign attentiveness as ol’ Cliff recounts how it went down in the days of the Red Scare. Cindy’s “two hour documentary” threatens to turn into Gilligan’s “three hour tour” without the laughs.

November 21, 2016 at 12:02 am
Well, BuddyBlog is certainly moving up in the world- they’re now using an actual camera instead of an iPhone!

True enough! And pretty soon, who knows, at some point they might spring for a tripod. I’d actually forgotten that Jessica had moved out to Hollywood last January. Naturally, like the rest of the Westview transplants she’s found employment as another cog in the StarBuddyBlog complex.


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Miss Exposition

Here’s a post for the late night snarkers while I go see some movie!

Link to today’s strip.


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Unsafe Place

SosfDavidO here, still, somehow…

More, more backstory in today’s strip from a girl who, from the looks of her upper lip in panel one, inherited her mom’s love of Hollywood and her father’s mustache.

Tombat’s idea of how people in Southern California speak seems to draw completely from a rerun of Square Pegs

Speaking of Safe Places, I’m pretty sure that the area where Peg Entwistle jumped to her death isn’t exactly a “Safe Space” by any stretch. Too many junkies and needles laying around.

Plus, the idea of looking at the sign seems silly, anyway…

“My Mom used to be depressed about being poor so we’d drive to Mulholland Drive and look at houses we could never afford..”


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Burgers and Brats

As a reader of Funky Winkerbean, I’ve grown used to Tombat expecting us to know (and care) about every single one of Westview’s 16,934 citizens and have memorized their backstory in excruciating detail. But now that we’ve done that, it appears Batuik is throwing a few dozen assorted Hollywood characters into the mix! Characters who might have an entire week devoted to them only to completely disappear forever, like what may happen to the starlet in today’s strip.

Then again, any one of these seemingly random people could be John Darling’s love child, here to give Lisa’s Story the fitting screen treatment it deserves.

At this rate, the next time jump’s cast page is going to resemble a damn Where’s Waldo puzzle!




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It’s The Stoppit Show

SosfdavidO here, totally, completely fooled into thinking this unlikely scenario is actually happening, despite Jupiter Moon’s not-so-gentle nudge to the reader that, hey, with the black and white comic, the ridiculous premise and now me saying “I can’t believe this is real” this is totally, totally really happening and is Funky canon.

That’s a problem with today’s strip. We all know it’s Cindy dreaming, or maybe Buddy the dog, since it’s black and white, but damn it, this is *not* unfolding in real time in any actual reality, Funkyverse or otherwise. And we’re going to have to slog through until Saturday (or more) to find that out.

I can’t believe this is happening. Again.


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Black and White and Red All Over

SosofDavidO here, taking the reins for a week or two!

Wow, Cindy, who knew your fiancee’s movie would include a romantic interlude! Here in today’s strip We see Cindy’s fuming face in full black and white as she tries to cope with “the other woman.”

Hey, be glad, Cindy, this is the PG-13 era of the 2000s and not the early 80s, where action movies were almost all R-Rated and were so not only for insane violence but for topless female shower scenes and sexual situations that seemed to go on FOREVER, especially if you were an uncomfortable 13 year old boy watching these movies with your parents in the room.


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