Blathering Heights

Link to today’s strip

Huh? Cliff was in prison? What was he convicted of, impersonating an interesting comic strip character? Comic book theft? Counterfeiting pizzas? Violating the super-strict NYC lampshade statutes? And no one knew anything about this until right now? Well, that’s just fascinating and by “fascinating” I of course mean “duh”. I can’t wait to see where this latest twist takes us and of course by that I mean “please kill me now”.

So Cindy is only finding out about Cliff’s prison past right now? There’s no documentarian like a Westviewian documentarian, like no documentarian I know as a matter of fact. Once her crack team figures out The Google thing this project is really going to take off, mark my words. And correct me if I’m mistaken here but wasn’t Vera supposed to be “long lost” when they dredged her up to appear at Starbuck-Con? So she was long lost AND ardently following Anger’s life at the same time? Hey, it’s the Batiukverse…why the hell not?

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16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Blathering Heights

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Let’s hope it was murdering everyone else who worked on the movie with him, and he’s feeling that urge coming on again.

  2. billytheskink

    No, when a star of any significance goes to prison they make the news. Major news. The kind of news that Cindy should have some knowledge of prior to this interview.

    Anyways, many entertainers drop off the face of the earth for reasons other than going to prison. Here’s a fun party game, replace Cliff’s name with that of any number of entertainers in Cindy’s opening question.

    “So, Snow… after the release of ‘Informer’ you were at your height of popularity… and then it was just as if you dropped of the face of the earth.”

    Methinks the height of Cliff’s popularity was about level with central Florida.

  3. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    “Yes. Who know impersonating long lost serial celebrities to sucker people out of money was a crime?

  4. Jimmy

    Why the heck is Cliff smirking in the final panel? Maybe he told Vera, “Make up whatever b.s. you want for this hack. I’ll go along with it; it’ll be a gas!”

  5. bayoustu

    Well, BuddyBlog is certainly moving up in the world- they’re now using an actual camera instead of an I-phone!

  6. Bobby Joe

    Before an interview you would think Cindy would do a modicum of research on her subjects. A Google search or Wicki Pedia would no doubt revealed this bit of information. I thought this was a reality based comic Strip. What reality is that?

  7. Epicus Doomus

    Bobby Joe: Every FW arc requires the reader to overlook at least one gigantic logic hole. Last week we had to pretend Darin just said and did nothing after learning that Frankie was on the lot. This week we’re to believe that Cindy, a professional newscaster no less, did no research on the subject of her documentary.

    And for that matter, why is Cliff even there? Didn’t he film his “earth scenes” back in Cleveland? Who’s footing the bill while Cliff and Vera saunter around Hollywood? Every FW arc is like this, they’re plots composed entirely of plot holes.

  8. Just you watch….Batiuk’s going to make a hash of the McCarthy hearings. I can say this because I’ve always been tempted to ask him if at long last, he has left no sense of decency.

  9. Charles

    Well, BuddyBlog is certainly moving up in the world- they’re now using an actual camera instead of an I-phone!

    Well, it’s possible that that’s so because Cindy subcontracted that role to Jessica, who is (snicker) holding the camera shooting this interview.

    It’s a hilarious tableau of unprofessionalism. They don’t have a reverse angle camera to show Cindy asking the questions. It appears to be shot in a grey, featureless void. And Vera has no problem barging in and answering a question directed at Cliff. I hope Jessica had Cliff in a tight headshot so she had to awkwardly pan over fast to get Vera as she answered that question like a complete asshole. The only way this could get even more ridiculously unprofessional is if Cindy didn’t realize that Cliff is suffering from severe dementia and thinks he stopped being an actor because he had to save the planet from the Cactus Demons from the Planet Flor.

  10. A HREF

    Oh it it is going to be OK fans, it was the prison of depression that Cliff went to because Vera dumped him.

    Or something like that.

    Wonder if TB will tip the Funky fedora to Pat Brady for ripping off Rose’s “Dungeon of Resentment“? Wonder if Vera has biker chick alter ego?

  11. Rusty Shackleford

    Another boring and unnecessary side story, to waste time and distract us from the main story, which is also boring and unnecessary.

  12. Ooh, so now we get a week of decorative filler material before next Sunday’s bang-up conclusion to the “Frankie Do Hollywood” arc, when Frankie tails Masoné and Mariann back to the studio, slinks into the “Flim Flam Food” trailer and excitedly tells his accomplice how he just about destroyed his finger holding the camera button down for the last two hours but it was worth it ’cause he got incriminating near-smoochy footage. At which point the accomplice says, “Y’know, those things don’t start recording till you take your finger off the button…”

    One panel of Frankie bright red.

    Stock image of Bikini bomb test (complete with James Allen ball)

    End of studio. End of Frankie. End of Masoné, Mariann, Durwood, Pete… nothing left of the Starsuck Jones movie but a smoking hole in the ground.

    Somewhere, Les Moore smirks. THE END.

  13. 1. You didn’t expect Little Miss Perfect to actually act like a fucking professional and do some research, did you?

    2. I thought this ‘documentary’ (FWIW, this isn’t a documentary, it’s a merely common “Where are they now?” profile) was supposed to be about Cliffe? WTF is Vera doing there, much less finishing his sentences??

    3. The cynic in me wonders if Vera only re-lit the torch so she’d be guaranteed a fat spot in this ‘documentary’ as well… (Don’t start throwing looks at me, because this HAS happened before).

    4. PLEASE JESUS GOD let Cliffe be a pederast… It would explain a great many things about this storyline…

  14. Can't look away

    I think we need to consider that she’s making a joke (those wisecracking senior citizens !) ….I know that’s rare in FW…but we at least have to have it on the table.

  15. Rusty Shackleford

    Actually, Batty has captured modern news reporting quite accurately: a pretty face that does no reasearch, asking meaningless questions.

  16. Conviction of silly things like that will be class C which is mistominor offence. Tasting a bit of someone else’s drink will land you in prison as someone who ran off with somebody’s vehicle full of Wisky and all. Ridiculous