Dullholland Drive

Charles
December 10, 2016 at 6:04 am
Well, I thought it before, but this makes it abundantly clear. Marianne, the beautiful, successful and deeply desired actress was intentionally drawn to look like Summer Moore. Put a hoodie on her and no one would be able to tell the difference.

Your wish has been granted! Anyone lucky enough to have not read FW since late January, when we last saw Summer, would look at yesterday’s and today’s strip and suppose that dark haired gal to be Summer Moore (and “Mom” to be Cayla, having at last turned completely Caucasian).

Batiuk attempts another punny headline, either unaware of or ignoring the more common usage of the slang term “mooning.” Unless we’re to believe that it’s Summer, I mean, Ms. Winters, who misunderstands the context and thinks she’s been accused of flashing her ass at Mason.

Well gang, I’ve survived my fortnight at the SoSF desk, and I’m more than delighted to turn things over to billytheskink! If you’re in New York City this afternoon (Sunday) around three, I’ll be among the 500 tuba, euphonium, sousaphone, and baritone players taking part in the 43rd Annual Tubachristmas at Rockefeller Center (pregame at the Pig ‘n’ Whistle on W. 48th).

Happy Holidays and a Funky New Year, everyone!
From Son of Stuck Funky and TFH.

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26 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Dullholland Drive

  1. Rusty Shackleford

    Let’s see. I’m sure Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, will show her driving around, then on Saturday a panel of black. Sunday will show Jarre and Cindy chilling on the beach in Malibu.

    I can’t wait!

  2. Epicus Doomus

    This Winters kid is simply way too thin-skinned and sensitive to make it in showbiz. You take a guy like, for example, Author Guy. He’s been facing the slings and arrows of armchair critics and hateful jealous losers since way before the internet even existed. Back in the day when he first abandoned the “gag-a-day” comic strip format in order to take the art form to strange and realistic new places, the “letters to the editor” section of my local newspaper was flooded with tens of angry missives over the decades, most of them demanding to know WTF was going on with that horrible unfunny comic strip. And onward he persevered, oblivious to the haters, their factual comments and the quality of the strip itself. He simply didn’t let it get to him and look at him today, soldiering on heroically and still annoying readers all these years later.

    Now Marianne is even acting like a teenager, informing her doting mom that she’s going out for a spin. What a swell kid. Man this strip could have really used a female character with an edge, but nope. I was hoping she’d be a bizzaro Cindy…young, confident, raven-haired, on the rise and etc. But instead she’s just another BanTom milksop, a frail blubbering idiot with a lousy haircut.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    You know the funniest part of this story? Apart from the star of multiple movies still living with her mom, I mean? That she’s finding out about this first on her laptop instead of her phone. And I’m sure Batiuk thinks he’s being so hip with that dumb pineapple again.

  4. Ray

    All I can say is one thing. Peg Entwistle.

  5. @spacemanspiff85 And by “on her phone” as in someone from the studio or, I dunno, does she even have an agent? calling her letting know it was handled. Nobody bothers to so much as check on this famous starlet. Who lives at her Mom’s.

  6. @ray Forget Peg, I’m rooting for a Marie Provost. https://youtu.be/c3dTc4kyIOU

  7. If I was teaching a class in writing for comic strips, and someone turned this arc in as an assignment, I think I’d probably ask him “Is your goal to become a serial killer? Because if so, this is spot on. Do you mind if I call the police? Just be a moment, thanks.”

  8. louder

    Amazing how there’s no photographers around the chew toy today! Thought she was supposed to be hounded day and night and blah, blah, blah. Gesh, BatHack can’t keep anything straight on this one, what a mook.

  9. billytheskink

    You know the funniest part of this story? Apart from the star of multiple movies still living with her mom, I mean?

    That Marianne living with her mom wasn’t DMZ and message board dregs fodder long before this whole kissing Mason thing? They wouldn’t have even had to make anything up on this story.

  10. Gerard Plourde

    @ray & TFH

    You both read my mind. It would also be consistent for him to go for the obvious. Maybe this is the long-anticipated “bullying arc” with signature melodramatic consequences. (Not to minimize the real problem of bullying and its effects.)

  11. spacemanspiff85

    Oh, and just to ruin the new year before it even begins, from Batuk’s blog:
    “Next year promises to be a busy one and it’s going to start early. In January, you’re going to be hearing about an very cool project involving the Batom Comics covers that have been appearing in Funky over the last couple of years and the 10th anniversary of Lisa’s Story. It’s going to be exciting and I can’t wait to let you in on it.”

  12. sgtsaunders

    Oh Law, we gone have us a car wreck.

  13. Great. The rancid olive on his bullshit sandwich about cyberbullying is brainlessly trivializing the problem by making the victim so obviously fragile, she’d commit suicide over a parking ticket.

  14. Rusty

    I don’t even think the haircut is the same person. I get that she’s frumpy enough (androgynous enough) to be Summer without her movie makeup, but was she also wearing a wig? I do like that their house could fit right in next to the Moore’s in Westview.

  15. The Merry Pookster

    TB considers “us” as the Bullies in his life….and grinding these lame archs with no resolution is his inane attempt to get back at us. Like he’s saying: ” You think that was bad writing?…I’ll show you bad writing!”

  16. If this is a cyberbullying arc, it’s a piss-poor one. Marianne’s had one inaccurate gossip story printed about her, big whoop. She hasn’t been shown to experience any of the negative effects of it, if there are any. She’s not getting death or rape threats, her private information hasn’t been released online, and there’s no indication that this incident has damaged her life, career, or family an any way. Then again, Batiuk probably thinks “doxxing” is the slang the Kids These Days use for stealing term papers off the Internet.

  17. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGOIST$$$

    Is this what Batiuk does after his daily reading of SOSF? Jump in his Prius and drive aimlessly through the streets, crying at the criticism? If it is what he does…that …..makes every post on this site well worth it!!!

  18. Fred Blurt

    May your Christmas be smirk-free and wry, TFH! And tuba all here a very merry Christmas!

  19. Hitorque

    1. So if she had her own car, why did she need to bum a ride home from Masone??

    2. Where are all the paparazzi? Wouldn’t she be relieved to see nobody around when she opened her door?

    3. Wouldn’t an established actress have a publicist and PR flak in full damage control/smokescreen mode already?

    4. Shouldn’t Marianne be well used to this media treatment by now, since she supposedly seduces all her co-stars??

  20. @Hitorque – Number four is especially apt. Just think, Tom Batiuk could have fixed this with a single line of dialogue.

    Something like, “Oh, no–not again!

    Of course, if she feared something like this might happen, she’d have never kissed Mason in the first place.

  21. Professor Fate

    Well Honestly I’d like to see her end up face down in the same pool we saw in Sunset Boulevard. It’s the romantic in me to quote another movie.
    Seriously this is just insanely lame and halt if you must know. It might become interesting if maybe Marianne secretly had the hots for Mr. Jarre and this cut too close to home that way and now she has to deal with feelings she didn’t want to but this is not way of Funky Winkerbean.
    Meantime if the production company had enough time to have sent out their own press release on this, wouldn’t they have have had time enough to call Marianne and let her know all is well and to ignore what may show up on the net?
    But that also is not the way of Funky Winkerbean.

  22. Montonis gave me food poisoning

    Please, please, please tell me this is heading for an Aldo Kelrast climax.

  23. Jimmy

    I hate myself for knowing all about the Aldo Kelrast arc.

  24. bad wolf

    “an(sic) very cool project involving the Batom Comics covers that have been appearing in Funky over the last couple of years …

    actually, that could be kinda cool! finally doing something useful with all the retro-nostalgia and turning the strip in a bold new direction. Great!

    …and the 10th anniversary of Lisa’s Story.

    aww crap.

  25. Charles

    Thing is, he butchers his own continuity to write this story, when his very own continuity would have supported it, but for his own sexism.

    Mason was the unknown actor in his first big time role and Marianne was the famous actress with an enormous following and a built-in audience. The roles could have been reversed with Mason not being able to handle the negative publicity of not being worthy of a superstar like Marianne, and Marianne being nonchalant about it. After all, she’s a famous actress. If she has any awareness at all, she’s more than familiar with how nasty the public can be with assertive, rich, successful young beautiful women, especially those who presumably engage in sexual relations with multiple partners. Mason wouldn’t be used to it, and would be stunned by the idea that people he doesn’t even know want to kill him for a guileless kiss with his co-star. Hell, Cindy’s own jealousy could help drive that point home.

    But no, the man always has to be the stoic one who’s world weary, experienced, and able to handle the harshness of the world. The woman, even if she’s world famous and notorious, is a fragile delicate little flower who must be protected from such awful hostility.

  26. Charles

    suppose that dark haired gal to be Summer Moore

    Hey now, we have to give Batiuk some time on that still. Marianne may have Summer’s awful hair, but her hoodie isn’t a pullover and she still exhibits secondary female anatomical characteristics (ie. she has big tits). Plus, when has Summer ever driven a convertible? (of course. You know, I lived in LA, Westwood specifically, for a time and there were way more SUVs than convertibles)