Tag Archives: Tony

Tony in the sky, with Pizza

In typical Batom® fashion, today’s strip is nothing but more of yesterday’s scribble – does anyone really need to be told that a “pizza drone” is intended to deliver pizza? Gotta hand it to T-Bats: no one can cram two panels of plot development into four panels so well.

And the more I look at that ridiculous little Guido-headed quad copter, the stupider this idea is. I see the props and landing gear, and a really small box in the middle which probably holds the batteries and control circuitry. Where does the pizza go? Inside that little red box? Maybe Tony’s going to send pizza out one slice at a time.

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drone, [v] 3. To proceed monotonously

HeyItsDave here, taking a break from playing Pokemon Go long enough to mock the Westview simpletons.

Today’s strip is ripped directly from the headlines of…what, November 2015, right? That’s when Amazon first announced they were working on drone delivery for a service they’re calling Amazon Prime Air. I guess that really got the ol’ creative juices going for T-Bats…too bad he writes this stuff so far in advance.

I’ve seen those little quad copter “drones” in action, and they haven’t got enough lift to pick up a roll of quarters, let alone transport a gloppy Ahia mess of a pizza. Can’t wait to see how this plays out…although, if the typical Batiuk Tony Montoni arc template is used, it will be several days of just talking Tony out of yet another of his spaghetti-brained ideas.

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Unpunny

Wow, after coming up with pretty lame planet/pizza based pun after pun, Tony settles on a random string of words strung together in today’s strip and we’re supposed to be impressed?

Pizza Purveyor!? Is there anything Mason *doesn’t* do? Are we really supposed to believe Hollywood stars and starlets are going to eat greasy, fattening, skin-wrecking pizza while working on an action film that probably demands a rigorous workout?

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Dough’nt Make That

Funky is hopefully putting the brakes on Tony’s barely-lucid ramblings in today’s strip, hopefully before he comes up with a “Challenger” pizza, where you have T+73.162 seconds to finish 7 slices or you’ll “explode” with disappointment.

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Gluten For Punishment

There’s no preview available for today’s strip but I’m guessing it’s going to be chock-full of pizza and space related puns.

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Uranus Is Too

Tony, damnit if you’re going to tell a 5th grader’s joke at least do it right!

Today’s strip is pale and watered down and pretty darned unfunny. I fear we’re in for a week of space-inspired pizza puns and that just isn’t fun for anyone.

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Space Case

Oh, Tony, how we missed you. You were gone for so long we’d forgotten about you completely, only to have you pop up when it’s least expected and with all that’s going on in Westview lately, a rather inopportune time. You’re like a herpes. It’s gone, no, wait, never mind. It’s back.

Still, time jumps have been kind to the man, as today’s strip shows. He doesn’t even need glasses to read whatever week’s worth of gags he’s written down to unload on us like yesterday’s stale breadsticks.

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Bologna, Tony

SosfDavidO here for a two week stint!

As testament to just how powerful the pull of Ohio is in Tombat’s world, it would appear all of Hollywood has decided to up and move production there based on, um, I have no idea what. Sure it’s cheaper there but I’m guessing a big-budget tentpole movie like Starbuck Jones would be really heavy on the greenscreens. Unless Cleveland has some effects production house I’m unaware of a lot of the digital heavy lifting would probably be done in New Zealand, where they can pay artists in “exposure” and bundles of wool.

In any case, Tony is back in today’s strip! Half of the readers might have trouble even remembering who he is. I just keep thinking he’s Mario from Nintendo, just twenty years older.

That said, the path to madcap zaniness has been set, though Tony might want to check with the lawyers for the Starbuck Jones movie before engaging in any promotional offers for a movie he has zero rights to.

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And With That Last Panel, The Arc Ended

Link To Today’s Strip

Yikes, talk about lackadaisical. Maybe he could end every arc this way…”and that was how Lisa died”…”and that was how Funky traveled back in time”…”that’s why Les is such a smug dick all the time”…”and that’s why Owen always wears that hat now”…you get the idea. If Funky had just said, “oh, we won a holiday bowling tournament that year” on Monday, all of whatever this was supposed to be could have been neatly avoided and replaced with, oh I don’t know, something about pizza or comic books or an immense sense of personal loss or something fun like that. You know, the typical meaty FW fare.

It’s funny to me how he’ll use FW to promote CS but the CS strips merely used FW characters as backdrops. If you don’t read CS regularly you have no idea who that lady is or why her bad bowling is supposed to be funny. None of the FW characters seemed to recognize their psychotic old school bus driver either, which is pretty weird, as he was supposedly so “iconic” he got his own spin-off strip. The main thing I got out of it was realizing how old Rachel actually is, how old and fat Funky got and how Bull looks pretty much the same as he did back then which is a huge accomplishment in the Funkyverse. So kudos to him.

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It’s A “Cross-over”!!!

Link To Today’s Schlock

Get it? The bowling ball “crossed-over” into Rachel’s lane! “Cross-over”! Har-dee-har-har! Oh man, BanTom was on a real “roll” here, “bowling” us over with one of his patented side-“split”-ters. He’s the comic strip author you just can’t “pin” down! I may have to order a copy of this one so I can “frame” it as soon as I have some cash to “spare”. This kind of humor is right up my “alley”.

Anyhow, Ed’s band of boring morons have apparently just handed Funky’s band of boring idiots the coveted Holiday Tournament trophy via their sheer ineptitude. Quite a story and well worth the five days he spent telling it. Hopefully Jessica learned her lesson here and never inquires about those greasy old Montoni’s photos again. That girl is in dire need of a hobby. Might I suggest documentary film-making….oh, yeah, that’s right. Never mind.

Notice how CS characters are front and center in FW but not the other way around. Also notice what a piece of crap “Crankshaft” is, although you already knew that. I wonder which one draws more readers? I mean sure, we’re talking about maybe forty people here, give or take, but still. Everyone who filled me in regarding CS was right on the money, what a nasty piece of business that whole mess is.

But isn’t it pretty funny how badly he botched his comic strip titles? “Funky Winkerbean” and “Crankshaft”…oh man, when you think about it those are two really bad unmarketable titles right there. One is just stupid and the other couldn’t possibly be more innuendo-laden. I personally can’t wait to stop having to type the word “crankshaft”, even initializing it is annoying at this point.

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