This is probably more “inside baseball” than you folks need, but WordPress has recently changed the post editor into a near-disastrous model. Everything is hidden, and when it isn’t, it’s nowhere near where it should be.
We used to have a list of all the tags available for a post, so we could pick and choose which ones were appropriate. Now, we have to guess–typing the first three letters will usually bring up something, but not always.
All this is an extremely roundabout way of saying that when Tony showed up on Monday, I typed in “ton” and got not only “Tony” but “Tony’s stupid ideas.” And today’s strip illustrates that perfectly! “Who’s going to feed them” is not the only legitimate question–“Where are they going to go, on the roof, all day and night?” is another good one. “Where do they go after Christmas?” “Who’s paying for this?” There are lots more.
Thank you, Tony’s stupid ideas.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Everyone who lives in the apartment above Montoni’s has had to use that outdoor metal staircase to access the second floor. Now, suddenly, there’s roof access via an indoor stairway. So are we to believe that when the building was built the builders included a staircase that led to the roof but none that led to the second floor? How is that even architecturally possible?
If you visit the Official FW Blog you’ll find an extremely rare drawing of the Montoni’s District. I’m not linking it here, lest he sics his team of high-powered NYC lawyers on me. But check it out, as it’s fascinating. We’ve seen the staircase that leads to Komix Korner before and you can see it in the drawing, but the placement seems to indicate that it cuts Montoni’s in half, which seems odd. Also note how there seems to be a second apartment there on the left, an apartment that does not appear to have any access at all, which is probably why no one has ever lived there.
And is the entire bottom floor all Montoni’s? If so, it’s way bigger than it looks inside, unless that Komix Korner staircase rendered the entire left side of the building unusable. But there is a door there, which adds yet another element of strangeness to the whole thing.
I don’t see how he can get mad at us for making use of the handy share-link button that the blog itself provides on each post (right next to the e-mail, Facebook, and Twitter buttons).
But I’m also a coward, so I’ll just note that the title of the relevant blog post is “Match to Flame 135” and leave it at that.
I need someone to fill me in: Tony sold Montoni’s to Funky, right? His current role of “owner emeritus” is purely unofficial and ceremonial? Meaning, Funky can tell him to go pound sand? He won’t, of course, but I just want to pin down the reasons why he won’t.
Also, the fake reindeer would have been mounted at the very edge of the roof. These live reindeer will have to stay in the middle of the roof, where they’ll be impossible to see from the street. (Unless Tony tries to force the issue, in which case I expect the falling livestock to leave a big mess on the pavement.)
To answer my own questions: no, it seems like Tony is still an official partner in the business. This SF post from 2008 bears that out (though judging from the comments, it was a point of confusion back then as well).
Funky became co-owner of Montoni’s with Tony back in mid-Act II after working his way up from delivery driver (that thud you just heard was Rachel hitting the glass ceiling) and there has been nothing said in the strip since that I can recall that indicates ownership stakes have changed. That said, Funky exerts all but total control of Montoni’s and has since Act III began, when it is implied that Tony can’t require Funky to undo his cost-cutting on ingredients that had made Montoni’s pizza terrible (well, more terrible).
Thanks for the context.
How ironic in that we also cannot require Batty to undo his cost cutting writing and artwork.
The biggest problem here is not “Where did they store all those fiberglass reindeer?” or even “What if the reindeer panic and leap to their deaths, in the process crashing down on passers-by like turkeys tossed from a helicopter?” but “Will the hidebound residents of Westview tolerate this sudden deviation from the time-honored fiberglass reindeer atop Montoni’s roof?” This is the sort of outrage that makes people avoid Montoni’s more than they usually do.
…like sacks of wet cement.
“Where do they go after Christmas?”
Let’s just say you’ll want to avoid the pepperoni at Montoni’s more than usual in January and February…
I’ve had reindeer meat. It’s not that bad actually. You wouldn’t want it on a pizza, though. It’s a bit gamey.
Gamier than Montoni’s pizza?
I’m sorry, but I don’t feel that TB gave Funky’s panel one balloon sufficient context for readers. It should read “The plastic reindeer–symbolic of the eight or nine flying reindeer charged with pulling Santa’s sleigh around the world during his annual Christmas Eve gift delivery rounds–that we put up on the roof of our pizzeria, Montoni’s, to entertain and attract customers each December are starting to look pretty shabby and should be replaced with new plastic reindeer!” Seriously, would “These plastic rooftop Christmas reindeer are looking pretty shabby!” have been so obscure that no one could guess what the Funky he was talking about?
Also, why didn’t Funky say something about live reindeer the moment Tony brought them over, or did Tony have him go up to the roof and wait for him to bring his hooved charges up the stairwell without telling him what’s going on?
In all fairness, a Google Maps search for “reindeer farm” in NE Ohio returns half-a-dozen hits.
Thanks for the research. None of the places appear to sell, rent or loan their animals; they all appear to be petting zoos. One says the petting is limited right now because the male reindeer are in rut and that makes them dangerous, so I’m guessing that Funky and Tony Monotony are in for a remarkable rooftop experience. Also, the reindeer are valued at $10,000 per head, which makes that live display a bit pricey.
Yeah, but Funky doesn’t know that. 🙂
In all seriousness: yes, I suppose I didn’t do my research on that one. But I think the principle is still sound. Even if he just had to go across town to get them, reindeer are large, ornery animals and you cannot just lead three of them up a narrow staircase onto a roof like that. Certainly not without Funky noticing.
I find Tom Batiuk’s realism fetish annoying, because he’ll just randomly throw it out the window for an unrealistic, nonsensical joke like this one.
Brilliant!!
The real question is: Do real, live reindeer go Splanng!!! when they hit the sidewalk?
This is a quality callback:
https://sonofstuckfunky.com/2013/12/17/splanng/