Tag Archives: cellphone

Smirky Smirkybean

It is only at today’s strip where I finally realize the true meaning of Free Comic Book Day. I get it now. It’s not a day where free comic books are given out. No, it’s a rallying cry. A desperate plea. Comic Book Day must be freed from the clutches of these unbearable shmucks! Free Comic Book Day! And Free Holtron while we’re at it!

Also, Logan Church is here now. Such a sad turn for the once-accomplished business blogger. You could drive a semi-truck through her earrings.

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Doom Smells Pretty Fishy.

Link to today’s strip

Oooh, we have a real treat this week. Not only was Monday a nonentity where one character essentially tells another, “I will soon tell you the point.” But we get a double dose of the ‘suspense’ today. Do you think by the end of the week we will know the crux of the ‘conflict’? I give it 50-50 odds.

Funky is shoveling the snow off the sidewalk, and talking to his wife on the phone. So much wrong with this.

While I guess a March snowstorm isn’t insane for the Midwest,(here in Iowa we had snow on Thursday,) the strip on Sunday had the students standing on growing green grass in light jackets and sweaters.

Funky is just outside his house. Unless his wife is away from town, isn’t she just inside? Why is she asking him if he’s sitting down? Why is she having this serious conversation with him on the phone, instead of waiting the 15 minutes for him to finish shoveling? Has she locked him out of the house? Do they only converse with cell phones now? Does she refuse to set eyes on him since he turned into a horrible eldritch amalgamation of the Stay-puff Marshmallow Man and Statler the Muppet?

‘Not necessarily bad news’ always means, ‘it’s not bad for me, but you won’t like it.’ Funky is right to sniff doom. On the other hand, a good whiff of Funky right now probably smells like moldy dog and onions. He sniffs doom with every inhale.

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Disarmed

Today’s strip wasn’t available for preview.

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Aunt Alta Vista

Here’s the link to today’s strip. I have only a single comment:

Stop it with “Grandpa Google”! It is not a thing anyone in real life has ever said or ever will say!

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He’s Smirking Because He’s Got Speakerphone On, And Likes Humiliating His Daughter

Link To Today’s Strip

So apparently Rana can’t speak for herself, and Wally has to clear this with her mom, because she’s eight years old and not a grad student.  Wait, that’s not right.

I mean, why would Becky object?  It’s the first time in like ten years Wally’s even been aware he has a daughter.  Becky’s got to seize that moment while she can.  And this will allow her and John to have a romantic Thanksgiving alone.  Who am I kidding, of course it would be the two of them and Crazy Harry.

And it’s one thing for an individual to say that they personally are putting on the “freshman fifteen” (grad school fifteen is just lame and continues the long Batiukian tradition of thinking just switching two words is enough to be hilarious).  It’s another thing for Becky to “joke” about this totally behind Rana’s back to her dad.  It just comes off like complaining about her getting fat, which is laughable, but totally in line with the general mean-spirited nature of Batiuk’s strips.

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Hello Darling

Programming note: Monday’s strip won’t drop until midnight eastern, so expect another “placeholder” post. Thanks!

Now this strip from last March (see detail) makes sense: the “we” moving back to Ohio is not Darin and Jess, but Darin and Pete. Turns out Boy Lisa was right, too. Jessica seems to have adjusted very well to being a long distance wife and mother.  Shouldn’t she be “trying to sublet the apartment and wrap[ping] up her documentary film work with Cindy”? Instead, she’s lounging on the deck enjoying her fifth Ketel and tonic. She’s so sloshed that she accidentally texts her mother, who is grateful for this misdirected crumb of affection.

Readers of the official FW blog will recognize the bespectacled geek dad in panel one as John Darling, Jessica’s father who was murdered. Unless they read today’s “dialogue,” though, they’ll have a hard time figuring out that the woman who looks exactly like Jessica but with different hair is her mom Jan. As drawn by Tom Armstrong, Jan Murdock was quite the hottie. Batiuk (and the returning Rick Burchett) render her using the Blandly Attractive White Female Template.

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Uh-O-Hio

Thankfully, today’s strip see’s the end of Funky and Holly’s ridiculous and pointless road trip. Unfortunately, panel 3 seems to be foreshadowing a fate worse than Montoni’s pizza for dinner… alumni band practice, no doubt involving Lefty and Dinkle. This relatively innocuous strip is, unfortunately, a likely calm before the storm.

Sometimes with this strip, you think there can be nowhere to go but up. That is NEVER the case, though. Never allow yourself to think that this strip cannot get worse. It has too deep bench of characters and recurring settings that you fear seeing to ever expect improvement, the immortal Dinkle and his non-retirement being chief among them.

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