Fake Punt

Who else had to look up what it means to “outpunt your coverage“? Obviously it’s a football analogy (so of course it comes out of Bull’s mouth), but in football, when you outpunt your coverage, you’re giving your opponent a chance to return the punt and gain good field position. However, according to urbandictionary.com defines this as “when a guy with no looks and no money lands a hot chick.” What a nice compliment to pay a girl about her father.

35 thoughts on “Fake Punt”

  1. I know what it meant, but I had no idea it had become slang for “scoring way over your head” regarding the ladies. Based on everything we know about Cayla thus far, I’d have to say “not really, Bull” on that one.

    Of course Bull had to qualify his little witticism with the word “again”…meaning You-Know-Who. Of course, Lisa was every bit as pathetically dweeby as Les was when they met and only blossomed into Westview’s model of feminine perfection later on. So in short, shut the f*ck up, Bushka.

    The leaves, the leaves, won’t someone help the poor, poor leaves! Take a look at Cayla’s left arm…what the hell is going on there? And that weird blue background: it’s like Les’ front yard is at the very edge of a flat earth.

  2. I think Bull is letting us, the readers, in on the knowledge that the whole town pretty much hates Les and thinks he should be squashed like a bug and not rewarded in any way.

  3. Five smirks, one panel. Outpunting your coverage is a bad thing, meaning the punt returner has a chance to break a long one, perhaps for a touchdown. So Funky is basically saying that Les is in danger of…oh, hell, I don’t know.

    I guess the main point is that Funky says, “Again.” Because, you know, the whole Lisa thing is never, ever, ever going away. So sorry, Cayla.

    Seriously. What’s wrong with Cayla? What sort of childhood traumas did she endure to insure that she’d end up in such a loveless, dysfunctional, totally, utterly fucked up marriage to an assfaced sociopath like Leslie Moore?

  4. Swishy Tom does NOT strike me as the type of guy who follows sports much. So I wasn’t surprised to see an incomprehensible football metaphor thrown in. Even though the term is found in the Urban Dictionary, I still nominate it for the BatDick-tionary, because a savvy football coach or fan would not use such a misleading analogy to suggest someone is “marrying up.”

    And when Funky Bull said “again,” he was referring to Slutty Susan, who could suck a basketball through a garden hose, and was yet another woman who wouldn’t give someone like Goatee Dork a second look in real life.

    Notice that Dickface and Crayola are by themselves. Nobody wants to subject themselves to anything Les has to say, but Doormat has no choice. And how many of Crayola’s relatives do you see? IF THEY CAME AT ALL, they probably couldn’t get away fast enough.

    Summer and Mopey Pete are played by the same guy, right? Must be a cost saving thing. Really sucks to be an ugly girl AND an ugly guy at the same time.

  5. Now, I’m going out on a limb and say that sometime in the recent past, FW and Crankshaft were both canned after KFS had enough. But Batiuk begged not to release that information–it would hurt his ego.

    So Batiuk begins to subtly wrap things up. He sends Summer and his(?) sister off to Kent State. He sends Cory to military school. Becky really DID kill Roberta–did anyone see her this week? And for his Author Avatar he lands Cayla, now completely drained of character.

  6. let the sitcom begin,two kids & there wacky parents set up house with ghost lisa ,can’t wait batwack

  7. (aside: I went to the UD link, I clicked on the “Random” page, and it happened to be “Cancer porn”. Weird, huh?)

  9. Any chance this will turn into “Blithe Spirit”? Summer has the looks to play Margaret Rutherford’s role as Madame Arcati.

  10. I don’t know what surprises me more, that Batiuk used an expression that actually is used in the manner he intended to use it, or that we’re still on the wedding, and we haven’t abandoned that story in favor of Crazy talking about Tarzan comics or something.

    And yeah, “again”. Lisa’s always on everyone’s mind.

    Also, I’m not sure how Cayla is so wonderful. She has all the personality of freezer burn. Oh well, she’s pretty, I guess, and that’s all that really matters.

  11. I know what it meant, but I had no idea it had become slang for “scoring way over your head” regarding the ladies.

    I’d never head it in this contest, either, but really, it was sooooooooo obvious…I mean, we’re talking Bull here, and he’s talking about Les, who has just nailed it from half-court.

  12. It should be noted that , since Lisa had gone from frizzy geek to babe before Les married her that it’s actually twice he beat all the odds. Who’da thought…?

  13. “Cayla looks like a doll today…” Because Les had her embalmed right before the ceremony. She was getting bitchy about his bad puns, and no way he was going to let her show him up once the guests arrived.

    Oh, and that looks like three lawn chairs left in the yard, so I’m guessing that’s three guests who have already fled the scene puking in disgust?

  15. Oh God, please let that weird blue background be a rapidly advancing cloud of chlorine gas from a train derailment that will choke the entire cast to death this week in lovingly rendered detail (except for Wally, Rachel, and Cory, the three least objectionable FW characters [which isn’t saying much]).

  16. I’d like to know what’s happening to Cayla in the background there, with the oddly canted head and the wrists and arms. I’m thinking that she’s either doing the Robot or in the first seconds of some kind of seizure.

  17. What’s amazing is that all comments and concern at this fiasco of a wedding concern no one but Less, no one gives a damn about Cayla. TBatCrazy, if you and the other characters in your sick fantasy don’t care, why should the reader of this “comic” care either?

  19. Les actually looks pretty damn sharp in that tux, considering he was Doofus Major at his prior wedding. I’m surprised TB hasn’t formed some tedious, godawful joke about Les’ last wedding wasn’t really his last wedding after all. Back to the tux, Sumz should have worn one. In fact, everyone in attendance should have worn a tux. Edgy.

    Anyone notice that TomBat himself posted at NJ.com. So why won’t he come see us?

  20. Sgt. Saunders: Anyone notice that TomBat himself posted at NJ.com. So why won’t he come see us?

    Anything’s possible on the internet, but that comments actually looks pretty legit to me. That comics page, by the way, is the same one readers see on the site of any paper that has a deal with King Features (not just in Jersey).

  22. “It’s refreshing to see no bigotry from my readers” = “My readers are usually bigots”?

  23. Man, I think he’s trying to tweak his snarkers (who aren’t his readers) with that comment. If he has the audacity to claim that the objections that readers have to this wedding are due to the readers’ bigotry, it would just confirm some of the worst assumptions I have of him. He’s completely lost all objectivity concerning his creation.

    If that’s the case, we can also assume that his response to critics of his gay prom storyline is that they’re all a bunch of gaybashers.

    If so, what a worthless ass.

  24. I’ve often thought that it was SOMEONE’S bigotry that made Tommy Hack do a total racial makeover on Cayla. Either Bat Nuts got nervous about her, or one of his sycophants tapped him on the shoulder and whispered that she was “too black” to be Goatee Boy’s girlfriend. Either way, the bigotry is on HIS end.

  25. So, my one little comment (yes, I’m Null) in a sea of others managed, somehow, to trigger Mr. Batiuk’s FunkySense and led him to respond–for what seems to be a pretty much first time.

    Yes, that’s extraordinarily believable. Alternatively, methinks he protests too much.

  26. I think it’s worth noting that I have no problem with the “inter-racial” aspect of this marriage. No, for me it’s the “ultra-stupid” aspect of it that’s a problem.

  27. Linda: “Cayla looks like a doll today…”

    Bull: “I thought so too, then I realized it was just her standing so far away that -made- her look tiny!”

    Linda: “…*…”

    Bull: “Hey, shouldn’t we be busy on weekdays? I have this nagging feeling there’s something we’d have scheduled instead, especially this time of year.”

  28. I am surprised Batiuk emerged from his ivory tower to converse with us uneducated peasants. Perhaps he’ll do it again! In fact, I really wish there could be a thread where he’ll do a Q&A (“Why is Summer so ugly”, “What’s with all the plot holes”, etc.)

    So many questions to ask!

  29. Apparently didn’t want to settle the Race Change question. Overall, appears to be quite the chickenshit.

    Apparently, The Dark Lord of Medina appears only to those who believe in him.

  31. In all honesty – do we really expect TB to show up here or the CC or Funkywatch? Whatever idiocy we attribute to his creation I don’t see him wasting his time walking into the lion’s den. Now a public forum where he could get good or bad press? Maybe there.

  32. Tommy Boy wouldn’t dare show up at CC. CC is too big and important in the comics industry. Every artist pays homage to CC at some point.

    I wouldn’t it put it past Tommy to come onto her though….especially if it gives him an opportunity to close this site in some way.

  33. I was going to express my misgivings about us snarking on the NJ.com site, my reasoning being that we’ve got our own site for snark right here, and that provoking the non-ironic readers over there just seemed kind of rude to me. It’s kind of like the difference between giving the MST3K treatment to a movie you’re watching at home with friends, and talking in a theater around people who actually wanted to see the movie (crappy as it may be). But if it actually gets a response from Batiuk, I guess there is an upside to it after all.

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