Inkwell
November 29, 2012 at 3:11 am
It’s official: Funky is turning into Crankshaft. What kind of time loop led to this?
And I officially agree with Inkwell’s comment. Funkshaft’s “light at the end of the rainbow” anti-proverb yesterday was the first sign. Today his “by-golly”, finger-wagging indignation has blinded him to the irony of registering his displeasure to the postmaster via e-mail.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Funky would make a great Tea Bagger.
Party member.
In today’s strip Funky hits a new low, twisting the knife as he reminds his “pal” that his entire profession has been obsolete since the mid-to-late 1990’s. Based on this week’s unyielding cruelty, I have to wonder if Funky is back on the sauce or something.
Then again, this is really one of those “Ralph & Potsie” arcs that doesn’t have the gravitas of a Les (Richie) or Summer (The Fonz) arc, so perhaps the author is just simply trying to be funny and failing because he’s so out of practice. Use it or lose it, man.
A joke delivered without smirk or a blatant acknowledgment of the irony? Surely, someone hijacked the pen and inkwell – or at least the word bubbles.
Really, Funky’s going to fire off an email? I didn’t think he was that tech-savvy. Won’t he need his MBA pizza-app guru Dustbin to do it for him?
I’d like to read Funky’s email. I bet it goes–
“Dear Postmaster General–How are you? I am fine. My name is Funky Winkerbean, and yes, I am serious! That is my real name! Ha ha, it is pretty funny, isn’t it?
“Do you know Les Moore? He is not only my friend, he is an important man. He is so important, I bet the President calls him all the time, for help with stuff! Les Moore is a really smart man. I do not know of another man as smart as him!
“If you were to ask Les Moore if the Post Office should be closed, Les Moore would say, ‘No,’ and he would say it with a little smirk to show that he knows you understand him. Because you would understand him. Because if you didn’t understand him, and you did something he didn’t like, he would wish you into the cornfield. I am pretty sure you would not like that!
“Anyway, this is my letter to you. I am sorry it is so long! Ha ha, sometimes it is hard to read long things, that is why I am glad that Les Moore wished the books of Dante and Shakespeare and Stephen King into the cornfield! Those books were too long.
“I will write again next week! Ha ha, I hope you are not in the cornfield, or I will have wasted a forever stamp! I do not like to waste stamps, just so you know!
“Yours truly and affectionately, Funky Winkerbean (yes, that is my real name! Ha ha!)”
Did Funky poo his pants, and that’s why he had the wild mood swing from his dippy happy-go-lucky devil-may-care attitude from yesterday, to today, where he’s mad mad mad and he’s not going to stand for this! What a weird week.
And I’m sure his email to the Postmaster General is going to make an enormous difference. You know, the decision regarding the Westview Post Office was a snap decision, made without any consideration whatsoever. Once they learn that that means that the laziest postman ever is gonna lose his job, I’m sure they’ll take things a lot more seriously. Crazy Harry deserves that much, after all.
Eh, today’s was actually almost– no, it was, actually, amusing. I can’t hate every strip!
At least Funky is stalling on the inevitable hiring of Harry. Maybe he’s not so dumb after all.
This arc is so wrong on so many levels, but I did find today’s strip funny in the Crankshaft sort of way. I suggest that if Funky is so upset that he must immediately let the Postmaster know of his displeasure, don’t just use email. Use UPS or Fedex as well. Nothing says “we need you” like using a competitor’s product to show your concern.
I felt a Moore-ish smirk start to travel up one side of my face just now when I saw today’s strip (having predicted Batiuk bitching about the Internet by the end of the week) and promptly punched myself in the mouth.
I know this has already been suggested, so don’t be surprised if the next step is to have another charity auction to keep the post office open. In the story of Chanukkah, a tiny amount of oil kept a lamp burning for 8 days. In Wankerview, an auction that raised a few hundred bucks kept all the sports programs running the entire school year! And since we’ve heard nothing about the money running out, they’re not out of cash yet!
Time to do the same for the Post Office, Mister Chamber Pot of Commerce.
Rusty, nah, Flunky’s not in the Tea Party. Wankerview is a town of union lunkheads. Probably accounts for all the prosperity we keep hearing about over there.
Are you kidding Wanker? Westview is a special monarchy where Les is King and Summer is the fairy princess.
Email? Uh-oh, Funky’s serious! He’s going to use technology to get his point across!
Funky ought to fire off a phone call to his electrician, because the lights have been off in the back of the house at Montoni’s for days. (Hm… that snark seems familiar.) Also familiar, sadly, is this Batominc trope of weak irony when it comes to technology. As ever in this act, Funky Winkerbean’s narrative is ¼" and 2 decades from reality.
Or maybe this isn’t Montoni’s in Westview, Ohio, USA, after all. Look at the name of the place in the background! “ОТИОМ”. In Soviet Russia, Postmaster General emails you!
One post office for all of Westview?
Mail service to be discontinued, Argo no need for carriers?
How will FW get his monthly subscription the “Pizza World”?
I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow’s strip, just to see how TB will continue to treat Crazy’s layoff and the end of the Westview post office like a Montgomery Ward closing.
Actually, scratch that. Montgomery Ward had enough sense to stay open for one final Christmas season in 2000, knowing that even they could make some money during that time. Why would the government close a post office right in the middle of the mail’s busiest time of year? Even the actual government isn’t that foolish…
I feel like a celebrity! For my next big prediction, Cory comes home with malignant PTSD.
how about Crazy goes postal with Wally’s gun ? That would be the bestest christmas present ever.
Wait a minute. Billytheskink nailed this one. They are closing THIS Friday?? This is the beginning of THE busiest time of the year for the Posties. Whatever post office is supposed to absorb Wankertown’s routes will be overrun.
I didn’t think it was possible, but this arc makes even LESS sense now. Batyuck, pull your pointy little head out from up your ass.
I actually like Crazy Harry and his innocence, which is a contrast to pricks like Funky and douchebags like Les.