Hey everybody, it’s Les and Cayla! You win, Tom Batiuk, I have never been so thrilled to see Les and his bride! Not to mention their Talking Christmas Tree, speaking to us through the window in panel 1! Seems Funky and Holly are having a blue Christmas, thinking about their little boy in green. “I think I know what we can do to pick up their spirits!” urges Les. “Do that trick where your appearance completely changes from one panel to the next!”
The abrupt end to the Crazy Harry arc probably is due to the fact that Batiuk realized he only had til today to squeeze in his “Mayan Calendar” gag.
Son of Stuck Funky 
There have been literally dozens upon dozens of memes regarding the supposed Mayan apocalypse. Millions of people making ironic “see you on the other side” type comments on Facebook and Twitter. And I think I can safely say that no person ever has used the phrase “Mayan calendar moment.”
…and TB supposedly writes his strips a year in advance?
So after the world ends tomorrow, not to worry. There’ll be FW strips out there in the cosmos for another Mayan Year.
Hoo Boy… Funky/Holly/Less/Crayola….that party needs some dancing Tostitos and fast.
I would rather be bored beyond description with the other cast members, honestly. I can read the strip, enjoy the snark, and the rest of the day is mine.
Les just irks me though. He ruins the whole day. He should die. In a fire.
Actually, if he survived with 3rd degree burns covering his entire body and had to live out his life in swaths of bandages constantly moaning in pain, well, that would be all right.
I assume a “Mayan calendar moment” is when you have an exaggeratedly large buildup, and then in fact nothing happens.
So yeah, Batiuk can deliver that.
I wonder how long until Funky and Holly notice the cute couple have invaded their homes, to deliver unto them what I assume is the sweet release of death.
“I know what I can do to pick up their spirits…heh heh heh! (Reaches for vodka bottle). The expression on his face would match that, right? That bizarre eyebrow-cocking sneer, the beard, the spectacles: he’s that rare character that just violently annoys you instantly and effortlessly. What a dick.
Seriously though, I assume he’s sneering at Cayla’s timely yet nonsensical and moronic joke, which is appropriate I guess, given how much the joke sucks and all. Cayla’s deadpan (and I do mean DEADpan) delivery isn’t helping either, as it appears she just returned from a Xanax-snorting contest…which she won. Or maybe Les is just perplexed as to why she changes appearance from panel to panel. If that’s true, Les and I now have one thing in common.
“Missing Cory” is really the premise here? LOL, no comment. I can’t believe anyone would show up to these Les-hosted parties anymore after the shit he pulled a few New Year’s ago.
“A Mayan Calendar Moment.” Cayla, get ready. Just…get ready.
thats party sucks so bad even DSH & crazy didn’t show,whats the odds on Lisa sighting ? and who the hell is cory ? an couldn’t summer an other daughter make hour drive home? so many ? bathack
Oh, I guess that’s Les’ house. I just assumed Funky and Holly invited everyone for a party then sat on the couch moping.
I nominate “Mzayan Calendat Moment for the Batiuktionary. I just googled it and found nothing.
PS. I did like ReFlex 76’s last post, but only because TFH banned him/her.
Cory… Cory. Why does that name sound familiar? Wasn’t that Kathy Lee Gifford’s kid?
Cayla: “So, Cory hasn’t spent any time, you know, actually being TRAINED? He just went directly from Westview to active military duty? That…that doesn’t sound RIGHT.”
Les: “Well, you know, the military is evil! And stuff.”
Cayla: “Come to think of it, how come the only people we ever visit and talk about are YOUR friends? Why won’t you allow me to invite some of MY friends over? Or visit them? Or even TALK about them.”
Les: “Hmmph! It’s called WIFE-ing, Cayla! In the main, your duty as my spouse is to love and support me. And -I- say that MY friends and interests should be enough for you! Now go off there and impose the Les Moore trademark brand of smarmy, enforced, posed friendliness onto two people obviously wishing for privacy! It’ll work like a charm!”
Cayla: “…Les, time for another Christmas gift…FOR YOUR RIBS!!!”
Les: “OWWWWW! Lisa never did that to me! You just aren’t as good as Lisa, Cayla! Hmmph! I guess there WERE some children left behind!”
*Les waddles off…whimpering*
Les is going to read passages from LISA’S STORY to cheer them up.
Come on, Les. Roses in December isn’t going to write itself, you know.
I wonder if Lisa has a different video tape for every Christmas.
I think they might have let Corey back – unless he didn’t want to – which is a possiblity.
Is this a party of some sort of Mutual Suicide pact? It’s hard to tell the difference.
And happy last day of Zappadan to all.
First we had Kevin quitting Komix Korner and leaving DSH short-handed and now Les is proposing to pick up the spirits of an alcoholic and his wife… Will these shenanigans never cease?
Of course, if Les is saying that he will literally drive to the liquor store… actually, that might be funnier.
Yes! A December strip filled with misery, just like old times! A true Funky Winkerbean Christmas!
What a party! Smugface McGoateeboy and Crayola hosting Mike and Molly – whoops – the Wankerbeans. Laughs all around! Time to play Name That Cancer! And Montoni’s Wonderbread, ketchup, and Cheese Wiz “pizza” for all!
John, thank you for giving us “in the main” AND “Les waddles off!”
So somebody please explain why Funky and [insert fat blonde wife’s name here] are down in the dumps with Corky out of the house. Hasn’t he been a constant pain up their asses since Day One? Isn’t it a relief to have him be somebody else’s problem for a change?
Also, did you know in some ape communities, the body language of tilted head, raised eyebrow, and smirky sneer means, “Please punch me in the face as hard as you can RIGHT NOW.”?
Yikes! Who is that in the SoSF masthead? Is that Funky? Is there another time-shift coming? He looks older than Crankshaft. He looks older than his father…oh–
–I bet that’s it. It’s Funky’s dad, dragged out so that Funky can demonstrate his mastery of douche-baggery. Oh what a joyous Yule to look forward to.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/znMyb.gif[/img]
(click to embiggen)
Panel 1
TREE: I am the Tree of Infinite Blackness! I have come to remind Cayla of her ethnicity!
Panel 2
LES: Those stuffed effigies of “friends” are working out great!
Panel 3
ROUND-NOSED CAYLA UNIT: If you’re thinking of making a “Lisa,” you’ve got another thing coming! A shellacking, dig?
Yikes! Who is that in the SoSF masthead?
Old man dragged out to flay some more Alzheimer’s jokes, just like the last Alzheimer’s jokes he made when the character appeared.
There really is something wrong with TB when this is what he decides to focus on. Is there any reader of FW, unironic, disinterested or non-, who would see that a Christmas strip featured Funky’s dad and immediately say, in all seriousness, “OH GOODY!”
“HE’S BACK! HE’S BACK! WHAT MISCHIEF AND WONDERFUL WORDPLAY WILL THAT OLD SCAMP GET UP TO TODAY? I WAITED ALL MONTH FOR THIS!”
I mean, Jesus. There are a lot of characters TB has who I’d be interested in seeing FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN THEY’D BE DIFFERENT. And he can’t even measure up to that.
Yeah, I’ve never actually seen Kevin. It’d be nice to see him show up, say “Here’s a little something I owe you, hope I don’t come up short!” and then he kicks Dead Comicbook John down the street. Just so I’d have a reference point when Kevin shows back up for real and starts to tell sad stories about how awful his life is. While hating a Funky Winkerbean character is pretty much a reflex action now, I like to hate them knowledgeably instead of having to make a lot of assumptions.
And hey, that’d work wonders for Batiuk, because there’s a long and storied history of hilarity coming out of Little People (I can’t be the only person who finds this “PC moniker” every bit as problematic as “midget”, can I?) physically abusing others.
When Funky knees Les in the groin, it’s just one sad sack oaf abusing the other. When Kevin headbutts or sucker punches Les in the groin, it’s COMEDIC GOLD. EL BAGO!
If I were best friends with Les, I’d be “down in the dumps” too.
Funky’s going to have them watch a dvd of Ang Lee’s movie “The Ice Storm” and then suggest that its time they stopped being Westview middle aged boring and become swingers! Then Les hooks up with Holly and Funky does Cayla. Just for one night, for fun. To raise Funky and Holly’s spirits 🙂
I know how Les could cheer up Funky (besides leaving town, I mean). He could buy him a pair of mountain-climbing socks!
Please…. This whole damn strip is a Mayan Calendar Moment!!!
Remember when Bautik said the focus of Act 3 was to “pass the torch” to the old characters’ kids? Which meant that we might actually see them go through school hijinx, experience college, time training in hypothetical military service and how they’re dealing with it?
Yeah, me neither.