ximoK renroK

Today’s question isn’t quite as bizarre as yesterday’s, though the use of past perfect tense (why not just “Do you miss being a mailman?”) makes it a bit weird. I’m so sick of this arc that I’m reduced to picking on the grammatical construct. How about you guys and gals?

44 thoughts on “ximoK renroK”

  1. “I don’t miss being a mailman at all, John. In fact, I barely was one anyway! My wife is a little upset about my 98.5% cut in pay, but hey, screw her and those kids I never see! I am working in a comic book shop located above a pizza shop. (Sigh)…I’ve never been happier!”

    Neo-nazi dogs running around loose…Harry’s route must have taken him through that “bad part” of town the Fairgoods were cruising through a while back. The dogs were no doubt attracted by those overflowing trash cans they had over there.

    No one stretches a premise like our BatWrite does, but good God alive, he’s hammering home this “Harry will be OK thanks to comic books” premise to the point of pain. Just a relentlessly ponderous display of endlessly circling the drain. The really amazing thing about this whole “story” is how being forced to take a low-paying job at a creepy-ass comic book shop in the middle of nowhere turns out to be a GOOD thing for our lead character. FW is depressing even when it’s not trying to be.

  2. Not related to today’s exciting chapter specifically, but…

    Anybody who wants to see how all this SHOULD be done, should try out the Life With Archie comic series. You’ll notice some interesting similarities: there’s a 10-year time jump, the stories are a little darker than “normal” Archie, storylines address topics such as breast cancer, unemployment, gay marriage… but the glaring difference is that the “future Archie” series is well-written. It’s not Shakespeare — but everything Funky Winkerbean does wrong, this series does right.

    I plunk down my $3.99 each month, and I’m never sorry I did.

  3. Typical clunky dialog. Does Crazy really have to remind us we’re all at Komix Korner? Most Earthlings would simply say, “I love working here.”

    That’s all I’ve got for now too. Seems like about a month of this arc so far, and we’ve hit everything that’s ridiculous about it several times now. Do you suppose Batominc is trying to wear us down??

  6. I repeat my complaint of a couple days ago: John explicitly said this was just a temporary part-time fill-in placeholder job, meant only for the few days left before Christmas.

    That it’s depicted as completely satisfying Harry in every way perhaps shouldn’t surprise me, but it’s NOT GOING TO LAST.

    Stop pretending this is a heartwarming happy ending.

  7. Oh Blitzkrieg, if only you’d been a little better faster.

    Any bets on what type of haircut ReFlex76 has?

  9. Love the way Reflux76 takes up for Dead Skunk Head. Hey, even Charles Manson and Sirhan Sirhan had defense attorneys. If nothing else. I admire Reflux’s ability to look at DSH and not get weirded out. I know I can’t do that.

    BatPrick shows Johnboy from the back today, giving us the full effect of that trainwreck of a hairdo – in loving detail! I just can’t tell if the non-skunk part is shaved and we see the stubble, or if it’s short but gray, with the skunk part dyed black…? I mean, really, what’s going on there? But no matter how you slice it, nobody over the age of 13 should have that hairdo.

    Unless he’s trying to attract young boys.

    Which is why we hate Meatface John so much. If he were DSH, the electrician, or DSH, the accountant, that would be one thing. But here’s a guy with a “tweenager” hairdo running a comic store. What’s NOT creepy about that?

    Glad he turns YOU on at least, Reflux. Happy trolling, bud.

  11. The only thing this story arc is missing at this point is a smirking Less. Any chance he’ll pop into the store tomorrow?

  12. Sorry Reflex76, he didn’t earn the tag, he IS the tag. Do you really not see why? It’s like looking at Donald Trump’s hair for cripes sake. And really TB, we always knew you visited this site regularly, but that is what you find most objectionable about the comments? We routinely rip this ‘comic’ for its shoddy writing, implausible premises, and inconsistent time frames, yet you are most concerned, apparently, about a clever and accurate description of a character’s ridiculous hair style. Sounds about right.

  13. Since “Dead Skunk Head” is apparently an inappropriate moniker for John, I propose the following alternate nicknames based on his current hairstyle:

    ~Drowned Cat Head
    ~Electrocuted Gerbil Head
    ~Goth Tribble Head
    ~Drain Clog Head

    Also, Batiuk can now cross “dog chasing mailman” off his life list of Overused and Probably Outdated Comedic Gags.

  14. Dear Acid Reflux 76:

    Please look at this post, for instance. Whether a non-ironic fan or Batiuk himself, you’ll find it enlightening to see what a real comic book shop looks like.

  15. This strip is particularly depressing because it reminds me that, when the inevitable nuclear apocolypse comes, DSH and Crazy will be the only survivors. Who else spends all of their daylight hours in already in a fallout shelter?

    And lest Reflex76 think that this whole “Dead Skunk Head” thing is a recent FW-specific invention of the bully jocks…
    About 10 years ago, an Indycar driver named Kenny Brack spiked out his blond hair kinda like John’s and dyed a black streak through it. Fans, fellow drivers, and even his racing team’s owner compared the haircut to a skunk (both live and dead).
    If you have hair that reminds people of a skunk, they’re going to note it. Had John kept the ponytail he had in Act II, he’d have earned a different nickname.

  16. Oh look, “Dead Skunk Head” tag again.

    Oh look, the troll’s back. Let me break it down for you, Antonio. It’s a category, not a tag (I don’t understand the difference either; it’s a WordPress thing). There are 45 posts categorized “Dead Skunk Head”, so whatever it is you find upsetting about this term, you’re a little late to the party.

    I’m sure John did something to keep earning it.

    Yeah. Look at his head. That’s not a little gray around the temples. Whoever styles his hair painstakingly cuts and colors it to get that effect. It’s ratty, spiky, and black and gray, and resembles a dead skunk.

    Sorry Reflex76, he didn’t earn the tag, he IS the tag.

    Interestingly, the reason for the separate “Dead Skunk Head” category (in addition to the category “John” is that there is (or was) one other guy in Westview with that weird two-tone hair. But we haven’t seen him in oh, 64 days. Find something else to whine about, buddy, this is strike two.

  17. Of all the things in FW we snark, Reflex76 is taking offense to Dead Skunk Head? Seriously? Dude must be new to trolling.

  18. Ah, welcome back, ReFlex76! “I’m sure John did something to keep earning it.” This reminds me of that old Saturday Night Live “Big Red” commercial:

    “He’s big big big. And he’s red red red. And that’s how he earned the name Big Red!”

  19. TFH, please don’t ban ReFlex until s/he’s had a chance to explain why calling John “Dead Skunk Head” offends her/him so (traumatic childhood memory of Sniffy getting caught under the mower blades?).

  20. DSH: You’ve been here a few hours now, Harry. Do you miss your old life?

    Harry: My… old… life? Oh! You mean… in the before time! There were… dogs. Italian dogs named Finito and Binito stole my pizza! A German dog named Göbbels bit me! I love working here at the Komix Korner! Except… Those K’s… they remind me of Göbbels!

  21. For a brief time in college i decided to bleach a front-to-back stripe in my naturally dark hair. To no one’s surprise, several years later i was still known as “the skunk-head guy.” Somehow i did not perceive this as bullying in the classic or modern definition.

    If this interminable storyline ever concludes all i will remember from it is yesterday’s Bell’s palsy strip (thx WH) and ReFlex76, who as TFH points out appears to be a “Geek/Nerd, Future Teacher, History/Military Buff, Baseball Fan, been around much of the world (starting in Peru), bit of a hoarder . . . and cats!” Well, i guess Batiuk still has one non-ironic fan left.

  22. I think maybe we’ve got it wrong. I think that Reflex76 is not a FW fan, but rather is a skunk lover who finds offense in the “dead skunk head” tag because it is an insult to skunks.

  25. I don’t care for Dead Skunk Head, preferring Gross John instead, because “Dead Skunk Head” is a cumbersome phrase. And in so using a cumbersome phrase, it sounds as if you’re trying too hard to label him in a negative fashion. It’s not dismissive enough. He’s gross; everything about him is gross. So he’s Gross John. Works for me.

    Just wanted to clear that up so no one would accuse me of using a different name because I found Dead Skunk Head too mean or bullying or beyond the pale or anything.

    Anyway, four weeks of Crazy Harry and his stupid problems because he’s stupid. Sheesh. Apparently you can get blood from a stone.

  26. Okay, I admit it. I first called him Seaweed Head, since I vacation at the ocean. I’d that offensive too, Reflux?

    Funny how Reflux bravely drops these little squirrel turds then scurries away. Would love to have him stick around long enough to engage us and explain why his nuts are in a knot. But that would require ability to think and to write. He clearly can’t deliver. Aw, too bad.

  29. Yeah, ironic, in the sense that i (we?) approve of his coming back, but disapprove of just having the same lame comment.

    My views on the proper nickname for DSH remain the same.[img]http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/140/462/cake-pedobear.jpg[/img]

  30. The “likes” for Reflux were for the humor value of his dullwittedness. Whether he’s truly upset about DSH or just pretending to be, I think taking up for DSH is kinda funny. Sort of like being a rabid fan of the Cleveland Browns.

  32. And from the Sports Desk this just in:

    Kent State womens basketball team lost to St. Bonaventure yesterday 79-42.
    Makes them 1-9 on the season.
    Time to call up the Freshman team?

  33. I’m not fathoming the DSH complaint either. Of all the FW “sacred cows” we routinely slaughter here, why would THAT hurt anyone’s feelings? DSH John is, at best, a third-rate FW character and a being third-rate FW character is like getting an acting credit for “doorman” in that “Liz & Dick” TV movie. He’s squarely in that “who cares?” part of the curve, along with Tony, Rachel, Jinx, Jessica and so forth.

    Now if, for example, the Les Moore fan was complaining, I’d understand.

  35. I notice you have a category for Les’s Yellow Shirt, but you don’t have one for his blue shirt. This obviously reflects a deep sense of personal inadequacy, you fat, old football-playing bastard.

    Looking back at my last comment, I’m stunned that we’ve spent four weeks on the Crazy Harry pity party, when this drama offered an opportunity to show how this circumstance could very badly affect someone who is genuinely blameless. I’m talking, of course, about Maddie.

    If I were a college freshman just finishing up my first semester, and my dad lost his job, I’d be crapping my pants. I’d be crapping them even more if my father was a total no-account loser who undoubtedly wasn’t going to be able to get a comparable job anytime in the near future, even if he wanted to. That’s something that could change the entire course of my future for the worse, and unlike Crazy Harry’s situation, it’s completely not my fault. It’s not my fault my father’s a worthless deadbeat.

    And then we could see some character growth as Maddie realizes that she can’t go through life as a irresponsible loafer, lest she end up just like her father: 50, unemployed, no job prospects and so feckless that he immediately has to sell off his most prized possessions when he loses his income.

    The more I think of that strip where Crazy objects to working for UPS and FedEx, when he has a daughter in college, because they’ll actually make him work, the more offensive it becomes. And TB is completely oblivious to that. That could be real drama. He could even have Les come in and indicate that Faulkner was right: You can’t shirk all things. (Oh, who am I kidding? Les has only read the Cliff’s Notes versions of Melville and, of course, Shakespeare)

    But that would be about Maddie, and as TB demonstrates, he’d rather spend four weeks meandering and coasting through Crazy’s pity party than spend any time with a third generation character not named Summer.

  36. “Okay, I admit it. I first called him Seaweed Head, since I vacation at the ocean. I’d that offensive too, Reflux?”

    Which, I’m sure, he’s also earned in your eyes.

    “Funny how Reflux bravely drops these little squirrel turds then scurries away. Would love to have him stick around long enough to engage us and explain why his nuts are in a knot. But that would require ability to think and to write. He clearly can’t deliver. Aw, too bad.”

    I’d love to stick around, but TFH’s already put me at “strike 2.”

    TFH sez: “Strike 3” came when ReFlex76 went on to post a string of petty rebukes that he did not even bother to format using blockquote or italics tags. These posts have been trashed and ReFlex76 has become only the second poster to be banned here in 2 1/2 years. So long, dipshit.

  37. [John’s] squarely in that “who cares?” part of the curve, along with Tony, Rachel, Jinx, Jessica and so forth.

    I must needs disagree with ya, Epicus. IMHO, DSH John is firmly ensconced in the second tier of players. He starred in the whole Comics on Trial prestige arc that garnered TB the admiration of so many comcis fanboys, and had week long arcs serving as TB’s mouthpiece, defending video games as well as comical books against those dumb ol’ grownups.

  38. The reason ReFlex76 got six votes–that was Tom Batiuk, changing his IP and voting up multiple times. Nothing to see here, folks, move on.

  39. TFHackett: I can see that, but really, the difference between second and third in this case ain’t much, right? Glad to see this reflex76 guy go, though. It might be fun to hear from a “real” FW fan every so often but hopefully if and when that happens they bother to be coherent.

  40. He was giving me a headache. Let’s move on! Friday’s post is up, comic and all, just in case the Mayans were right, speaking of which, take it away, Cayla…

  41. Ah, Reflux, we hardly knew ye. Well, you have to be a First Class Fuckup for TFH to kick your ass outta here. MOST trolls would be kept on board for their idiot humor value. Guess we’ll have to catch you over on the Commie Kingdumb site, numbnuts.

    Pookster – This just in: Cindy Summers is now embedded with the K*nt State girls basketball team. Hey, K*nt State, the Cleveland Browns just called to say you REALLY, REALLY suck. Guess now we know why BatSuck shitcanned all the college basketball we all know he wrote.

  42. I’m pretty sure any “up” votes on the 10:25 post are supporting TFH’s banning this douche. I wouldn’t mind a little variety of opinion but yeesh–Good call.

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