Dear readers,
I have to put SoSF on autopilot for the next week or so as I am dealing with a family crisis and will be away from the computer. I’m just scheduling placeholder posts for the week so you’ll have a place for snark. Thanks, and catch up with you soon. —TFH
I have to put SoSF on autopilot for the next week or so as I am dealing with a family crisis and will be away from the computer. I’m just scheduling placeholder posts for the week so you’ll have a place for snark. Thanks, and catch up with you soon. —TFH
Son of Stuck Funky 
TB is trying to be a “Spinmaster” if he thinks we will ever believe Funky can even walk onto a tennis court.
January 2, 2013
Kent State Ends Non-Conference Play With 73-55 Win Over Bethune-Kent State (2-11) started the year off right, beating Bethune-Cookman (5-7) 73-55 in front of a home crowd Wednesday night.
Okay… who the Frock is Bethune-Cookman?
I hope everything works out for you. Family comes first so come back when you can. Until then we’ll keep the snark alive.
Bethune-Cookman I think is a historically black college, many of which seem to field atrocious Division 1 teams. So a cupcake for a dynasty like KSU.
How does one spin for serve? Do you twirl the racket and watch it point one way or another? How would lead in the handle allow you to win the spin and serve first? Who would bother to cheat over serving first at the wheezing level of play Funky and Batiuk would attempt?
Sorry to hear that TFH, hope you’re able to return soon!
They sure do have oddly-specific gift certificates there in Westview. Must be one of those weird regional Ohio things again.
Check out how the rather dweebish sales clerk suddenly morphs into a sinister, wickedly diabolical psycho there in the last panel. The really disturbing thing about it is how Funky is smiling at the guy, either because he likes the idea of cheating, he likes lunatics or both. As usual with FW, there’s no real way to know for sure but it’s pretty creepy either way.
Pookster: Bethune-Cookman, Daytona Beach FL, alma mater of former Miami Dolphins guard (and Hall Of Famer) Larry Little. I remember it from his old football card.
TFH, I hope things work out for your family in the best way possible. We snarkers will be pulling for you and your family.
Anyway, the “spin for serve” concept sounds more like a ping-pong thing than a tennis thing. Keep in mind, though, I’m of Scottish decent, and the good folks at Monty Python have pointed out quite clearly how awful my people are at tennis.
B-CU has a solid football team (MEAC champs this year), but the women’s hoops team must not be that good to lose to Summer and Keisha (who inexplicably sit on the bleachers in modern hoops arenas).
But getting to the strip at hand, is Funky shopping at the Rod Laver Wood Only Racquet Emporium? Also, a weighted racket would certainly be a disadvantage once play starts, wouldn’t it? I never keep score in tennis since I think love should only be used when you really mean it.
TFH, hope it all works out.
TFH–Please accept my hope and prayers that your family crisis will be resolved in full favor. Whatever you are facing, Funky Winkerbean is so low in importance that it barely shows up in anything that measures importance.
You are important. FW is not.
Sorry to hear that, TFH. Take all the time you need. I hope things go well.
Yes, Sorry to hear of your troubles, T. Hope and pray it works out in your favor.
As for FW, Funkers has been had. Cheaters never prosper, and Finky looks positively gleeful at the prospect of loaded dice when spinning for serve, when there is no physical way such weighting can make the handle point to Funkers every time, i.e., Funkers is stupid. However, the lead weight will serve it’s ultimate purpose in due course when Ms. Holly flogs Funky senseless with the Spinmeister the next time he coaxes her onto the bathroom scale.
With you if you need us, TFH…
Do what you have to do. Hope everything works out okay.
Strip will continue to suck unabated while you’re gone.
Sorry to hear that, TFH. Take all the time you need, FW won’t be any better or worse when you get back.
Never seen a sporting goods store lit in Creepy Blue Twilight before, but perhaps it’s meant to signify the morally twilit world of tennis hustling.
So TB knows as much about modern tennis rackets as he does other modern technology. WOODEN rackets? This isn’t 1973. Maybe they come from the same Soviet Bloc era factory as the cars in Westview.
Would be cool if Funktard’s new weighted racquet caused a weird arm injury resulting in amputation. Then Funkwad and Becky could go into business together as paper hangers. Not sure how much money they’d make, but at least we know they’d be “busy.”
Beanie,
Let it be the opposite arm as Becky, then they could be like Siamese twins.
Best of luck TFH, FW will (unfortunately) still be here when you get back.
Nothing to say about today’s strip that hasn’t already been said. Just another strained attempt at a lame joke. At least there’s no Les/Cayla/Lisa/Crazy/DSH/comics references, so that’s the best we can ask for.
“Spin for serve,” from the USTA website:
“Players will spin the racquet and call ‘up’ or ‘down’ (using the logo on the butt cap of the racquet as the guide) when they walk on court. Whichever player wins the toss may elect to:
1. Serve or receive serve first
2. Select which side to begin on
3. Or… defer the initial decision to his/her opponent.”
I think that, back in the days before metal rackets, they used to call “rough or smooth” (presumably, one side of the racket was smoother than the other).
TFH – Take care of family first and all else will take care of itself.
@Helskor, How I wish that was true, but I doubt anything will halt or even slow the plummet down the bottomless pit of misery TB seems determined to find the bottom of.
TFH: My hopes and prayers go out to you and your family.
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As far as today’s strip goes, I’m betting now that this is one of those things that won’t be referred to again for at least seven months, then we’ll have a batch of “HAR-HAR, FUNKY IZ PLAYING TENNIS” cartoons randomly dropped in the middle of another arc.
TF, you are in our thoughts and prayers! We’ll keep the snark fires burning for you.
Duane sez: Beanie,
Let it be the opposite arm as Becky, then they could be like Siamese twins.
Yeah, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumpy.
Coming next: Funktard buys a racquet and spends two weeks trying to come up with a name for it. Corey mysteriously returns home from the Army for one day midweek to admire the new racquet, and is sporting his shaggy rooster hairdo again. (Spoiler alert: Funkwit names his new racquet “Wilson.”)
Good thoughts and prayers for you and yours, TFH. We’ll be here when you come back.
Does anyone get a gift certificate for a specific item? In my family we either just a) give that item as a gift or b) take the recipient along with us to chose what they want and pay for it. But either of those options might have involved more than thirty seconds’ time or effort on Holly’s part.
It’s possible that Tom forgot the difference between “gift certificate” and “discount coupon”…possible, but not likely. It’s more likely that he just doesn’t care, and Funky was the next name he pulled out of the fishbowl, with “sports hijinx” pulled out of Funky’s hat. (The slip having fluttered in one afternoon by mistake.)
Just more filler until Lisa’s Story Part 3: Blood From a Stone is ready.
Echoing others’ sentiments – putting the Hackett clan on my list of prayer intentions.
How awesome would it be if the next storyline was “Lisa’s Story III: The Zombie Uprising”?
No, that’s too good to be true.
Thoughts and prayers for you and yours TFH.
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We ever see Holley ever play Tennis?
TFH: would just like to add my two cents in sending positive thoughts and prayers to you and your family.