Flat Line

I liken today’s joke (if it exists at all) to a tiny object that someone wants to safely ship over a great distance via parcel post. The sender acquires a large and sturdy box, and places the object in it, and for protection, surrounds the tiny object with styrofoam peanuts, excelsior, and wadded-up pages from the Plain Dealer. Then the sender seals the box shut with reinforced tape, and brings it to the post office to send it on its way. The parcel is delivered, and the recipient cuts open the tape, pries open the box, and has to rummage through the worthless filler material in search of the contents. Finally his fingers grasp what must be the tiny object. He pulls it from its packaging, holds it up and inspects it, and wonders aloud, “This is it?”

Really, a lot of these strips can be compared to that mystery box. The joke contained therein (“liquid sound“?) is so small, weak and obscure that it’s almost impossible to identify. Who rates hotels on a musical scale, and why is “B flat” apparently mediocre? Many marching band instruments are pitched in B♭.

And finally, when is Funky going to take off that fake beard?

 

20 thoughts on “Flat Line”

  1. Based on the strange details, this week’s strips all feature real people TB met at a prior music educator’s convention. I recall reading about the surge in business for hookers and strippers when a political convention comes to town, this would be the opposite of that.

  2. I’d really like to see Dinkle “b-flattened” by a passing truck, locomotive or asteroid before he gets the chance to crack yet another stupendously terrible “joke”, but since it’s only Thursday I don’t think the worst of it is over just yet. My God, these jokes have been so, so bad. An intentionally awful joke or a really bad pun can be funny if used every once in a while, but Tom, dude, not every f*cking day, man. Whatever his (ahem) “editor” gets paid, it’s way. way too much.

  3. Gettin’ a real Dick Cheney vibe from (supposedly the not crazy) Harry today.

    As for the joke, well, yeah. Do references to musical notes get funnier than B-flat? I think not.

    Now, on Monday, we’ll be introduced to a new, fresh hell, right? It will be a new hell. Right? Please?

  4. Is that Funky wearing a fake beard? The face, girth, and resigned bemusement all match.

    And is this the first indication that this convention is taking place outside of Westview? John made it sound like he was “batching it” just for that one night and Becky might be home before dawn, but now we find out that Harry has a hotel room (of course, that could just be at an hourly rate for a private flute lesson with Becky).

  5. Funky loves his beard. Aside from making him look distinguished, it lets him lick the excess booze out when he’s feeling down.

    Trust me, it’s the only thing getting him through this conversation.

  7. Clunky dialog alert! “How’s your room in the hotel?” Really? “How’s your hotel room?” There. No charge.

    I’ve been a musician since elementary school. Never EVER heard of anything being compared to a musical note. Aside from that, musicians don’t put goofy, lame musical puns in their casual conversation. Really, BatDreck needs to get out of his mom’s attic now and then.

    Praying that Beardo McSloppy suggests these three idiots go out for spaghetti.

  8. I think the guy the light blue sweater got his dates screwed up. The anorexic’s recovery meeting is next week.

  9. I *think* Tom is playing on the British use of the word “flat” for “apartment.” With the B of course referring to its secondary status. But he decided to tack on the word hotel because, really, it’s NOT an apartment and he didn’t trust us Americans to get it if he just said “It’s a B flat.”

    Possibly I am overthinking this.

  10. I too have been into music since childhood, and today’s strip baffles me. Why would anyone base their ranking system on pitch? Pitch is pitch–the only thing that makes one note better than another is when it’s the note you need to be playing at that very moment. You can subjectively rank pieces of music, but pitch? It’s like trying to say the black Lego is better than the red Lego.

  11. Dolly: Hmm, I think that makes sense. Insofar as “clunky and badly worded punchline hinging on a phrase that’s almost never used in the speaker’s specific dialect” can make sense, anyway.

  12. How could TB miss the obvious joke, “It’s just a mezzo forte hotel”?

    As far as jokes with actual punchlines go…
    Why did the musician not try to take his date back to his place?
    Because it was just a little flat.

  13. I think it’s kind of pathetic that a boring old man with nothing to offer keeps foisting himself on others in an attempt to remain “relevant.”

    What? Harry Dinkle? No, no, I was talking about Tom Batiuk.

  14. @Dolly Llama: I pray that you’re right. It’s comforting knowing Batuik was aiming for something, rather than just dribbling all over the page.

  15. “How’s your ROOM in the HOTEL?”

    “….um, it’s okay, but the CARPET on the FLOOR looks like dried puke.”

    “….*….”

    “…sort of the same shade as that weird GROWTH on your EARLOBE, come to think of it.”

    “Beard-O! Dinkle is making fun of me with his PHRASES he is TURNING!”

    “…huh? Oh, um, once my band got SNOW inside their cases while a hurricane…while…hail….*….uh, sorry, wasn’t paying attention.”

  17. “How’s your room in the hotel?”

    That’s it, I’m totally reading all these lines, for as long as the stupid band convention goes, as awkward sexual propositions that the other guys are too dense to get.

    It will be very amusing when one old withered guy propositions a fat bloated guy, gets ignored, and that fat bloated guy unsuccessfully propositions him the very next sentence!

  18. Dolly Llama: Interesting theory but I do think you’re giving him way too much credit here. FW is simply not that clever. I have to believe it was an attempt at a B-minus joke, because B flat is “lower” than a B. I know how stupid that is but it’s the way FW rolls.

  19. Well, Charles, ya have to wonder. Seemingly out of the blue, Stinkle tells us he didn’t come here to spend all day in his room. Fat, sloppy, Beardie McBirdsnest looks like he’s a bit put off as he wryly adds, “Exactly.” Could it be that Harry D and this fat old bearded queen were gittin’ down in Dinkle’s “room in the hotel ,” and after a time (well, maybe a few times, anyway), Harry wanted to get out and about while Fuzzface wanted to linger and cuddle.

    Seems some feelings were hurt.

    But now you know why Dinkle still comes to these little getaways.

  20. …and if you look at Dinkle’s “O Face” in the SoSF logo panel, iy becomes clear what’s happening off camera, below the frame.

    Eww.

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