Forget Batiuk’s Quarter Inch, we are in Bizarro World. Jess and Darin, who clearly don’t have a pot to piss in, are actually apologetic to Ann for their having conceived a child. “Eight Track”, meanwhile, is not merely pleased: she’s insane with glee at the prospect, declaring herself “totally ready” to help care for an infant…though you’d think she’d have her hands full, having already appointed herself as Fred’s speech therapist.
32 thoughts on “Burden o' Joy”
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Son of Stuck Funky 
aww,why the long face Darrin? oh wait u came out that way
After ten years of giving no such indication of wanting anything to do with a baby? Yeah, I guess that’s kind of a surprise, if you’re the easily surprised type. Will such news interfere with one’s pacemaker or other medical dilemmas? Um, let’s not get too full of ourselves, guys. I’m totally ready, too, Ann — for today’s punchline, that is. Where is it, by the way? Is this storyline even going anywhere? I hope we’re not in for a 9-month arc of just talking about a future baby in a roundabout way.
“Why no, it’ll be no trouble at all! Fred’s stroke has really freed up a lot of time for me, in fact I actually prefer him this way! After I wheel him over to the window for his twelve hour staring session, my day is pretty much open!”
This one is pretty non-offensive IMO. It might have even elicited a weak, silent chuckle if I or anyone else actually cared about any of these increasingly annoying characters. Too bad no one does. And the endless, wildly out of control smirking this week isn’t helping, either.
Re: Jessica’s hair…no wonder he draws all the female characters with short hair. She’s like a prom picture from 1986.
Jess: “I know our having a baby is kind of a surprise. I mean, ME, have sex with THIS goofball? Yeesh, the very thought makes my gorge rise.”
Darin: “I hope it isn’t too much of a shock when I take my budding pizza app empire and LEAVE you, you dirty, rotten, worthless documentary making shr-”
Ann: “MUPPET MOUTH!!!”
Jess: “….”
Darin: “….”
Ann: “Muppet Mouth Muppet Mouth Muppet Mouth!”
************************************
Only in Westview do adult children feel that telling their parents the first grandchild is on the way is something shameful and taxing.
Ann’s expression is less “overjoyed at the prospect of becoming a grandmother” and more “Joker’s latest victim.”
For some reason, I can’t see the actual strip on Comics Kingdom. Are they getting embarrassed?
I’m pretty certain Fred’s already buried in the back yard.
Comics Kingdom is now moderating comments for Tom Batyuck’s daily helping of steaming, self-important shit. He really is just as smug and thin-skinned as his wimpy alter ego, Less Moore.
“I know our having a baby….” Yep, that’s what BatCrap calls “writing”. Rub yourself out another self-awarded Pulitzer, Tommy.
That cross-eyed, white-haired crone in the second panel scares the hell out of me. You people keep calling her “Ann” but, seriously, who is she supposed to be?
The 2nd panel expression really calls for something different in panel 3. With your indulgence…
Two of this future child’s grandparents were killed off by Tom Batiuk (and another one is damn close). Both of them were subjects of Les Moore books, too. It not really meaningful in any way, but it is a good example of how amazingly f*cked-up the Funkyverse truly is, isn’t it?
Darin: “I hope it isn’t too much..since we are going to have to move in with you and borrow money.”
Thank you, TFH, for not incorporating panel 2 into your banner. I’d have to stop coming here.
I just figured out the ultimate way Batiuk could do this story to get as many awards (in his own mind) as possible.
-It is revealed that the child may be line to have Tay-Sachs disease. Handling a disease that is lesser known than going down the typical Downs Syndrome or Autism route, would get him some points.
-Since Tay-Sachs is usually associated with Jews so why not have one of Jess’ relatives be a Holocaust survivor (who hid her identity and converted to Christianity when moving to America)? That way Batiuk can score points for handling such serious subject matter.
-Have Darian’s birth father come back and have him reveal that he saw Jess with a Mexican guy shortly before she got pregnant. This turns out to be true though she was drunk at the time. More misery!
-Darian stays with her though their relationship will forever be plagued with that aura of infidelity. Even more misery!
-The child is the other guy’s, but he’s been deported (something for Batiuk to tackle). And the kid is 3 months pre-mature, Jess dies in labor and the kid croaks shortly after.
Kind of a surprise, not only did my boyfriend lie about being in Hollywood but he also lied about having a vasectomy.
Fishstick is, like, TOTALLY ready! Been changing Fred’s diaper for months, so she’s TOTALLY in practice.
So I reckon the Smirkingtons, who sponged off of Goatee Boy for a couple years, then moved to that grease pit above Montoni’s, will now be moving in with Fishstick and Oatmealbrain. BOXCAR!! Are these supposed to be likeable characters? Seem more like a couple empty headed thirty-something slackers with no burning need to earn a living.
Fortunately, they fit BatDreck’s model of letting society and the gummint take care of the lazy and unproductive.
… and now I cannot unsee panel 2 as the world’s worst fanart of Barbara Gordon from Batman Beyond.
I mean, I know that’s mostly my fault, but still…
Okay? So are we gonna learn more about the further machinations of Beery O’Wifebeater? You know the ominous, mysterious beer drinking guy introduced last week? Remember him, Tommy? The guy who may or may not be Frankie the Rapist?
Foreshadowing??….does that ring a bell, Tommy? Did you take any literary classes at all Mr. Batiuk???
Interesting that comments are being moderated over on Comics Kingdom.
I know Ann has this crazed look on her face, but what’s up with Darin in Panel Three? That’s what bothers me the most.
I rarely read the comments over at CK, but the “positive” ones are all “If you hate this strip so much, stop reading it.”
I wonder if their grandparents said the same thing about Edward D. Wood, Jr?
“If you hate his movies so much, don’t go to see them! Only Ed Wood tackles such modern topics as grave-robbing, the threat of Solarmanite bombs, and our government covering up space aliens! You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!”
“I am totally ready for a grandchild – just let me toss Fred out of the upstairs window and we can get on with planning the baby shower.”
“If you hate this strip so much, stop reading it.” – in the Funkyverse this is considered high praise.
I hate cars, but I still have to get places. Such is Funky Winkerbean.
the JPuzzleWhiz comments on the Comics Kingdom site are entertaining me today. It’s gold, Jerry, gold!
Annie Fishsticks could have used her retirement (even with her caregiving duties) to finally, at long last, direct her energies to fulfilling her dream of being a writer, a dream that her loveless marriage stifled and suppressed. But now she enthusiastically embraces the idea of changing more diapers.
It’s not the Universe making these people miserable. They’re just deliberately miserable.
But we all know they’re not actually being deliberately miserable. They’re just inadvertently portrayed that way. Their author just never follows a story line to its logical conclusion, and expects his readers to forget about plot elements, because he’s going to ignore them for years, then tortuously retcon them until they’re unrecognizable.
This HAS to be Tom Batiuk:
“I agree with the previous poster; if you dislike TB so much, then please, go elsehere for your self-absorbed, childish negativity whose only method of feeding is trollish behavior that belongs in a farmhouse with the rest of the hogs. This strip is drawn and inked no better than others. We read it because we enjoy it and we enjoy Tom Batiuk’s ability to tackle the tougher issues that’s not seen in modern day daily strips. Grow up you silly children.”
“This strip is drawn and inked no better than others”…coincidentally, it’s THIS pithy phrase that will be engraved on Tom’s headstone, some years from now.
When I try to explain why FW/TB snarking is such Good Clean Christian Fun, I try first to ask if the other person knows Mystery Science Theater 3000. Failing that, I explain that if the strip were just mediocre or bad, it would probably be ignored. But it’s so monumentally godawful, ripping on it is sheer joy. Even at that, if the cartoonist weren’t such a prissy little pompous load, it would draw much less snarkage. Think of it as a perfect storm of derision.
Also, what are the chances these two foambrains just got tired of going around smelling like garlic and grease and wanted a new (free) place to live? So they cooked up this plot to tell Fishsticks that Jenifer (or whatever the fug her name is) is pregnant, knowing Fishy would immediately clear out room for them.
Then Thanksgiving rolls around, Annie “orders” that jumbo turkey, and Jasmine still isn’t even showing! But nobody says a word, because Fishsticks, Mr and Mrs Dickweed, AND BatYurch have all long since forgotten about this whole pregnancy thing.
@Beckoning: MatrixViking has to be Batiuk. Only a self-centered pompous ass who fancies himself an intellectual would write something like that.
Here’s the funny thing about those allegedly “pro-FW” comments: they’re bullshit. FW doesn’t really “tackle” issues. It presents a PREMISE that’s BASED on an “issue”, then it re-hashes that premise for four or five days before burying it under bad puns and awful wordplay and/or forgetting about it completely. It’s the same thing every time and anyone who’s read the strip for any length of time knows it. While it may be true that “a lot” of other comic strips wouldn’t even try to use some of the premises FW does, the notion that these issues are “tackled” or “addressed” is nonsense. In fact, one could argue that these “real life issues” are no more than a smokescreen, used to draw attention away from the fact that there’s no “story” to be had.
The SSC arc from 2012 is (just one) great example. The SSC was introduced, then forgotten completely as the arc itself became the story of Becky and her meddlesome mom, followed by Principal Nate reading from the school handbook. What happened to the SSC? Who knows? They only existed to gain some easy attention, then they were dispatched with quickly as the arc became the usual FW fare. And EVERY arc is just like that too, for example this current one. “Jessica is pregnant”…and? The answer is “and nothing, that’s it”. “Fred had a stroke”, “Derwin has a sister”, “Summer went to college”…all premises, not so much “stories”, as things usually happen in an actual story.
Epicus, mind if I copy that criticism? I doubt the site will let me post it, but it’ll be interesting to try.