Tom Batiuk: If you could see my drawing board now. I’ve got a project that’s going to come up starting the end of the year and it’s really cool…Cory is in Afghanistan and [Holly’s] looking to complete his comic book collection…So she’s going to complete his collection of Starbuck Jones comics…I have seven covers that I’ve had guys create for me and it’s such a kick.
Tom Batiuk Talks ‘Funky Winkerbean’, comicbookresources.com, Mar 19, 2013
Too bad Batiuk didn’t bring in a pro to create a cover for Les’ first book: it looks more like the cover of a book report by a fourth-grader.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Panel 3 Les is especially smug & punchable.
Ebay would imply that someone had to buy them first, right? I think Les is overstating his accomplishments.
So it WAS published, eh? That’s one lingering FW mystery “solved”…sort of. Now for a new FW mystery: am I to believe that Jessica never asked about, noticed or asked to borrow “Fallen Star” (chortle) during the year-plus she was LIVING in the author’s home? That is not merely a stupid plot oversight, it’s so glaringly idiotic it’s hard to believe. Seriously now BatHead, I know you assume your regular readers have the memory of a goldfish cracker, but come on.
So Les was selling copies of a book no one’s ever heard of on “Ebay” (registered trademark there by the way, Tom)? I guess he hadn’t yet mastered the art of the book launch-tour back at that point. Look at him sitting there all smugly in his college sweatshirt, like some sort of white, bearded, unfunny and annoying Cliff Huxtable. What a dick. And yeah, that book cover is embarrassing…small wonder no one bought it.
I’m pretty sure the publishing date was way before the launch of ebay, but cannot muster enough interest to check. As noted above, if Jess hadn’t bothered to read the only source material in existence about her father, John Darling, until now then this may be the stupidest couple in fictitious Batiuk world.
Also, didn’t Les get to take his first victory book tour after publishing this steaming pile? I thought he was an old hand at book PR by the time Lisa’s Story hit the clearance bin.
Wasn’t John Darling a bit of a dick in-universe? Although little info exists, it sure seems that way.
Bag Lady Agent didn’t give Les his lost JD manuscript until after Lisa story was published… ZERO continuity.
And Jessica never read/own/borrowed a copy of the book written about her Dad John Darling.
Maximus Lameness
Yep, really, Jessica. I’ll stop speaking in subtext: No one in the world gives a shit about your father.
If the punchline had been “There are plenty of copies, but that’s the only one with a cover,” I would have found it somewhat amusing. Plus, it would have given me a small impression that Batiuk has the slightest idea concerning what he’s writing about.
But then I look and the stupid thing’s a hardcover. Sheesh, what an egomaniac.
Oh well, now that Les is on the scene, let’s see if he lasts another six days and turns my prediction true.
Fourth-grade book report sums it up nicely, Tom.
You would think that if “Lisa’s Story” was such a hit, so much that Hollywood came panting to Westview for the movie rights, that the resulting publicity would provoke renewed interest in the book — no? I mean, fricky-frick-frick, (Oh, how I miss Scrubs!), at the bare minimum, you’d think on the back of “Lisa’s Story” this sentence would appear: “The author of Lisa’s Story is a high school English Lit teacher, whose previous book was “Fallen Star”, an account of newscaster John Darling’s murder.” BatStupid really is clueless about books, Hollywood, or anything else for that matter.
Cory’s in Afghanistan… and the plot he gets out of that is Holly collecting comics? I guess I can see kind of an idea there, with her doing a symbolic good deed for an absent loved one. Cute, but FW doesn’t do cute. It’s just another way to bring it all back to comic books.
Cory doesn’t even strike me as the kind of kid who reads comics.
I’m not sure what Jessica is looking to find out about her father that she can’t find on Wikipedia.
Wikipedia would inform her that Batiuk killed her father over a rights dispute. He’d rather she not find out.
So Les used a David Spade joke about Eddie Murphy as his book title? God, the sight of Les decked upon his royal Barco-lounger is especially nauseating today. “Straight to eBay…” “Straight to cellphone…” Batiuk’s got everything going straight around here except for the storyline. Notice the Act II Les on the back cover of his book, which, according to whatever warped timeline this strip exists in, means he most likely had the book published before eBay came into existence (1995 in our timeline). I’m tempted to go to eBay’s Wikipedia entry and edit “Hardcover copies of Fallen Star by Les Moore” onto the Prohibited or restricted items list, just to see if anyone notices or objects.
Well…I’m going to give Batiuk a pass on this one. I think the cover looks like something a fourth-grader would do, because a fourth-grader DID do it. It was probably an art class project by Summer. “Look Daddy! I made you a book cover!”
If that’s the case, it would be uh, well, fatherly of Les to use the cover. Given his worship of Summer, I’d expect no less. Even then, it’s the only nice thing Les has done in his entire life. (IF this is the story. Otherwise, yeah, what a terrible cover.)
A funny joke would be if the book was called “Good Riddance: The Murder of John Darling.”
Cory in Afghanistan at the end of the year…but isn’t President Obama planning on starting to withdraw troops next year??? This is especially idiotic when you consider that these strips are supposed to take place in the future!!!!
So apparently in this warped timeline the Afghanistan War never ended, cancer has become a epidemic plague and made-for-TV movies get nominated for Oscars.
Are we given any reason that a book about an ordinary woman’s not-very-uncomon illness is a best-seller, while a book about the true-life murder of a celebrity went straight to cellphone?
That black background makes it look like Les has been sitting quietly in the corner of Ann and Fred’s living room the whole time.
Why didn’t Jessica have this conversation with Les 2 years ago when she arrived in Deathview fired up and ready to do her documentary on her late father whose name I can’t recall. Better question, is why doesn’t she already own a copy as part of her research material into the life/murder of her father, whose name I still can’t recall.
And this storyline is going straight to hell. By the way, just what is that on Les’ shirt? It looks like a cross between a pig and the sun. My guess is that it is breakfast – hurled at Les from across the room because Cayla can’t bear even one more second in Les’ personal Stankatorium.
Sgt. S, I think the symbol on Les’ sweatshirt is supposed to be the Kent State University seal.
[img]http://www.ksualumni.org/s/401/images/editor/eflash%20Issues/July%202010/universitySealnewjpg.jpg[/img]
At first glance, I thought it looked like the FBI seal that every Street Fighter fanatic and Neo Geo nut knows so well from the legendary “Winners Don’t Use Drugs” arcade game screen.
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/73/Winners_Dont_Use_Drugs.png/220px-Winners_Dont_Use_Drugs.png[/img]
Les wearing a “Winners Don’t Use Drugs” sweatshirt would probably be the most ineffective PSA ever. In fact, I’m convinced dug use would skyrocket as a result.
As I have snarked many times before, just when you think BatHack has hit rock bottom, he grabs a shovel. These last 2 days have just been ridiculous. As others have pointed out more eloquently, this plot has holes big enough to drive Snowball through. Give it up already Tom.
Let’s see if we can stop a certain train that I think is heading toward the station.
Tomorrow’s strip:
Darrin – “By the way, Les, we have some news!”
Cayla – “Well, isn’t that a coincidence. I have some news too!”
You KNOW that’s occurred to Batiuk. Thanksgiving for a double-birth celebration. Let’s stop this. Les Moore’s genetic material must not spread.
“Reality-based comic strip”, my ass.
I usually greatly prefer the snarking here to that of the Comics Curmudgeon comments section, but I have to give major kudos to Rocky Stoneaxe’s comment on today’s strip.
@Bill A, because she only recently remembered her father’s name was JOHN DARLING.
I’d love to be a fly on the wall when Jessica looks at the title page and sees the sycophantic paragraph that Les has scrawled while autographing his book for himself.
@Connie – especially since Les probably put lots of “kissy” symbols all around it.
“Hmmm, I haven’t really done anything with the Jessica character in a long time. I know! I’ll have her be pregnant! Oh, shit, almost forgot about that John Darling thing I set up with her two years ago. Better throw that in there somehow too”. That’s exactly how this farce reads. No thought, not even a nod to continuity, just a bunch of random stuff that happens with no beginning, no middle and no end.
If she starts reading the book now, she should finish it right around the time Jinx graduates from college, so it’ll all work out perfectly.
Wasn’t Les working on that script of his? What, did Batiuk realize that no one was sympathizing with the man dumb enough to insist on writing for a medium he had no experience in, so he just cut it short? Or was that one scene we saw Les write actually the end of the film?
First noticed the new banner, TFH. Props to you!
Darin: “So, Jess, are you planning to interview your mother, the wife of John Darling about the life and death of your father, John Darling for your coming documentary about the famous celebrity John Darling?”
Jess: “N-no….NO! Why in the world would I do something stupid like that? This is a LES MOORE novel, Darin. LES MOORE. Westview’s own Hollywood auteur! Why would I need to do something pointless like interview the woman who loved, married, and lived with my father when I can read the book report style meanderings of a man who kind of, sort of figured out his murder? HMMM?”
Les: *chuckles* “Couldn’t have said it better myself, Jess. Though, next time, let ME dress Darin down. I’m a man. And his stepfather! I outrank you.”
Jess: “Yes, Master Moore.”
Darin: “….uh…”
Les: “Silence, plebe! Hmmph. I guess there WERE some children left behind!”
So there’s a pic of Funky’s evolution in that interview:
Okay, his aging makes a little more sense now, but geeze, Funky’s hardly had enough scares for his hair to go ghost white & balding at 40, seriously. TV Tropes is saying he looks like a grandfather for a reason. And where did Stage 4 ever appear in the strips, is that mid Time Skip 2?
I still wonder if it says something that Les is the one who gets to age gracefully.
Yeah, his book went straight to eBay: “Scrap paper – $1 a pound. Burns well.”
I notice in that picture of Aging Flunky, youngest Flunky holds his pizza in his palm just like Kid Toucher John. Can anyone really hold a slice of pizza like that? Has BatArt ever taken an art course?
Little help here please: is this the manuscript Les lost that time, or was that “Lisa’s Stupid Story”? Wasn’t it found in The Big City by a bag lady who later became his agent? Am I remembering this correctly? And if so how? And why? Please send help…..end transmission.
In world war 2 people were urged to ask themselves “Is this trip necessary?” In reading FW this week, I’m asking myself “Is this strip necessary?”
Epicus: here’s the saga of Les’ “lost” manuscript, apologies for the small size…
Six months after that strip appeared, Batiuk had retconned that the book actually had been published…
The really sad thing: Tom is convinced that somewhere out there is a loyal but silent majority of John Darling fans who are THRILLED that their favorite comic strip character is getting a shout-out in “Funky Winkerbean”.
I genuinely believe he feels he’s serving an audience, here.
Dear me, the illusions he must have.
Thanks TFH, so I guess that woman bought her copy (perhaps even one with the rare alternate cover) on Ebay and….ahhhh, forget it, it’ll never make sense no matter how hard I try.