No Kids on the Block

Query whether the lousy attitude displayed in today’s strip is a result of or the cause of the Scapegoats’ lousy record. Here at last is someone who can throw a football, and his teammates conspire to let him be injured? Thankfully, despite the fearsome SMASH! WHAM! CRUNCH! Jarod should emerge unscathed, as his scrawny tacklers appear to have a combined weight of a couple hundred pounds, tops.

13 thoughts on “No Kids on the Block”

  1. I’m the balding QB, known as Jarod Posey.
    When I hit the turf, my own teammates oppose me.
    My body gets smeared all over the field.
    Got no friends, but I can throw the pill.
    Bull de-motivates the guys, he is obese.
    Another full sized pizza, double sausage and cheese.
    Pretty soon everybody will be starting to mope.
    We’re all working the Scapegoats Suck Trope.
    (Apologies to the 1985 Bears)

    I’m pretty sure this gag was in “The Longest Yard” (the Burt Renyolds one). So add it to the (lengthening) list of dramatic film/TV sports tropes Batom appropriated for this fascinating (so far) arc. So after paying his dues, Jarod will win over the “sportos” with his undeniable football skills and become the football program’s answer to Summer Moore, only without the whole goody-two-shoes fine-young-woman routine. I can accept that, you have to be willing to take the small victories here in the Funkyverse.

    Coming next week: Jarod saunters into Montoni’s wearing a full-length fur coat with a girl on each arm, then “guarantees” a victory for the Goats over the favored Medina Colts. His hair is red.

  2. Hey, the jocks (sorry, “sportos”) are rebelling against the sullen loner they pick on being put in the quarterback position by their lumpy, incompetent, desperate coach! There’s a development anybody who is not Bull Bushka could have predicted!

  3. Epicus – This gag was actually used (to much better effect) in the 1978 Warren Beatty movie “Heaven Can Wait”.

  4. Well it wasn’t like they could actually block for J-Rod if they wanted to, so it wasn’t a stretch for these guys to let J-Rod get crumpled.

    “Don’ block, pass it on”.
    “Oh, you mean, do as we have been doing all along?” “No, problemo, fellow sporto!”

  5. What do these retards have against Jarod anyway? His leather jacket, smoking and rebellious vibe don’t mark him as a geek. Oh, lord…don’t tell me that it’s going to be revealed that Wedgeman and Jarod are secret gay lovers. You already had a chance to do this Batiuk last year and you fucking failed at it. No mulligans allowed!

  6. Bull: still got a touch of the sadist in him OR too obtuse to see this coming?
    J-Rod: self-aware rebel AND too obtuse to see this coming?
    Tomorrow’s strip: J-Rod emerges from the scrum in Superhero costume (that’s his power — changing hair color) and in the third panel, we see that Pete has been drawing this fantasy all along.

  7. OK, I’ll buy this. Even if Jarod isn’t wearing a “don’t tackle me I’m the QB” red jersey like he should be, even if we’ve not been given any real motivation for the “sportos” to despise Jarod, and even if this is just another one of TB’s transparent attempts to show his disdain for football, I can see it as a realistic situation.

    What I won’t buy is tomorrow’s strip where Bull doesn’t do a dang thing about this. Even the racist Brett Favre look-a-like from Remember the Titans got kicked off the team for this, and that was a movie in which the defense picked up a ground-caused fumble and scored a touchdown by running the ball back the wrong direction.

  8. This would almost, almost work if the strip were a “gag-a-day” type comic. I could see that. In fact, I can envision the BC gang doing this to Wiley.

    But since Tom Batiuk has spurned such endeavors as unworthy of his talents, we’re left with a “sensitive teen issue” strip in which the action here is totally out of place.

    In the latter case, tomorrrow’s episode really really really needs to show the players here being dropped from the team and further disciplined. Hey, maybe Bull could force them to watch football practice, and turn them all into ball boys!

    Of course I am completely kidding myself. Tom Batiuk apparently can’t do humor or seriousness, so his work just sort of flops around like a dead fish stuck between two streams.

  9. as noted above how is this result (the quaterback getting smashed) different from the way the normally play? and why do the sportos hate this guy?

  10. You know, Batty, astrophysics isn’t a subject that I feel qualified to write about as I try to refrain from discussing things I am not versed in. Perhaps you should think about that when you consider your next sports-centric arc.

  11. –Even if Jarod isn’t wearing a “don’t tackle me I’m the QB” red jersey like he–

    Not sure if they red-shirt at the high school level, do they? I was too busy smoking pot and trying to bang the busty hispanic cheerleader back then to notice. I only succeeding in one of those endeavors by the way.

  12. I’m almost certain that Tom’s intent with this was to build sympathy by depicting suffering. Of course, his own ingrained loathing of all teenagers made it come out as just more inexplicable unpleasantness.

    I’m also certain that “sporto” was last used IRL back in 2002, by a businessman on lunch break ordering s pound of shaved ham at the deli.

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