Wishing a Merry Christmas and a Funky New Year to my readers and especially to my guest authors: DavidO, Epicus Doomus, Beckoning Chasm and Oddnoc!
Oh, Wally, you romantic fool. As if presenting Rachel with an I.O.U. for an engagement ring last summer near the gazebo wasn’t sweet enough…On Christmas Day , handing the ring in its box to your intended with a “Here you go”…instead of getting on one knee, or putting the ring on her finger. And then grinning like a dope at the prospect of never having to buy another thing for Rachel for the rest of your lives together.
Son of Stuck Funky 
“Really, you better give me several good, expensive reasons for chaining myself to your sorry PTSD ass on a regular basis if you don’t want me on the first bus out of town.”
I always wonder how many engagement rings that are bought with zero input from the recipient end up being exchanged for something that fits/they like better….
You romantic…FOOL. It’s almost like they were at a cookout, she had no ketsup(sp?) and he tossed her a bottle, “Here ya go , Rache.” Lack of money doesn’t make you a loser…these two are losers. Although he probably and finally just gave her an all clear on STDs too given the goof smile. And where the heck is the Best Dog?
Uh-oh, what do you call that 3rd panel mouth again, found on Pizza Whore, or whatever her name was? (Sorry, it’s been too long)
Somewhere…there’s a woman bleeding to death in a dark alley with her ring finger missing.
Yes, the hatchet faces make a stirring comeback. I hope he didn’t buy into that chocolate diamond garbage from Jared.
Rachel: “Here you go, Rache?!?” …Do I have to get you the Complete Works of Miss Manners for Christmas, or what?”
Wally: “Yeesh, what are you so upset about? I saw the ring while walking past ZALES this afternoon. They had it for just a penny.”
Rachel: “As the down payment?”
Wally: “Down payment?!? I already gave them a penny! Are you saying I have to give them ANOTHER one? Geez louise!”
Rachel: *face palm*
funkyville girls are easy
Right back at ya, TFH, as well as to our entire little Les-loathing community during this, the most joyous of seasons. Doubly joyous thanks to this being a (so far) Les-free arc. Thanks Tom!!
Check out Wally trying to pull the old “so this counts as two gifts, right?” routine on poor, understanding Rachel. A hell of a lot more than “1/4 inch removed” from reality too, because no woman I’ve ever known would have put up with that sort of inbred cheapness for very long. He’s lucky she stuck it out after that paper ring debacle over the summer, but he’s just pushing it now.
Man, Rachel does NOT wear her hatchet face very well at all. And look at how unbelievably Funky-like Wally appears in panel one….gak.
To show some kindness to Batiuk, romance is something I see many major writers completely stumble on just because it is such an alien thing to write well. Some, hopefully most, of them have romance in their own lives but to express it in entertainment? That’s difficult.
Still this is about as romantic as Harrison Ford telling Princess Leia “I know” after she confesses her love for him.
Merry Christmas to all fellow snarkers, and Merry Christmas to Tom Batiuk. Christmas wishes for all, except for Les Moore. Les Moore should fry!
I saw a PSA poster recently. You all recognize Westview’s most common facial expression below:
However, the rest of the poster tells a much more grim, much more Funky story behind the smirk:
Gyre: He usually relies on the standard “sitcom” template when doing these lower-tier character relationships. You have the dimwitted but well-meaning clod and his infinitely patient and kindly love interest with incredibly low standards. Add wry banter, self-depreciating remarks and facetious winking replies and bam, a Westviewian couple is born.
And as pitiful as Wally’s sad proposal was, it was a million times better than Les’ horrifying proposal to Cayla, so there is that. Nothing could be worse than that. Still though, I can’t believe he did a Wally strip without using some variation on “Buddy” who must be keeping Rache’s kid busy or something today. Wally without Buddy is like eating dollar menu chicken nuggets without the dipping sauce if you ask me. Merry Christmas to FW’s most likeable character ever, we miss ya Buddy.
BC: Think of the panic that would ensue if that poster found its way into Westview. Also think of the strokes that go unreported or misdiagnosed every year in that town because no one can tell.
Oh, Wally. I don’t know what to say. This is the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.
Yeah, Rachel. It’s really neat. It cost me five thousand dollars.
Oh Wally, I, well, how can I ever repay you?
Well, gee whiz, Rachel… How about five hundred down and a 36 month contract?
What?
Or… you could… marry me. (organ fwah)
That’s impossible,Wally. I can’t marry you. I can’t even tell you why. Maybe, someday.
All right, Rachel, I understand. Sign here. (paper unfolding)
Oh, Wally. I’ll never forgive you.
I’ll never forget you neither, Nancy. (organ fwah)
A Merry Christmas to all and especially to TB, whose “comic genius” I marvel at everyday and to Mr. Hackett, who gave me a forum to marvel from.
Happy Christmas & Merry New Year, fellow snarkers! God bless us, every one, even Messrs. Batiuk & Owen!
Lumps of coal, though, to Les, Frankie, and Harry “put out” Dinkle.
New Year’s resolutions I’d recommend to Batominc:
1. Less Les
2. Take the chullo off Owen
3. Repair your portrayal of female characters
Given the lead time on the strip, I hope he took those a year ago.
As for today’s strip, I’m a bit disappointed that Buddy didn’t pop the corner from the foyer whilst Wally lobbed the ring all grenade-like at his intended. “Here ya go, Rache! We’re hitched!”
Kind of an odd grab bag approach to the holiday arcs this year, eh? The coming of Skyler was all LISA LISA LISA, leading me to think a new video message was in the offing. But instead we got Holly kind of, sort of, maybe purchasing comics or something…until NO, PIZZA…then decorations were tossed about, then suddenly Cory, but no, PIZZA AGAIN, then Wally and Rachel, who haven’t actually had any plot movement beyond what we last saw.
It’s all a lukewarm mess.
DavidO here! Thanks guys, for being more than generous at my attempts at snarking! Here’s wishing a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all.