Take a close look at Les in panel 3 of today’s strip!
Turning guy-in-the-background into homonculus-in-the-foreground is my contribution to the writing in this week’s arc. I’ve foreseen the future, and—let me tell you—it’s going to be a slog this week. Brace yourselves, because we’re spending the whole week inside Montoni’s.
On the other hand, this will almost happen:
We’ll also dig deep into Cindy’s journalistic bag of tricks, and the depth of Les’s moral integrity. But that’s all for the future of this slow, slow week. Because—don’t get me wrong!—it won’t be interesting, and there will be disappointment a-plenty for us, the reading audience.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Oh, OK, now I see how this will play out. For the next four or five months we’ll get weekly arcs featuring each and every FW character reacting to the big Mason Jarr news. Cindy this week, Funky and Harry next week and so on and etc. Then, and only then, will Mason finally at long last appear, at which point he’ll just substitute “Mason is coming!” with “Mason is here!” and begin the cycle anew. Mason Jarr won’t get his hands on those damned comic books until September or October at the earliest. And Les will be involved the entire time, making those annoying faces and just generally being Les which is, of course, bad enough without the comic books.
After a week of Les, there’s nothing quite as depressing as seeing Les again on Monday and knowing there’s a whole other week coming ahead.
Well, if Cindy wasn’t forced out at ABC News by unrealistic ageist bosses that only exist in the mind of Batom®, this would be bigger news.
Although, in Cleveland, we did get excited about the filmings of The Avengers and Captain America II in a way Pittsburgh or Detroit probably wouldn’t have. But fat chance of that psyche being delved into in the sociopathic Funkyverse.
Batom®’s failure to demonstrate proper depth perception with his Funky Felt Tip once again was probably recognized by the colorist; thus, the mini head tumor popping out from St. Les the Righteous Smirker’s left shoulder.
Actually, the fact that there are TWO random customers at Montoni’s is rather shocking in and of itself.
The third panel really showcases the two kinds of faces Batiuk draws. You have over exaggerated orgasm face, like Funky had a few weeks back when he was thinking about that cranky Santa, and “please Lord, let it end now” face.
Don’t say anything about what? That Mason Jarr is coming? Well that cat is out of the bag since you’ve already told the world’s most in the closet couple and it’s all over their Facebook page.
Maybe it’s about the Starbuck Jones movie. After all TB has shown in the past that he thinks Hollywood hates any publicity about their projects. More to the point why in the name of all that is holy do I care anymore?
I can see why Mason Jarr the Movie Actor doesn’t want it widely known that he’s so inept at research he must go to some random comic collector in Depression, Ohio in order to learn anything.
Slow: “The story unfolded at a snail’s pace.”
Slower: “The pace of the story is glacial.”
Slowest of all: “This story’s pace is Winkerbeanian.”
So the vintage, ultra-rare, and virtually unheard of Starbuck Jones is now Superman or something. Logic.
And come to think of it, why is Cindy there in the first place? Was she just stopping in at random for her yearly visit? Is this going to be some really stupid riff on gossip-mongering or something? What kind of person just sneaks up on you and sticks their face right into a conversation like that?
Think about how insanely self-indulgent this whole thing is. This story is a fantasy about what it would be like if your fictional comic book title was made into a real Hollywood blockbuster and the star of that blockbuster came to your house to discuss the character with you over a big old pile of comic books. And right now the fantasy is at the part where you’re imagining how annoying all your friends would be upon hearing that you were pals with a big movie star. I mean wow, that’s just nutty. As well as disturbingly detailed.
The really irritating thing about all of this is that we’re not dealing with Batiuk’s insistence on not understanding how HOLLYWOOD!!!!! works. We’re dealing with the fact that Les is pissed because he can’t exercise complete control of things. It’s why he killed the movie in the first place. After all, they could have been faithful to the spirit of the book BUT mentioned Oprah instead of Asimov when explaining Lisa’s video letters of saying “Summer, you’re young and healthy but you’ll die of cancer like me” and he’d still have tried to kill it because he can’t bear to be not in control.
The presumptuous douchocity of Les Moore continues unabated.
It’s nice that he volunteered Holly and Cory, and their rare collection of comic books, to this guy he knows without even asking them first. And he’s asking her after Mason has already made the decision to visit that asshole of a town, just in case they might consider refusing him. Everything in the world really does belong to him, doesn’t it?
Besides, why is he asking Holly this? Isn’t the collection Cory’s, or is Holly one of those people who think that they have a claim to every gift they give someone?
So he didn’t even ask Holly, let alone Cory, until after he’d already let Mason know he could come over. Our “hero”, ladies and gentlemen! No, wait, that’s a horrible description for him. Our “protagonist”, ladies and gentlemen? No, too positive for him. And frankly he’s too annoying and boring to be much of an antagonist.
Les Moore, our dullard, ladies and gentlemen? Yeah, I think that works.
Third panel. Holly is squeezing Goatee Boy’s nertz.
Sooooo what was the plan? Mason Jarrrr the wildly popular Hollywood Movie Actor was going to wear a disguise while in Wankerview so the local yokels wouldn’t know he was there? The curtains would be drawn at Taj MOORE Hal and bodyguards would patrol the perimeter?
If it’s such a secret, why is Fertilizer Face discussing this in a public place, in a voice loud enough to be heard all the way to the front door??
I thought Blondie McThirtyYearOldClassmate lived and worked in Cleveland now. She goes out of her way to eat at her ex’s restaurant in a dinky small town??
Please, tell me what about this entire storyline isn’t overly forced and contrived. Oh, wait. It’s called “writing.”
Something occurred to me. When Cynthia got pushed out it was obviously a jab at news reporting being more focused on entertainment than actual news (plus sexism). But Cynthia shilled Les and his script on air and is probably going to somehow get her job back through a scoop about Mason. So entertainment is good when it’s for Les and comic books?
Holy moly, this looks to me like confirmation that Holly giving the collection to Cory took place entirely off screen. That’s an un-ending that even surprises me.
This storyline is incredibly self-indulgent. It’s obvious that a fake comic book (with a corny name) and all its related properties matter more to Batom® than the Funkyverse in total… well, except for St. Les the Righteous Smirker, of course.
@bad wolf: I got the same impression. And that’s even more incompetence by a non-writer who is forcing a crummy storyline done everyone’s throat. Batom® keeps hitting new lows, and he just doesn’t care.
If no newspapers manage to drop this strip over the course of this year, it will be a true tragedy.
People, people… we’re missing the most notable aspect of today’s strip. The homunculus is the first non-cast member customer Montoni’s has had in, what, 3 years?
@Gyre: How about, “Less More, our dull-witted, self-centered jackass, ladies and gentlemen.”
“And come to think of it, why is Cindy there in the first place?”
To let the news out and bring in a new or long lost character like Frankie.
“But Cynthia shilled Les and his script on air and is probably going to somehow get her job back through a scoop about Mason.”
Hardly, whatever happens must be dystopian.
Gad what a mess of a plot line – anyway the only thing that will keep me going during this entire arc is imagining that while Mason is in Les’s house he ends up sleeping with both Les’s dead wife and the current almost wife,, his daughter and step daughter because other than eating pizza there is nothing to do in this damned town and man gets bored. .