In today’s strip, the background has been transformed into a wall of generalised human flesh.
One can only assume that the background has just awoken from uneasy dreams. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” screams the background as it awakes with a start. “I’ve been transformed into a featureless wall of flesh.”
As for the action, Cindy channels some amalgam of Edward R. Murrow and Mike Wallace—who am I kidding?—she reaches deep into her rich background as a journalist, and pulls out a legalistic trick right out of the 4th grade playground. Oh? You promised not to say anything? That’s fine; just write it on this napkin. As Les demurs, I tried to come up with other techniques for her to suggest:
- tweet it
- sing it like a Broadway show tune
- jungle drums
- tap it out in Morse code on the table
- smoke signals
- semaphore!
- let’s play charades
- perform it as interpretive dance
- send me a singing telegram
- something… Hey, wait a minute!
Why is Cindy in Westview—in Montoni’s of all places—on a weekday? Shouldn’t she be in Cleveland anchoring the news? Why is Les not at work? Shouldn’t he be at the high school making teenagers hate literature? It’s like BanTom is the issue of some unholy DNA experiment involving The Two Eds: Bulwer-Lytton and Wood.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Cindy deserved to lose her job. When you think Les Moore has a hot scoop on something, you suck as a journalist.
“So Les, tell me what the big secret is???”
“OK, a relatively unknown actor I met in Hollywood is coming to my house to read comic books that don’t belong to me.”
“OMG! COMIC BOOKS???? (grabs phone) Hello, national desk? Hold everything! I have our NEW LEAD STORY!!!!”
(The following day’s strip opens with a dejected Cindy being led out of the building by security)
As I mentioned yesterday, this particular part of BanTom’s bizarre comic book-centric fantasy is weird even by BanTom’s comic book fantasy standards. By the end of the month the entire town will be festooned with hand drawn “Welcome Mason aka Starbuck Jones” banners and a huge town-wide parade featuring tiny robin’s egg blue cars of indeterminate origin will be snaking its way through the Montoni’s district as shredded pizza boxes and comic books rain down from the heavens. And, sadly, the Post Office Bomber will be nowhere to be found.
“It’s like BanTom is the issue of some unholy DNA experiment involving The Two Eds: Bulwer-Lytton and Wood.”
Batom® reminds me more of a DNA experiment involving Coleman Francis and Hal Warren.
TFH: That is fantastic.
I want to know who in the hell Batom® is appealing to with this neverending vanity storyline. What blue-haired subscriber to the Elyria Chronicle Telegram is interested in an imaginary superhero (with Bedtime for Bonzo as a sidekick) that wouldn’t see the light of day under either DC or Marvel?
@Nathan:
I’m starting to think that Batiuk has self-published the entire run of Starbuck Jones comics himself, and is using this strip to build hype for it, in the hopes that when people find the comics after his death there will be a huge national craze.
Uggh
I’ve just been enjoying the snark, I never thought I’d be a recurring character
If Cyndi were smart, she’d quietly eavesdrop on Les and Holly’s conversation (since they’re not bothering to be discreet, what with discussing Mason Jarr the Movie Actor’s plans in a public place), rather than elbow her way in to the conversation with this obvious “reporter on the hunt for a big scoop!” routine. I’m starting to suspect age wasn’t the determining factor in getting demoted from her cushy New York anchor position.
Even when this strip’s content is relatively light-hearted and amusing, BatMan still manages to make it feel dark and gloomy. This occasional-gag-a-day thing just really isn’t working out anymore. 😦
Les–worst reply ever!
What irritates me is the stupid assumption that Mason and the studio aren’t going to lap up free heat for their little movie. Batiuk doesn’t live in the world for trailers FOR trailers and it shows.
Where did Les even buy a Holly mannequin? Better question, actually… why?
@Epicus – We haven’t had this much excitement in Westview since the Wells Fargo wagon came!
And I’m all for replacing the last panel of every FW strip with TFH’s Montoni’s napkin.
“Flesh”? That’s a bit of old-age thinking straight from a box of 64 Crayolas. By the way, the Vegas money is on Les’ caving as early as tomorrow.
The only way this entire strip makes sense is if it’s a dream by a comatose high-school-era Les. And all the people who were mean to him are old, fat, and balding, and they’ve all lost their jobs and have had their dreams crushed, while he, Les, is a genius writer and to go-to guy for the entire community! And he’s loved and respected by everyone, and even when he isn’t, his wife died so no one can say anything.
oddnoc wrote: In today’s strip, the background has been transformed into a wall of generalised human flesh.
See, this is part of Batom’s® laziness that bugs me. He had the whole recurring story arc about the Funkman® hiring some starving artist to paint elaborate murals of the Italian countryside on the walls. But now all we see in the background at Montoni’s are some drab beige walls. Heck, except for a brief cameo a few weeks ago, even the band box is no longer seen.
@sgtsaunders wrote:
Um, yes. My point exactly.
@sgtsaunders and @ooddnoc: I’d be remiss not to bring up the classic “Flesh” crayon controversy in “Bloom Country.”
@oddnoc – … darn auto-correct!
I’d happily trade Bloom County re-runs for FW strips any day.
-I’d happily trade Bloom County re-runs for FW strips any day.-
Damn straight!. Opus was a pathetic character that you actually liked and cared about. And had actual humor!
How does Cyndi gain 30 years and 30 pounds between the first and second panels? Good effort, Tomahack.
You know it’s tough in Cleveland when the news anchors have to hang out in a greasy spoon pizza joint in a dying little town to look for news stories. They need to get an NFL team one of these days.
Holly has to be overjoyed every time Flunk Man’s younger, hotter ex-wife comes sniffing around. Cyndi’s Spidey Sense must have been tingling. She just KNEW this was the day to break a story about a fifth rate Hollywood Movie Actor coming to town to read comic books!
Tune in the rest of the week as Batboy rips off part of the premise of that hep new musical, “Bye Bye Birdie.”