“‘th hell, Kerry?!?” What is with the hand on the leg? It’s true that there not really related, but damn, girl, you just dropped in fifteen minutes ago! And check out the sidelong glances in panel 3: Darin’s kinda liking the attention!
Meh. I’m pretty sure she’s not putting the moves on him (remember the rule of thumb: that would be too interesting).
Son of Stuck Funky 
“Wow, I could really use a backrub…”
(cue the “Wacka-chicka” music)
Credit where it’s due, Batiuk has (intentionally or otherwise) perfectly captured the “who are you and why are you putting your hands all over me?” reaction you get when someone you barely know insists on making physical contact.
Kerry: “So, I’ve been estranged from my father for four decades. Yup! And he’s just had a massive stroke. Very probably will die soon, no doubt the very hour that Ann realizes that she’s secretly been genuinely in love with him after all! But enough of that…where have YOU been all my life, dreamboat?!?”
Darin: “…uh…I’m your brother. Nobody bothered to tell me about you until fifteen seconds ago. That was a -very- brief visit with Dad, by the way.”
Kerry: “Feh. Guy’s a vegetable now. I’m much more interested in MEAT…know what I mean, Darin?”
Darin: *sweat drops*
Kerry: “…you know…I’m not ACTUALLY your sister…”
Darin: “….mother…”
Kerry: “Your mother is in Heaven, Darin. I can send you there, oh yes…”
**************************************************
Eh. After Fishstick’s fling with Bull, I’m not surprised that Tom doesn’t pick up on -any- of the awkward subtext he unknowingly imbues each and every “heartwarming” FW strip with.
This is skin-crawl inducing.
Really upping the ick factor: Today Kerry looks all of fourteen. *shudder*
This is where the little cartoon devil is supposed to appear on Darvon’s shoulder…”she’s grabbing your leg, dude! F*ck her! F*ck her brains out, right now! She isn’t REALLY your step-sister!”. Too bad FW doesn’t do comedy though, sigh.
I like how BatWonk once again deftly dodges any explanation behind this “estrangement” by starting Kerry Mcweaksmirk’s conversation at the end. “So that’s what happened, Boy Lisa, now let’s have a completely cornball “human moment” together along with a little awful wordplay”. What a cheap, lazy and extremely hacky tactic. “Gee, I guess we’re step-siblings, huh? Wow, I’m feeling a little uh-strange right now myself, huh, huh, huh!”…way to spin a compelling tale, Mr. Modern Comic Strip Innovator from Ohio. His big “bombshell” plot development had all the impact and excitement of a dud firecracker on a drizzly day. It’s just so gutless and cowardly, hard to believe this is the same author who once blew up buildings, amputated limbs and cancer-ized his favorite character for a bit of quick publicity. Nowadays he can’t even dish a little dirt on a third-rate character no one likes via a brand new character no one knows. Just a sad, sad display of ineptitude.
Still begs the question why at age 40, Kerry never made any attempts to contact Fred or 1/4″ step-brother Durwood prior to today…..and so where is this mystery ex-wife now?
I must admit that this has been a pleasent break from Les and crayola and especially sum-mor but at least Batyuck continues to bring us a whole new batch of non-lovable characters.
this story is all over the place ,what is this story about? Fred stroke ,fishanns unhappy life,answering phone after happy thoughts curse,long lost unknown daughter,dog face Darrin living in dorm marriage ? i’m lost here
I saw this comic at midnight, and my first thought was “OH SNAP! Surprise stepsibling extramarital romance!” I’m glad I’m not the only one.
In Batuik’s defense, that would be a pretty bold storyline.
And of course they just happen to be seated alone on a LOVESEAT, of all things. There’s a reason the spread-eagled Darin of Panel 2 suddenly cuts to an extreme close-up in Panel 3. Feeling pretty strange, indeed.
So Kerry is Fred’s legitimate daughter from a first marriage, and Darin is an adopted son from a second marriage. Technically, not a stepbrother in this scenario. If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right; luckily, we found a loophole.
I’m just imagining this being a 1970’s sitcom, with the “studio audience” going “Wooooooo000!!!” in panel 3.
Personally, my reaction is more along the lines of, “Blaaaaaaarrrrfffff!!!!”
Also, nice to see the return of the pubic-hair-laden furniture. I’m sure these two Love Turds will just add to the collection.
Is “adopted step-sibling” even a thing? I mean, I guess it is, because situations like this must actually exist, but it’s definitely a relationship that takes some thought.
You haven’t been “estranged” from your step-brother, you idiot. In order for that to be the case, he’d have to have known that you existed. Really, you should have just said.
“Hi! I’m the smelly item Tom Batiuk pulled from his anus! Hope I don’t stain the furniture!”
“You’re the smelly item Tom Batiuk pulled from his anus? You’re going to have to be WAY more specific.”
The next time someone complains on here about Batiuk’s penchant for absurdly improbable story arcs, they should just remember the past three weeks. Which would you rather read about every day, two old people facing illness and death in grimly realistic detail, or some sexually ambiguous nympho apparently putting the moves on her nearest male relative?
Estranged – Strange… HAW! It’s a PUN!! Do ya “get” it?? Hand on his leg — He’s getting a strange feeling, all right. IN HIS PANTS. And why does she call her father “Fred?” Creepy comic from a creepy cartoonist. Business as usual.
And dammit, BatCrap, figure out how to make characters look their age. She still looks like a kid.
Okay, TB where are we now? Darrin is adopted so he doesn’t share Fred or Ann’s DNA. And since Darrin and Kerry weren’t raised in the same household so there’s no environmental conditioning that prevents Darrin from acting out his incest fantasy here. So TB, you got a green light.
Almost incest – full speed ahead… Next stop Cookie land.
[img]https://sonofstuckfunky.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/prettystrange.jpg[/img]
@TFH — I pray that’s photoshop and not a peek ahead (pun intended).
Darin really not helping things with his John-Gruden-on-MNF spread eagle in panel 2. He’s also not helping things by constantly wearing Funky’s Act II clothes.
Panel One
Kerry: “So…let’s talk about your wife. You treat her like a roommate, she claims she’s making a documentary…I would say she’s cheating on you.”
Darin: “Hmm, I guess.”
Panel Two:
Kerry: “You don’t really have feelings for that airhead anymore, but you like me, right?”
Darin “…uh…” (he’s sweating)
Panel Three:
Darin: “What have I gotten myself into this time?”
Kerry: “Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”
Yeah, let’s hope that doesn’t happen. Funky Creepycreepy indeed!
This arc has so many Funky Winkerbean tropes!
*debility
*the looming specter of death
*the angry, vengeful, joy-despising Universe
*awkward pacing
*awkward, incomprehensible flashback
*inexplicable plot
*telling, not showing (then not even telling)
*pubic-hair decor
*characters of inconsistent age
*unintentional creepiness
*missed opportunity to do a compelling flashback
*¼ inch from reality, but the cross-product of the least believable, least interesting directions from reality ever conceived by a Pulitzer-nominated artiste from the American Midwest
“You’re the smelly item Tom Batiuk pulled from his anus? You’re going to have to be WAY more specific.”
Yes, that modifier should have been “a”, not “the”.
Ugh, panel two looks like a 1980’s PSA for “bad-touching”. Sexual molest much, Kerry?
Oh, what’s the big deal if Kerry puts the moves on Darin? It’s not as he and Jessica interact like anything resembling a married couple.
I have to laugh at the latest part of this “story.” Frustrated because he’s finally aware that everyone loathes Les Moore, Tom Batiuk introduces a new character who looks a lot like a young Les Moore. (Look at the face in the masthead and push the hairline up a bit, you can’t un-see it.)
It’s like he just can’t help but shove Les Moore into every possible orifice.
Once Kerry finds out that Derwood is adopted, her granny panties will be hitting the floor faster than Fred’s fork at lunchtime.
I detest this arc with a passion. Just a lazy, slipshod, pointless piece of garbage masquerading as a “story”. Fred’s stroke apparently happened simply to allow BatFiend the chance to make a few cheesy speech impediment gags. The whole “Annie bitches about her disappointing life” subplot apparently happened to give BatLoad the chance to add some cheap pathos for no reason, and why Kerry exists at all is a complete mystery to everyone except him. Maybe he should forget about his bloated cast of thousands and concentrate on what he does best in Act III: pizza gags, comic book references and Les Moore being a giant dick with ears. This arc is the comic strip equivalent to crippling constipation: a lot of straining and pushing that goes nowhere fast and leaves you feeling queasy and frustrated afterwards. Describing this arc as “shitty” is being far too kind.
Alt text: “Actually…I could use a little strange.”
@Epicus: love the Animal House reference.
After all the BS that Batiuk’s editor lets slip by, Batiuk has every opportunity to make it big with some crazy storyline that involves some bizarre step-half-sibling romance. He may be a hack writer, but he’ll get credit if he lets the strip go completely off the rails.