Funky – Page 174 – Son of Stuck Funky

What part of Funky can even remotely be described as looking “good”?

Crazy Harry finally came over to see Funky ~~hours~~ ~~days~~ ~~weeks~~ God only knows how long after the accident and one of the first comments out of his mouth is that somehow the withered, ogre-like scowling lard-ass sitting on the couch and wasting oxygen is looking “good”, which is funny because I think the last time Crazy Harry saw him he was at least walking around and not in traction. “Good” in Westview is apparently a very relative thing.

Sadly, Funky, your near-death experience didn’t provide much of anything to anyone; no closure, no epiphany, and definitely no amusement. I’ve have no idea why Holly and Crazy Harry are laughing; they must be psychopaths with no sense of empathy.

Funkman?! Men have been killed for less than that.

Does someone with a name like “Funky” even warrant a nickname? And if so, wouldn’t it be something banal like Richard or Gene to balance out the stupidity that is his real name? And from the look of the Funkman’s face, he’s turning into another Crankshaft.

You gotta admit though, he’s workin’ that neckbrace!

It’s still bewildering to even the most astute of readers as to how much time is passing in these strips. Something that should take only minutes gets stretched into a week’s worth of fodder and yet from the sounds of what Holly’s saying, ol’ sourpuss has been home for some time now.

“You know how hospitals can be…”

Oh God, here we go, a weeklong kick off to “hospitals are terrible” strips. Remember, in the Funkyverse it was hospitals that killed Lisa, NOT breast cancer. Her results got switched with someone else’s results so she didn’t get proper treatment soon enough and died. The only part of that I remember went something like: “They goofed and sent the wrong test results. You know how hospitals can be.”

Hey Funky, CHILL and be glad you’re alive! True, it appears from panel 2 that they had to amputate that thumb but it was already mangled. As far as the rest of your injuries, for some reason you’re sporting a neck brace today when you weren’t yesterday. I guess people with shattered vertebrates only need a neck brace a few hours a day while they heal.

Damn it, he’s going to be ok!

Death has yet another near miss in Westview as it appears that Funky is going to be “ok”. Or, as ok as ok can be, considering it appears the accident gave him brain damage and aged him another 15 years. (From the looks of panel 5, he’s 46 going on 80) It looks like three things are for certain: Funky is going to live, the PT Cruiser is toast, and, from the look of panel one, Tom Batiuk has no idea what is actually underneath a car’s hood.

Dial Up

There’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…

Our Journey Through the Past concludes. Battered and bruised, Funky awakens in the hospital to be greeted by the once young, beautiful, happy and carefree Holly. It was all a dream…an overlong, disjointed, at times depressing and incomprehensible dream.

Now, can we please check in with Cayla to see whether she’s grown a spine?

Note from TFH: Vacation time! For the next seven days, I leave you in the very capable guest-blogging hands of DavidO.