Tag: Les

Why Darin and Jessica made it back to the city in ohio called westview, thanks.

Like the way a screenwriter hits plot points like a grocery list, or how a baseball player touches all four bases while recording what is accepted as a run, our story arc checks all the fun boxes that make FW what it is. Smirk? Check. Thorough research? Check. ‘Cute’ punchlines? Not yet. Today’s milepost: exposition placed on stilts as high as the moon. In honor of such eloquence, this humble author will do the same…that is to say, put this post on stilts, too. Rather than succinctly say he saw the layoff coming and therefore took the lead parachute, Darin mentions that the writing on the wall was in fact done by hand; pausing in the middle to explain to us what he is doing with his jittery, withdrawal-addled hands. Such a scenario begs the observation: of course he took the offer, the handwriting on the wall said “we’re letting you go with this small severance – unless you go to rehab.” Would he have cleaned himself up? With that cocaine happy MBA degree of his? I think not. The encouragement is welcome, but also confusingly returned with nonsensical jibberish about how that won’t help feed his five dollar per day latte habit sold at starbucks. Speaking of which, thanks for feeding that habit, Les. Why not head over to Montoni’s with a box of rum balls next? Sure, Darin’s habit began innocently as a way to get face time with his boss and fit in at the office, but such efforts to parlay favor didn’t pay off…and now Darin is left holding the coffee bean bag…that sweet, sweet bag full of coffee.

McHurrrr!

Warning: some of the informative links below, while not NSFW, may be more graphic than you would appreciate

Today Summer shares the finite details of ACL reconstruction from the comfortable ‘hair chair.’ The admittedly graphic details of the surgery sends Les off to *HURRRR!* in the bathroom. Such a reaction makes me wonder how often Les managed to *HURRRR!* while learning about Lisa’s cancer. One can imagine a scenario where the doctor said something as basic as “Well, what happens is that mutated cells undergo rapid and uncontrolled replica-*HURRRR!*”. However, that’s in the past. We could go on for days about whether this associative-bulimia serves to bring back fond memories of Lisa (like everything else); or make easy jokes like “Haha, Grey’s anatomy makes me vomit too…and that’s just from the commericals!…am I right, people?”. The real story here is the use of the flexor hallucis longus (big toe muscle) in repairing Summer’s anterior cruciate ligament. According to the NIH, such a procedure actually requires a tendon from the knee or hamstring. The flexor hallucis longus (big toe muscle) graft is actually meant for achilies tendon repairs. Perhaps Les is fully aware of this and the emotional and financial investment required of a medical malpractice suit is enough to make him *HURRRR!* The more likely scenario is that Les knows the mistake in procedure will sever Summer’s hoop dreams…thus fulfilling the prophecy that fate treats all denizens of this strip as mere chew toys.

-Stuck*HURRRR!*ky:

Bum Town

Frustrated that her current physical state allows no opportunity to channel elevated testosterone levels, Summer is “Bumming”. Since kids these days consider “bumming” to be something completely different, we’ll assume the presence of Les in the house means Summer is actually “bummed out.” In any event, today’s story arc kicks off with the reemergence of our favorite couple from the second act: No, not chemotherapy and recurrence…but Darin and Jessica! The erstwhile popular girl and recovering nerd are back for reasons we’ll eventually find out. For now, we can count on two things. First, Les will break out the guest-hoodie and guest-members only jacket (apparently heating a house is for jerk faces). Second, Mopey Pete will be forced back to third wheel status – leading to a Pete-Funky suicide pact carved into the counter at Montoni’s. Finally, we just may find out if Darin and Jessica ever pursued their quirky fetish. As I used to say all the time…stay tuned.

-Stuckfunky

Was It Good for You, Too?



“So Coach took care of me.” On more than one occasion, too, judging by the wordless exchange in panel 1. So Bull turns out not to be a bully at all, but rather someone who goes to great lengths to protect meek Les while keeping his tough jock cred.

Why? What’s in it for Bull? Is Les doing Bull’s homework? Looking the other way as Bull moseys past his hall monitor machine gun nest? Has Les hacked into Westview’s sentient computer and hiked up his grades?

Oh, who the hell cares! Today’s the first anniversary of Son of Stuck Funky! Without making too big a deal of it, I’d just like to thank each and every one of you who reads this blog, and most especially the ones who contribute comments and ideas that keep things lively and make it worth coming back! It’s been a fun and interesting year…the highlight, of course, was logging in one Feburary morning to find that WordPress had shut us down!

Proof at last that Mr. Tom Batiuk (and his lawyers) know we exist. But the Snarkoalypse was short lived, and SoSF was back up and running in less than a day. A number of readers sent encouraging emails at that juncture. The biggest surprise was an email from the original Stuck Funky author! SF gave a little background on why the original blog petered out, and gave me his blessing in carrying on the snark. He also expressed some interest in guest-blogging. So I’m very pleased to announce that for the next seven days, I’m hopping into the rumble seat and turning over the keys to the original Stuck Funky!