Well is this ain’t the clumsiest, creepiest, most awkward come-on in the history of man and woman! Les’ usually dainty hands grow into cartoony, clublike mitts, and his eyebrows can almost be seen to wag as he clutches cringing Cayla to his bony breast, as the exposition-laden dialog balloon looming over their heads threatens to crush them both.
For all of us who’ve wondered what Cayla saw in Les…why she suffered his devotion to his dead first wife…why she married his ofay ass…well, it’s starting to make sense now. It’s finally starting to pay off for her (and her daughter), and she sends Les back to the tower to spin some more straw into gold.
Son of Stuck Funky 
“Actually, this bit of good news about the movie option being picked up has been has put me in a romantic mood.”
Yeah, no woman could resist a seduction technique like that….ON VULCAN.
Yeesh. One can only imagine how he sweet-talked during the rainy day nooner.
“Oh, Cayla…you are so…so SUITABLE. This coitus we are experiencing is providing me with adequate pleasure, it actually is.”
“Actually, this bit of good news about the movie option being picked up has been has put me in a romantic mood. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go fap while Annie tells me more details over the phone…”
I see this playing out similar to Penelope’s gambit in The Odyssey, with Cayla going in at night and deleting Les’ daily work from the computer.
Cayla can clearly hold out for the months it will take for Les to write the script.
No check, regardless of size, could make that embrace worth it IMO. We’ve all seen Les aroused by his cancer book before, but this is a little over the top.
Why, I’ve been reading FW for so long I actually remember when the cancer book and the possible movie-option based upon it was considered incredibly heavy and very, very serious business. Fortunately, though, we’re fortunate to live in a time when FW has evolved into a more of a “gag-a-day” strip, featuring wild gaps in continuity, sitcom-level tropes and all sorts of wacky hijinx instead of all that boring Patron Saint Of Death crap that dominated the strip in the late 00’s and early 10’s. TheAuthor isn’t afraid to add his special brand of zaniness to a story, not even when it’s about a debilitating stroke or a cancer book and I for one applaud this new direction.
Imagine that, Les is turned on by his own perceived literary success. I’m also not surprised to see that Les has all the romantic prowess of a friendly neighborhood rapist.
Les Moore is Exhibit A in the case of people who can’t separate sex from death.
I hope Rumpelstiltskin wins his bet in this version.
“Thinking about my dead wife made me horny, but I’m willing to settle for you.”
its neck to neck in the race to see who comes up with lamest movie script plot Les or Judge Parker
“In the main, I’m sure that large check has left you prepared to accept my Vienna Sausage of love!”
“Yeah, gimme dat check, sucka. Now get yo’ midget dick, boney white ass behind dat typewriter and write a muthafuggin’ script! When y’all is finished may e we slap skins. [Car honks outside.] Oh, dat’s Principal Nate. We goin’ out. Bye!”
“Goodness. She’s gone back to being a Negro. Oh, bother. This will never do. Looks like it’s just me, this bottle of baby oil, and a stack of Lisa tapes tonight. *smirk*”
Uh, Beanie? Love ya, but…
[img]https://sonofstuckfunky.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/ease-up-friend.gif[/img]
Cayla only “loves” Leslie for his script writing abilities and the money these hypothetical abilities might rake in. Which, as far as we know, are nonexistent.
Frankly, I think Cayla hates Les almost as much as we do. I’m starting to like this Cayla character.
Les wants, Les tries, Les gets shot down…just like the good old days in high school…nice walk down Memory Lane.
It’s hilarious that she doesn’t even give him a peck. Bodily shoves him away like a smelly drunk on the street. And it’s not like you can write a movie script in an hour or two.
“Love the little stipend from the book club, Spankie, but I want a LOT more chedda before I let you anywhere near my bidniss. Get busy, Fuzzface.”
Um, and what happens to Crayola’s nose between the 2nd and 3rd panel? Like I said, she’s reverting!
Just…ewww.
The real question here is:
Is Cayla pushing Les away because she’s icked out that he only feels romantic when he has the opportunity to write about Lisa in various media projects?
OR
Is she pushing Les away because he considers the movie option being picked up to be “good news” and she knows what happens to happy people in the hands of Batiuk?
C’mon Cayla, you can’t spare five minutes?
Less really doesn’t mind the Cayla lockdown, that just means he has to have sex with the person he loves the most — himself.
Either this will be the first TV movie to win an Oscar, or Les will die of writer’s block.
I know this strip is meant to be ¼ inch from reality, but I get the impression that Batominc doesn’t know what an “inch” is.
Cayla appears to be trying to pull of the most convuluted long con scheme in the history of gold-digging.
I am convinced that the straight hair Cayla has is merely a wig.
Facts (don’t have strips, sorry):
Sometime in 2010, Cayla went from the tradtional afro to a Bob Marley reggae haircut. While this looked less like dreads and more like some sort of branched fungal growth, it was indeed her actual hair.
In 2011, we next saw her with a bandana. This is about the time after she pleasured Les Moore.
Finally, we see her with smooth silky brown hair. This is not her natural hair color–it is a wig.
We don’t know WHY she did this–had it been up to Les, she would be donning a Lisa wig and a latex mask when she’s around him.
Are they any NORMAL interactions between people in this strip?
@ S.P. Charles: Creepy
@Helskor, five minutes. Come on.
@Duane: You mean getting in the mood after receiving a check for writing a book about your sainted dead wife on whom you’re still fixated while married to another woman is not normal?
No surprise that a turn-on for Les is something that is A)about him and B) about his wife who died of cancer.
Withering: I think Batiuk understands what an inch is. I think it’s the “reality” part that he’s having a tough time with.
So this is what gets Les feeling horny.
You just know from this that Les is the kind of guy who does a lot of “Who’s the King?” and “Worship me like a God!” in the bedroom. On top of all the rest, his self-absorption extends to the bedroom as well.
You’re welcome.
The master plan, Les thinks, “First, go to TV set and pull out the old VHS tape that has the original movie “Brian’s Song” that was an ABC movie of the week in 1971. That was the movie about that football player who died of cancer. No one remembers that movie. Good thing I never bought into that DVD technology. Second, find the movie. I’m sure it’s about half way through the tape. Third, watch the movie, taking careful notes throughout. Fourth, write my script, changing all the references from Brian Piccalo to Lisa. Gotta remember to change all references from Gale Sayers to me. I should have this script done by midnight.”
Finally, when I talk to Cayla, I’ll quote that famous line that Flounder says in Animal House. “Oh boy, is this great!” I’m such a fu****g genius!
OT, but I just saw that Jonathan Winters died. In terms of comedy, he was the exact opposite of Funky Winkerbean.
speaking of videotapes, I’m sure there’s a Lisa-tape labeled “exploiting my death for big bucks” somewhere.
TFH, please be more specific about what I need to ease up on. Please select:
1) “Summer has a penis” references. (Remember THAT?)
2) WLNBA references. Yes, highly offensive, but hard to dispute.
3) Summer on Kareesha lesbian action references. At least a have a lot of company with this one.
4) Cayla Going Back To Being Black scenarios. Hey, don’t look at me! Tombat thought it would be ultra-edgy to put the world’s whitest white man in a steamy relationship with a Black chick. Then he promptly dialed her Blackness setting down to “Doris Day.” I’m just supposing to what degree she would return to her native Blackness once she had her long-awaited-payoff in hand.
5) My snide references to the State of Ahia, its Union Lunkheads, and its eagerness to re-elect a Peesident who did a bad job.
6) My face.
7) All of the above
8) A Tale of Two Cities
9) None of the above.
It’s hard to tell a naturally offensive wanker like myself to ease up. We don’t know where to start!
@Beanie: I think it was the post, with an ultra jive-talking Cayla and the “vienna sausage of love”.
@ Smartjock: I had to read the script of the 1971 Brian’s Song in English class in 7th grade. True story.
Gracias, Señor. Well, in the words of the great Barbara Billingsley, “I speak jive!”
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Oh, @Beanie, as a gay, San Francisco left-winger, I forgive you your trespasses. 🙂
Does Batiuk really read the comments on this site? Really?
TOM BATIUK, YOU HACK SON OF A BITCH!!!!
BEANIE:
7) All of the above.
Look, I know Beanie is on the edge, but you have to look at Cayla’s transformation from Afro-American to mulatto, to nearly-Les, and wonder what the heck TB is doing.