Can you imagine us years from today, sharing a parkbench quietly…


After a whirlwind week in the Big City, the old friends sit on their park bench like bookends…and bitch and moan about life. Please explain, if you can: who are the “greedy, amoral morons” who have ruined Funky’s life? It was barely two years ago that he was the cover boy for Pizza World magazine. Now his empire is down to just one store. And the reader is expected to believe that this is the fault of anyone besides the inept, ill-tempered, unlikeable jerk whose cost-cutting, penny-pinching management style ran the business into the ground?

Or maybe said “morons” are really those who hate on TB’s Pulitzer-worthy “writing”? It isn’t the first time that the author has used his strip to take us Philistines to task…

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0 responses to “Can you imagine us years from today, sharing a parkbench quietly…

  1. O.B. Dan

    Hey, Lisa! Look who’s got his fat ass in your place on the park bench…talk to Somebody…you have a Connection in the next life…one little spark by the greasy buildup in the corner of the grill, that’s all it takes…

    My take is that the “greedy, amoral morons” are the thieves on Wall Street who played such a huge part in the current economic disaster. There’s always the chance this one-panel lament was hastily done as a “tribute” to the good folks at Goldman Sachs and Paulson; but, even if Batiuk did this strip a year ago, things haven’t gotten any better and its message is undiminished.

  2. David O

    Is some schmuck in Ohio really important enough to get a bench in Central Park dedicated to someone who didn’t even live in New York? Between all of the weird ghost cats and longest, worst death scene ever, I don’t remember Saint Lisa doing anything for New York City.

    “Lisa really liked the Empire State building– can you name the observation deck after her?”

  3. “And the reader is expected to believe that this is the fault of anyone besides the inept, ill-tempered, unlikeable jerk whose cost-cutting, penny-pinching management style ran the business into the ground?”

    Of course. Nothing is ever the fault of Batiuk’s poor, suffering Boomer babies. And is the bench in Central Park seriously dedicated to Lisa? Because if it is, then I know Batiuk’s gonna try to make it happen in real life to better promote his pseudo-charity/ad campaign.

  4. Sgt. Saunders

    It just galls me that an ignorant, greedy moron can so severly cut back on quality pizza ingredients to render the entire business worthless, all the while keeping his eyes upon the prize. Now, he has brought shame to the name Montoni in New York. Where will it end for Funkenstein?

  5. Of course TB’s attempt to re-write his comic strip history does not go far outside of his own megla-mind.
    Who can forget FW using duct-tape to make repairs on his “flagship” store & then being the direct cause of the infamous “Pizza Intervention”.
    Then the hiring of only friends…free coffee to the postal carrier and the mysterious disappearance of his day-manager (anyone remember Kahn?)

    Respect has to be earned…these lowlifes of Westview deserve what they are getting.
    Next you know TB will give us a “funkatizes version of It’s a Wonderful Life”

  6. redbird

    Mela: Yeah, Les had a plaque to Lisa’s memory installed on a park bench in New York City some time ago. Now, whether this is the bench remains to be seen.

    This comic parodies itself so much it’s…oh, never mind. Just start taking notes:

    “Life is unfair.”
    “It’s unfair that life is unfair.”
    “It’s unfair that it’s unfair that life is unfair.”
    Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

  7. billytheskink

    This would be interesting if this “greedy amoral moron: was a specific character. FW hasn’t had a villain in way too long.

    As I understand it, New Yorkers are pretty proud of their pizza. Maybe Funky should have thought about that before trying to sell them cheap pizza conceived in Ohio…

  8. TFHackett

    Redbird:
    Mela: Yeah, Les had a plaque to Lisa’s memory installed on a park bench in New York City some time ago. Now, whether this is the bench remains to be seen.

    I’m thinking that this is not the bench. I don’t think the bench was across from water as this one appears to be.

    I wonder if Ann Apple bought a plaque for the park bench she used to sleep on?

  9. I know good New York pizza and Montoni’s is no New York pizza.

    (to parapharse Lloyd Benson)

  10. O.B. Dan

    Respect has to be earned…

    Much like endings.

  11. Respect can be earned by creating worthy characters who emulate worthy actions and lead by example.

    But this mantra of “endings have to be earned” has no definiton except to say that we must suffer through terrible story-telling before any single arch is completed.

    Just because TB says so?

  12. No ending in Funkytown is ever “earned” – you just die pointlessly of cancer, alone and unloved, even if your family is technically there, because Batiuk can’t fathom the concept of existence being anything less than miserable.

  13. …well stated.
    He does love a miserable exisitence