Kneed-ful Things

Link to today’s F*nky W*nkerbean. If link doesn’t work, try copying and pasting it into a new brower window.

A week’s worth of strips bring us back to the Moore kitchen, and absentee father Les is finally up to speed on what transpired while he was off reliving the college angst we never knew about.

The forfeit of a tournament game by the She-Goats over a rather routine injury to their co-captain has caused massive unrest among the FW snark community. Batiuk has outdone himself this time: his “quarter-inch from reality” has expanded to about a light year. Anyone familiar with team sports played at any level can see the patent absurdity of an entire team throwing in the towel under these circumstances.

In the real world:

  • The players would want to finish the game, and try even harder to win to honor the injured player’s sacrifice.
  • The injured player would be mortified, and would dissuade the rest of the team from taking such action.
  • The coach would never allow his team to unilaterally decide to forfeit a game, particularly during a tournament.

But in the Funkiverse, this is business as usual. Les isn’t a bit surprised by the ridiculous turn of events, and Panel 2 Summer is passing “aw shucks” sidelong looks of love at her bestie.

Comments Off on Kneed-ful Things

Filed under Uncategorized

0 responses to “Kneed-ful Things

  1. I can handle using the “link” to a legit site.
    TB is so ate-up with himself (as portrayed through his Avatar Lester.
    20-30 irregular snarkers pronouncing that the “emperor has no clothes” is all it took.

    We so know you’re reading this….while trying to get over Lynn Johnsons FBOFW success or Gary Trudeau being just 1/64th from reality.
    To quote John Belushi: “My advice to you is to drink heavily”

    Okay, today; the beginning of the lead in story of how Sum-mor fights to overcome all medical odds from this devastating injury (the knee of a 16 year old without a drivers license ) and regain her prominence as Queen bitach of the courts…. love that growl. A book in the making….then a made for Lifetime channel movie….maybe even tele-mundo.
    But in the end….it doesn’t matter because TB never met a story arch he ended. this’ll just be dropped for the further adventures of Porgy & Mudhead in Westview vs. Communist Martyrs High.

  2. Sean D.

    “We’re staying put until they book you or cut you loose”?

    I’m sorry, did TB accidently cut and paste that from the strip in two months where S*mm*r, her dreams of a college scholarship as blown as her knee, is arrested with F*nky’s step-son after they knocked over W*stv**w’s only other resturant?

  3. John

    GAH! The girl in the last panel. The one saying the “Grey’s Anatomy” quip. She wants to eat my soul! Or my skin! Whichever, she’s extremely creepy.

  4. Jeffcoat Wayne

    “It’s like Grey’s Anatomy without the hunky doctors”? Given TB’s penchance for hard luck stories, it looks more like an episode of “Quincy M.E.” to me.

  5. TFHackett

    Haha! @Sean D.: my legal counsel advises me that it’s probably ok to spell out the characters’ names without using asterisks, but thanks for erring on the side of caution!

    Is it me, or is any other player on this basketball team drawn with any consistency? It seems like there are about fifty different girls on this team that just swap in and out from panel to panel. But yeah, the Grey’s Anatomy chick is creepy: she looks like Tom Petty.

  6. billytheskink

    I knew it! The brunette peering over Summer’s bed yesterday (and talking Greys Anatomy today) IS Rebecca Lobo. Two points for me.
    What’s unclear to me, though, is why Lobo is in John Roche’s hospital room with Tim Hardaway.

    Also, if you drew a mustache on the blond, I could make the case that she looks like Billy Keller…

  7. Epicus Doomus

    “Book you”: yet another thinly-veiled TB attack on the medical profession. Because the hospital, with all its hang-ups and silly rules about visitors and everything, is just like a prison! If he keeps it up with this kind of biting satire, the AMA is going to slap a cease & desist on his ass right quick!

    Bull is presumably slumped down in the seat of his Buick Skylark with a 2/3rd’s empty pint of rock & rye next to him, wondering how he went from star athlete and feared bully to emasculated “leader” of a big bunch of quitters.

    Someone really should point out that FW is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by the creators of “Greys Anatomy”, ABC Television or its subsidiaries or affiliates. “GA” is a registered trademark and any use of that trademark without the expressed written consent of ABC Television is strictly prohibited.

  8. John

    TFHackett: Great. Just great. Now I can’t stop imagining all the girls breaking out into a rendition of “Don’t Come Round Here No More”, while complete with Summer doing the “WHOA!” chorus. While the nurse looks on in horror and consternation…

  9. bobanero

    John: I’m thinking more “Even the Losers (Get Lucky Sometimes)”

  10. bobanero

    By the way, posting the link instead of the content is a bit inconvenient, but it’s a damn good alternative to a legal battle.

  11. loco moco

    While perhaps not strictly legally necessary — the continued use of asterisks, it seems to me, is entirely appropriate due to their resemblance to tiny. puckered sphincters.

    The first asterisk does seem slightly offset, shouldn’t it be “Fu*ky W*inkerbean”?

  12. Sgt. Saunders

    loco moco has a strong point. In addition, I propose that the term “Winkerbean” be defined as a “puckered sphincter.”

  13. Jeffcoat Wayne

    @ TFHackett: “the Grey’s Anatomy chick is creepy: she looks like Tom Petty.”

    I’m trying to see it, but all I’m getting is some weird Peppermint Patty meets The Jetsons hybrid.

  14. TFHackett

    I propose that the term “Winkerbean” be defined as a “puckered sphincter.”

    There’s already a term for “puckered sphincter”: batiuk (BAT´·tick).

  15. Sgt. Saunders

    OK, then “Winkerbean” can be a pulsating sphincter. Bat-tick. Right. More like Bat Guano, although Col. Bat Guano might take offense.

  16. David O

    Now that you’re just linking to an outside source and not publishing anything straight from the damn comic, I can’t wait to see the next cease-and-desist letter;

    “Please stop making fun of my comic! It’s about cancer, people with only one arm, PTSD, alcoholism, depression and slowly going insane inside of a nursing home!”

  17. TB’s official FW website is so out of date and pure lame.
    No explanation of story lines… characters that don’t exist…blog comments months old.

    So TB, as you read todays snarks while trying to shut us down … why not go to work on your own site.
    Hey…try this one writing technique I learned in high school… finish a story.

  18. John

    Yeah, looking at the cast pages on the official site, I think only a few of them have actually turned up on panel since time skip #2.

    Well, it’s difficult to get to the lives of the little people when we have the Wise Author to worship.

  19. Hey – while I despise everything that happens in or around Storrs, especially the teams that play for Gino, they are actually hard-working, extremely talented young women who are supremely motivated to win. Errr, to WIN.

    What I mean is: NO FREAKING WAY would Rebecca Lobo be caught dead in this situation. If she had died on the court, her corpse would have been slapping her teammates silly if they had dared to forfeit a game “to be with” her.

  20. Sgt. Saunders

    Hey – SoSF got a nod from Dean’s Comic Booth.

    I agree with The Ridger and would say there are many, many more teams that feel the same way – from Rec League to the NCAA. Look no further than NC State when the great coach Kay Yow got cancer. She missed 16 games in the 2006-2007 season and the girls continued to play their hearts out. The event that TB set forth would not be likely to happen at any level of organized sport. Bull is as guilty as anyone on the team for letting them get away with such asinine behavior. More so actually. By the way, you didn’t see any of us wanting to quit when TB kneecapped SoSF.

  21. Oh, I agree – probably all the team feel that way. I just mentioned UConn because billytheskink mentioned Lobo…

  22. TFHackett

    Sgt, thank you for the heads up re: Dean’s Comic Booth!

  23. Riff Chick

    Keisha, final panel: God, why don’t you just kiss her already.

    I can’t wait for Batiuk to get “struggles of being gay” wrong.

  24. billytheskink

    I only mentioned Lobo because the frightening Greys Anatomy fan looked kinda like her. Not as much as Keisha looks like Tim Hardaway, but still…

  25. O.B. Dan

    But yeah, the Grey’s Anatomy chick is creepy: she looks like Tom Petty.

    And he looks pretty creepy himself.