An Inconvenient Douche

Unlike Tom Batiuk, I strive to keep my personal opinions out of my “writing”. But since he insists on preaching to us (through Jim the Science Guy) about climate change (I don’t call it global warming), I’m going to vent a little “greenhouse gas” here myself: I’m one of “those people” who  do not believe that the planet is irreversibly heating up, even after the just-ended record-warm winter (which I, not being a winter sportsman, enjoyed the hell out of). There is at least as much credible scientific opinion to disprove climate change as there is to prove it.

That’s my opinion, and you, dear reader, are welcome to your own. On to today’s strip. We find Cory actually awake and paying attention in class (because even Cory is concerned about Global Warming). He shares that he “heard someone on the radio” (these kids and their radios these days, am I right?) call Global Warming “a hoax”. Cory gives a sly, demure tilt of his head, as if to say “Gee, Mr. Kablichnik, that feller on the radio can’t be right…can he? Say it ain’t so, Jim.” Jim wearily throws up his hands; he’s heard the deniers (such fools!), and sets Cory, and the rest of us, straight.

For your pleasure: previous strips dealing with the “fact” of Global Warming:

May 25, 2008: Same premise as today’s strip (and how long has Rana been in this class?) But I gotta give props to Jim for mentioning a classic Randy Newman song.

December 5, 2010: “Of course Global Warming can actually mean we get more snow. That doesn’t make sense to you?”

June 23, 2011: Principal Nate is on board with the whole global warming thing, to the point of inserting it into random conversations:


Comments Off on An Inconvenient Douche

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0 responses to “An Inconvenient Douche

  1. John

    Jim: “Questions?”

    Cory: “Yes, why a lime green shirt?”

    Jim: “It was the only shirt that matched my goldenrod splotches tie.”

  2. TB had better watch it, or “Funky Winkerbean” discussions will be banned from “The Comics Curmudgeon” as “Mallard Fillmore” discussions have been.

  3. Charlene

    I’m sorry to hear this. Goodbye.

  4. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Did Batiuk mean to publish this strip a month prior to Earth Day, or is he working on something even more politically-nauseating that day? So, basically, Global Warming is a fact that Batiuk and his proxy just told us nothing about because the strip begins after Jim explain the entire concept in a nutshell. Facts that aren’t explained = HOAX. Better go warm your globes somewhere else tonight, Tom.

  5. TheDiva

    A good teacher would have explained why he considers the “hoax” theory to be inaccurate. A great teacher would have gone into detail on the positions for both sides and involved his students in a thoughtful and engaging debate. A terrible teacher just says “I’m right, they’re wrong, end of story. Next!”

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Well, perhaps Professor Know-It-All can take the class on a field trip to Moore Manor, where Les can break out Dead Lisa’s “Everything You Need To Know About Climate Change But Were Unable To Ask Me Directly Because I’m Dead” tape, which she no doubt recorded during the Kabilchnik (or whatever) sessions. That will settle the debate once and for all.

  7. Riff Chick

    None of the “evidence” for the “hoax” hypothesis I’ve seen has come from credible scientific organizations – just crackpot organizations that quote mine and publish biased papers.

    Since science is science, and not “debate,” there is no automatic “two sides to every issue.” Just like the “evolution debate,” where people at the Creationist-led Discovery Institute try to get people to “teach the controversy” – really this means they want public school science teachers to give equal time to “Intelligent Design” as they do to evolution, because apparently ID is just as viable and relevant as evolutionary biology (spoiler alert: it’s not.)

    Show us your “evidence to the contrary” that gives “equal weight” to the the climate change Earth is experiencing. Otherwise you’re as full of bullshit as TomBat writing about writing. Or, as Charlene said, “Goodbye.”

  8. Riff Chick

    And for the record, the way TomBat presents the reality of climate change is ineffective and snarky. It’s old-fashioned and misleading to call it “global warming” since overall climate change can mean harsher cold in some places and rising temperatures in others. It’s another example of “show don’t tell” (whcih I find astounding how much he can forgo in a visual medium of storytelling). He TELLS us climate change is a fact without demonstrating, and sets Prof. K as a preacher rather than a teacher, and students as strawmen.

    Oh, and the earth will be fine, no doubt. I mean, humans will go extinct SOME day, probably by our own doing. Then the earth will be totally in the clear.

  9. Riff Chick

    look, maybe i was a bit sensitive in my response, but i’m SO SICK of seeing CONSTANT right wing clap trap in the political scene (in America, at least). Ban all contraception. Force women to tell their employers why they’re on birth control. The president’s a secret Muslim (and Islam = Satan worship). Gays are sexual predators that don’t deserve civil equality. The health care mandate is socialism. Taxes are socialism. Any attempt to close the gap between the poorest and richest is socialism. Climate change doesn’t exist because then we’ll have to make policy changes that cause profits to drop 0.5%. Corporations and zygotes deserve more legal standing than teachers and unionized workers.

    it makes me ill.

  10. TFHackett

    A bit sensitive, yes.

  11. Little Lulu

    Riff Chick: Don’t back down. Your first comment is correct. Good for you and to Charlene above you.

  12. Tb just jumps all over the place. This strip as are most of his Sunday strips are just out of no where.

  13. Beanie Wanker

    Jesus H Christ, some of you need to calm down. Deciding to leave an enjoyable forum over a difference of opinion is a bit silly. Even though we can all agree that Flunky Wankerbean is a train wreck of a cartoon written by a smug, arrogant, pompous douchebag, there are likely to be issues on which we will disagree. Ya got your politics, religion, sexual preference, favorite sports teams, and on and on. I swear to Christ, some people can NOT deal with encountering people with views other than their own. Well… DEAL with it. Or at least try.

    A close cousin of the “can’t bear to hear opposing views” person is the “all people who disagree with me are evil or stupid” person. These are people who just need to lighten the fark up.

    As for BatDork, he needs to let the Garry Truedopes of the world do the political preaching in the funny papers. BatTwit has already crammed his love of tax increases down our throats. Now he’s all over this Global Warming pseudo-science. Surprising he hasn’t linked his cancer whining to a plea for government-run socialized health care. I guess that’s next.

    So chill out and have a beer or something, ladies. No YAGE (Yet Another Grand Exit) needed.

    By the way, for what it’s worth, the Earth has gone through many cycles of warming and cooling, even before humans arrived. We’re just a blip. Besides, Al Gore already owns all the rights to make a profit on the global warming scare, so the rest of us should just calm down and get riled up about something else.

  14. Personally I do think you do a good job of keeping your opinions that don’t have to do with Funky Winkerbean separeate from this website. I think you do a good job.

  15. sourbelly

    TFH, I think you are 100% wrong about this Climate Change issue, and I could waste several lines of text explaining why. And lots of photographic and other scientific evidence. And, your statement, “There is at least as much credible scientific opinion to disprove climate change as there is to prove it” is pure, unadulterated bullshit. Damn you! Sorry, it just is. This is serious shit!

    But I won’t. Today’s strip sucks. Like others, I’m not sure if I’ll continue here.

  16. Beanie Wanker

    Well, never know where people’s hot buttons are until you press one. For these gals, it was “global warming.” Hell, I got MY balls chewed off for suggesting that Summer was drawn to look like a guy. For some reason, someone took that as a slap at transgender folks.

    Look, we’re snarking over here. Every now and then, you might get cheesed off at something that’s said in passing. Just let it go. Relax.

  17. O.B. Dan

    I opened the comments section with every intention of letting it all go, but Riff Chick did it all, and did it so well, and I agree with her on all three posts.

    The question isn’t whether or not there’s global warming, or whatever one might call it. The question is the cause – is it a natural phenomenon occurring on its own, or is it a man-made catastrophe, or is it a natural occurrence made worse by man?

    And as much as I usually smirk in disagreement when it’s purported that Batiuk or somebody in his position is using a popular medium to preach, it’s hard to deny after seeing those strips all together.

  18. I can tell you one thing that I’m not going anywhere. Yes I’m more of a lurker than a poster but I’ll keep on reading.
    If you have enjoyed this site up to this point I don’t see why it can’t continue. Okay you might not agree with todays post but why should that ruin it for you?

  19. sourbelly

    After a moment of reflection, I’d like to say this: Hey, I had a shitty week at work, which is still continuing into the friggin’ weekend, so maybe I overreacted some. Sorry. I regularly disagree with friends of mine about such fundamental issues. It doesn’t matter. So, for better or for worse (!), I’ll keep commenting on this site.

  20. Beanie Wanker

    The last few posts beat me to the punch, but I’ll pile on anyway.

    TFH has put together a VERY entertaining website and forum. I’ve enjoyed his wit and the wit of those who post here. I can’t imagine how some of you can turn your back on this pleasant and good natured guy just because he expressed an opinion you don’t like. And again, it was just an opinion. TFH himself is not responsible for destroying the planet, and nothing he says one way or the other can affect our climate. Also, he said nothing to personally insult any of you. TFH is a gentleman, and I know he works hard (in private conversations) to avoid and prevent hard feelings among his participants.

    So as I said, lighten up and get off his ass. He’s as entitled to an opinion as any of us. If you disagree, fine. And if this was all it took to kill your enjoyment of this excellent website, well, I can’t help you.

  21. Sgt. Saunders

    Politics, schmolitics – whatever emerges from Jims Scientific Piehole is always accompanied by a haughty, oh-so superior attitude that I just want to Kaz-punch him into another dimension. Like now. And by the way, that necklace that CW sports from the Wilma Flintstone collection must be having an effect, he’s really starting to look like a woman, and not just A woman – THE woman – Lisa.

  22. DOlz

    Science is not composed of opinions, but facts, verified facts. If you’re not convinced climate change is a problem may I suggest you check out youtube poster, potholer54. He has done a series of videos debunking Christopher Monckton, a payed climate change denier. He provide sources for everything he presents. This is a serious problem and we are fast approaching a tipping point on the climate.

  23. DOlz

    p.s. I am very sorry to see some people threatening to leave our community over your comments. To those people let me just say if you disagree with someone engage them in polite discussion. No one has every been convinced by turning your back on them..

  24. Riff Chick

    BatTwit has already crammed his love of tax increases down our throats. Now he’s all over this Global Warming pseudo-science. Surprising he hasn’t linked his cancer whining to a plea for government-run socialized health care. I guess that’s next.

    yeah, taxes suck. But investing in the future generation with good public schools – the generation that will be taking care of you when you’re too old and incapacitated to use the toilet on your own – is a “necessary evil” so to speak.

    If we’d had an option for basic socialized health care everyday uninsured people (citizens, NOT “illegals”) wouldn’t have to pump costs by going to the ER whenever they had a chest cold. Don’t knock it til you’re on the other side of that fence. The Free Market doesn’t solve every damn problem. In fact it seems to create a lot of ’em. Besides, our worthy legislators seem pretty damn happy with THEIR government-provided health care.

  25. Helskor

    C’mon people, agree to disagree about non-Funky issues and save the venom for the real enemy. The Dark Lord of Medina wants us to fight among ourselves on here.

  26. Professor Fate

    re Climate change – it’s happening – we’re the cause. That’s pretty much it. There really is very little doubt if any in the scientific community about it – the severity perhaps other than that not so much. The argument such as it is has devolved into people who know the science vs people who either don’t know it or whose living depends on them not getting it- radio talks show hosts, senators and paid oil company shills. It resembles the debate over cold fusion except that the stakes are higher.
    It is very important issue facing us as a society in the world- and from what i’ve seen we’re failing the test in spectacular fashion.
    which isn’t that shocking. Throughout history as societies have failed again and again to deal with environmental changes – the Mayans, the Vikings in Greenland, Easter Island – (Sicily was once covered in trees) and disaster followed. Why – a combination of hurbis, folly and just pure human cussedness “We’ve always done it like this.”
    I figure we’re doomed – and if the current thinking about the amount of Methane gas trapped under the tundra in Siberia is correct – we’re in worse shape than that.

  27. Beanie Wanker

    Helskor says: C’mon people, agree to disagree about non-Funky issues and save the venom for the real enemy. The Dark Lord of Medina wants us to fight among ourselves on here.

    I completely agree. Enough. And a double “enough” to the taxes and healthcare tangent! There are more than enough websites where you can engage in online shouting matches about ALL of these subjects, and more.

    Let’s just not do it here, okay?

    Nobody ever changed anybody’s opinion this way. It’s a useless exercise. You get riled up, and you vent and you spew, but and the end of the day, nobody has changed. So let’s stop it now, please, and go back to what we like to do here.

    I think we do all agree that whenever Tombat has an opinion on something -ANYTHING – and uses the comic strip to express it, he comes off like a pompous windbag. This is yet another tedious example. He reminds me of a local well known sports talk show caller. This guy is old and very cranky, and expresses strong opinions peppered with salty language. He’s a blowhard, and says a lot of the same things call after call. But the interesting thing is I very rarely disagree with anything he says. I just hate the way he’s such a windbag and a-hole about it all.

    And so it should be with BatYuck. Let’s leave the debate about the content of his opinions to those OTHER sites and have some fun pointing and laughing at the jackass way he delivers his messages.

    Peace, all. Okay??

  28. Smirks 'R Us

    So what’s going on around here today? Never mind I read it. Way to go Beanie being the voice of reason today. Agree on all counts. Can we now get back to snarking?

    Damn Helskor, “Dark Lord of Medina” that is some funy stuff right there. Can we nominate DLoM for inclusion in the Batiuktionary?

  29. John

    I’m seeing a lot of “you must also” posts today.

    “You think -this- about -this-? Then you MUST ALSO think all these other things. Because, if you think one thing wrong, then everything about you is infused with wrongness and evil.”

    Which is usually the time I leave any place, RL or online. When the “you must also” stuff shows up.
    It’s been fun, all.

  30. Merry Pookster

    Well the good news is that apparently since this is summers senior year… the same holds true for super K, jinx, Rana AND CORY!
    Great… then they can be cast aside like oh so many others. God…unless they all end up at KSU and still live at home.

    Now excuse me please but I got to put on a sweater ’cause it’s getting a little chilly outside

  31. TheDiva

    Look, can’t we all just agree that no matter what position he takes on an issue, Batiuk is sure to state it in such a condescending faux-witty manner that it will piss us off no matter what we believe?

  32. Beanie Wanker

    Hilarious that every kid in the class looks half asleep. Just how long did Mark Twain ramble on??

  33. Sgt. Saunders

    Better watch that Dark Lord of Medina rap – we’ll wind up with another ersatz comic book cover – Dark Lord of Medina vs. the Illuminati, or some shait – and another Sunday morning will be tarnished. Where’s that damn mailman when you need him?

  34. Charles

    Avoiding the third rail topic, which, truly, you should not have brought up in the first place, I just have to point out TB’s remarkable achievement of having Jim conform to every negative stereotype of a liberal advocate of global climate change.

    If he had any guile as a writer, I’d almost suspect that it was intentional.

    TFH sez: Which I shouldn’t have brought up???

  35. Louder

    1. WTH is Cory wearing around his neck? Is he THAT big of a fan of Marge Simpson?

    2. TFH is entitled to his own opinion, I’m hanging around for some more prime, snarky, fun!

  36. bobanero

    I agree that we need to keep the discussion directed to Funky snark and keep political discussions out of this (there’s real good reasons why Josh enforces this rule on his web site). While TFH sort of fired the initial volley, he also brought out a very valid point – Global Warming is Kablichnik’s equivalent of the “I helped with the delivery” joke, or Les’s “today’s kids are worthless unethical lazy bums who don’t think twice about taking content from the internet and claiming it as their own work”, or Bull’s “I can only speak in inappropriate malapropisms but somehow am able to remain employed as an Athletic Director”, or Lisa’s “video tape for every occasion”. The fact is that Funky Winkerbean has turned into a constant re-iteration of running jokes with very little variation between them. This is a scientific fact that cannot be disputed.

  37. bobanero

    Another thing that I was thinking about last night (yet another major inconsistency in the Funky-verse). Lisa was a teen pregnancy when she gave birth to Summer, right? And Cory and Maddie are Funky and Crazy’s kids, right? So, unless they also knocked up their wives in high school, shouldn’t Summer be several years ahead of them?

  38. Jeffcoat Wayne

    bobanero, Darin was the teen pregnancy. Summer is thus more saintly because she was born in wedlock.

    Whatever anyone believes about global warming, the point is that today’s strip does not make a credible argument one way or another, even though Batiuk smugly believes he has set the record straight once and for all. He didn’t. Today’s strip starts out with Jim closinghis lecture: “That… is what global warming is all about.” And it’s a fact. Only problem is, the “fact” was not presented, unless the panel of the melting desk globe is his full proof. TheDiva summed this up best wayyyyy back at the beginning of this thread. We mock the “evidence” of global warming presented in today’s strip because, simply, none was presented. For all we know, that globe on Jim’s desk is just a rolled gallon of blueberry ice cream he put out that morning for effect. Liquid-based solids melt. Scientific fact!

  39. Les' Yellow Tux

    I disagree with TFH’s beliefs about global warming. But that has nothing to do with the fun I have coming here everyday and reading the excellent snark. One has nothing to do with the other! Hell, I’m an atheist, and if I left every community and website that mentioned gods I’d be pretty lonely! I thank TFH for all the work he puts into SoSF.

    But what gets me is Batuik using Jim as a mouthpiece is the final panel. There is a difference between a scientific fact and a scientific theory. The fact is that the mean global temperature of the earth has been increasing since post WWII. The theory is that “global warming” caused by carbon emissions is the cause. But scientific theories are treated as fact by the scientific community so that research can be done to either prove or disprove the assertion. Three may be multiple causes of the temperature rise. There may be other, unknown causes. I personally believe that carbon emissions may only be accelerating the exit from the last ice age. But that’s the fun of the scientific method – the research that leads to new discoveries and new thinking. Jim (and by extension Batuik) believes it’s his way or the highway – and that’s the problem with this whole strip in essence. Batuik is absolutely closed to any suggestion that his view about any topic may not be the only one, and it comes through daily in the sheer arrogance of his avitars.

    Sorry for the TL;DR.

  40. TFHackett

    Bobanero, thanks for commenting. I took a look at Comics Curmudgeon’s “FAQ/Socratic dialogue” regarding his own posting and discussion policies. It’s very funny (of course it is, Josh wrote it) and I’m thinking of applying it here, including to myself! I’m truly surprised at the reaction to today’s post. Thanks to everyone who gave an opinion (particularly those who defended me, regardless of your own views) and to those who are leaving, I will miss you, and you are going to miss the 40th anniversary week! C’mon, stay!

  41. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$$$

    Did I just wander into a Mallard Fillmore forum by accident??

  42. Epicus Doomus

    OK, let’s all calm down, step back and remember the REAL point here: that being that this comic strip sucks, it isn’t funny and it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. I think this is something we can all agree upon and continue to bond over, am I right?

  43. TFHackett

    I hope so.

  44. Epicus Doomus

    FW hatred cuts across all races, creeds, colors and beliefs. Remember, right this very moment, somewhere in Valhalla, Nixon is approaching Hunter Thompson with a copy of the Sunday funnies in his hand, asking, “do you get this?”.

  45. Beanie Wanker

    Kudos to Les’ Yellow Tux for a very thoughtful and well-spoken post. Once again, I stand in line. Anything you want from the vendos, my friend, it’s on me.

    Personal appeal to John — I hope you reconsider. Your improvised interpolated dialogs are a welcome and consistently hilarious contribution. I don’t think the political taunting will continue or become a regular feature here, so please stay.

    Meanwhile, Les has been sitting in front of his TV, nose 2 inches from the screen, watching the weather forecast. Apparently, they were calling for “shtorms” — shit storms. Hope this one is over.

  46. Science is hard, detailed work, and can’t be done in an internet discussion thread. Especially one where there’s no math. Jim the Science Teacher’s non-explanation of climate change is worth every bit as much as our gracious host’s non-refutation of it.

    Climate change is, of course, due entirely to a shortage of pirates, and I demand equal time for this third option.


  47. Jason

    I’m looking for some alternate views on the theory of gravity. The view rammed down our throats by the drive by scientific intelligentsia about physical bodies attract other bodies with a force proportional to their mass is hogwash. And what about tides, you can’t explain those either. And don’t even get me started on f&*$ing magnets…

    I come here to get away from this crap, and here it is. I think we should put aside our differences and blame the real culprit, who took a cute comic strip about high school kids and turned it into a modern (well, modern by Ohio standards) greek tragedy.

    And Bats can’t even get his “facts” straight. The current president isn’t a global warming/climate change denier.

  48. Smirks 'R Us

    47 comments about this?!? Oy Vey. All I can say to those reacting so strongly on either side is that the thought of only spending time in discourse with folks who believe exactly the same things I do is not how I choose to live. I respect others opinions and all who commented here are entitled to theirs, whatever it is (as TFH has already pointed out). The notion of not returning to this community over this strikes me as a classic overreaction and I hope all reconsider.

  49. bad wolf

    The thing about TFH versus Batiuk’s opinions that i appreciate is: TFH doesn’t insert his opinions willy-nilly into even random statements, like the June 23 comic above. Stuff like that, whether i agree or disagree, drives me crazy (admittedly one notices things one disagrees with more).

    And calling this site “CONSTANT right wing clap trap” is just crazy, sorry.

  50. Jason

    One other thing, I think our friendly host here expressed his opinion fairly and with a decent disclaimer, and is no less douchy than controversial issues being introduced into FW in order to make cheap puns. We’re allowed to disagree, people.

  51. Epicus Doomus

    I was very surprised when I saw how many comments this rather dopey Sunday strip generated. I would have thought the Dead Lisa one from Saturday would have provoked more. It’s getting all “Doonesbury” up in here today. Amidst all the hub-bub, the real point is getting lost here, and that is that the alleged “punchline” of this strip fell flatter than that toad I accidentally ran over the other day.

  52. This has to be one of the most commented post on this site. I love that the site is so active. I just hope things can continue as they have been before.

  53. dollyllama

    Riff Chick for President in 2016!

  54. sourbelly

    I peeked ahead, and I suspect that we’ll have a pretty strong consensus regarding the quality of Monday’s strip.

  55. O.B. Dan

    @ Epicus – I think TFH’s comments on global warming sparked more reaction than the bland strip with the as always boring story of Jim The Science Guy.

  56. Flummoxicated

    Yes, I agree with thoe reminders that our common enemy is The Dark Lord of Medina – Helskor, I stand in line, as a resident of Northeast Ohio that really made me LOL.

  57. Brazos

    I can’t believe that some people’s attitude is “If you don’t believe what i believe then I’m taking my ball and going home.” What’s wrong with agreeing to disagree? Geesh.

  58. Riff Chick

    I can’t believe somebody called for me to be prez. First time for everything. However, if nominated I will not run; if elected I will not serve. If the American nation can turn so violently against an eloquent, heterosexually-married Christian man then I’d hate to see what they’d do to an unmarried female Jewish lesbian.

    The reason why “agreeing to disagree” doesn’t work with me is it creates a false dichotomy, like the one I mentioned above regarding the “controversy” of the theory of evolution. Like the theory of gravity, that one is all but carved into a literal block of stone. It’s a fact. Nobody credible in the scientific community is grappling with a “controversy.” The only controversy is the one manufactured by creationist orgs like the Discovery Institute.

    “agree to disagree” is also often posited in debates regarding the civil equality of gay people (like myself). As if my humanity is something that can be debated. As if by simply existing I create controversy so great as to call into question my rightful place in the spectrum of humankind.

    As I said before, put up or shut up. Show us this “wealth of evidence” that is equally as damning as the scientific evidence that we are doing a hell of a thorough job fucking up this planet. (bonus points if it doesn’t come from a study sponsored by ExxonMobil or the Koch brothers.)