The Envelope? Puh-LEEZE!

Jinx Bushka is not only the one-woman prom committee; she’s also the official emcee of Westview High. She gets to do cool things like give the morning announcements to her fellow students via closed-circuit TV. As the most controversial senior prom in WHS history draws to a close, it’s Jinx’s job to announce the Prom King and…King? Isn’t the suspense just killing you?

Let’s hope this wraps up tomorrow…the whole envelope-opening cliffhanger aspect of today’s strip has me worried that we may be in for another “The Week in Funky Winkerbean” (from Dean’s Comic Booth):

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0 responses to “The Envelope? Puh-LEEZE!

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “…Time to reveal the winners in the student voting…”, lol. Thanks for the clumsy clarification there, Jinx. So who will the lucky couple be? The SSC? The turret & the rock? Summer & Keisha? Owen & Cody? Nate & Cayla 2.0? All I know for sure is that the ponderous SSC arc is nearly at its merciful end, thank God. Now let us never speak of it again…please.

    That “Darin opens an envelope” thing kills me every time. I wish I could say it was an exaggeration, but it really was that drawn-out and annoying.

  2. As opposed to all those other schools where the prom king and queen are determined by a bloody Hunger Games-style tournament, I guess.

    Another addition to the long, long list of problems with this arc: how easy it’s been for the Anonymously Gay Duo. In this non-quarter-inch world, gay teens face prejudice from both peers and adults, alienation, and bullying so severe it has driven some to suicide. Batiuk just throws some strawman opposition at them, shouts it down, and voila! Problem solved! Prom crowns for everyone! It wouldn’t be that easy for them, and to suggest that it would be cheapens the real struggles of GLBT teens (and adults).

  3. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Jinx looks like she’s desperately trying to figure out how to save face, because, obviously, the card reads: “Gay Dude #1” and “Gay Dude #2”. But she knows she can’t come out and announce the weiners that way, because it would be insulting to the gay population everywhere to not take the time and trouble to learn the names of gay members of the community, as though they were actual people instead of mere props to ignite a 4-week arc. This is quite a pickle she’s gotten herself into. Now she realizes it would have been easier to have just given them a double refund three weeks ago.

  4. billytheskink

    I’m pretty sure the student handbook is going to win, what I don’t know is if it can be both king and queen. If not, then I suspect that the handbook will win prom king and the word “Camelot” (which TB has lovingly drawn 7 times this week) will be queen.

  5. John

    Jinx: “And the winners are…Marie of Romania and Michael Jackson?!? Okay, who switched envelopes?”


    I’d take back every snark I ever snarked if that was the big reveal tomorrow.

  6. Flummoxicated

    Is Durrin sitting in his car and touching himself in those strips? It would explain why he’s just sitting there with that freaky look on his face for such a long time.

  7. Rusty

    I can’t believe Les isn’t allowed to name the prom King and Queen. He is the arbiter of all Westview High matters, excluding Principal Nate’s invoking of the sacred Student Handbook. And I guess this means the castled hand will indeed not be revealed.

  8. Señor Tortilla

    I already spoiled this over at JoshReads (and worse, it was in response to sarcasm), but I’m just going to play dumb and say that someone played a prank on Jinx and it says that it’s her and Mr. Blackburn.

    Furthermore, I’m going to say that since I went to high school, in terms of Prom/Homecoming Kings and Queens, it was never a huge surprise to who gets it. Remember, it’s a vote of about maybe about half a dozen couples, and if you’re good you can take a pretty good guess of who’s going to win.

  9. Riff Chick

    that parody by Dean is hilariously on point.. Tommy’s best friend tweeted “Fuck You” to the wrong guy

  10. Epicus Doomus

    Those stupid time-wasting silent-reaction faux-“suspense”-building panels are one of the oldest tricks in the TB playbook. The big “surprise” will be, as always, staggeringly lame and instantly forgettable. No one kills time while tip-toeing around an issue like BatomInc does. How he is not holding some sort of public office is beyond me. It’s a real talent in some walks of life. Too bad he decided to write a comic strip instead.

  11. flappy

    that bald chick in front row by Jinx seems to be losing her wig

  12. Beanie Wanker

    In the envelope: A note from Dead Lisa reminding Goatee Boy to take care of Slumber’s college applications. And how’s that going with September about 3 months away?

  13. Dreamer

    Why is Jinx at the prom anyway, she is not a senior? Is Jinx the closet gay?

  14. machismo

    what dream world are y’all living in? i am not trying to ignore the fact that there is bullying and that there have been far too many suicides, but acceptance for gay people is not decreasing, it’s increasing. homosexuality is pretty much the hippest thing on the block right now. everyone’s doing it, even historical figures who died centuries ago. a terrible shame, really, but just a reminder that the persecution is most definitely on its way out

  15. professor fate

    “Help am being held prisoner!”

    Well that makes as much sense as the visable from 113 blocks away climax as the nameless gay duo are elvated to kings of the prom and then the pigs blood – no wait that was another film.
    it’s been a long dull week in Funkyland and it makes my brain start to wander – as in thinking that the disembodied gay hand we’ve been seeing is Becky’s lost arm. That kind of wandering.

  16. $$$Westville Oncologist$$$$$

    “Hey this is just a blank piece of paper???!!!!. Geez, we were so busy with this stupid handbook/gay duo fiasco…we forget to select a homecoming king and queen!!!”

  17. Don

    “…Dave Karofsky and Kurt Hummel!”
    The fact that it has been done (even if, in the original, the King hadn’t come out yet) leads me to believe that it won’t be them, or else Batuk will be accused of copying Glee.

    That being said, watch the Saturday strip skip the actual announcement entirely and just have somebody (probably the “anonymous hand”) congratulating the “pair of Kings”.

  18. Don

    Er, that should be “Batiuk” – where’s the “edit” button on this thing?

  19. Jimmy

    Good job today, haters and snarkers!

  20. Jim C

    Thanks to TB’s editing, the 2 hour awards ceremony that is the Westview Prom, is summarized by the last of the awards, the “Student-Voted Prom King and Queen.” There are many, many more awards:

    The Les Moore Award – to the student who most exemplifies the qualities of Westview’s finest student, and all around pillar of the community, Les Moore. (Winner: Summer Moore)

    The Faculty-Voted Prom King and Queen (Winners: Les Moore and Cayla NearlyMoore)

    Same-Sex Couple of the Year (Winners: That guy with the hair and the thing, and that other guy. You know the one … always wears a shirt … )

    What’s My Line Award (Winner: The Disembodied Hand)

    … and so on, ad nauseum.

  21. Charles

    I’ve seen that sequence from Dean before, but I don’t believe I’ve seen the original strips it’s based on, though I know from many different comments that he didn’t exaggerate too much to capture its absurdity. Does anyone have a link to the original strips?

    BTW, does every single glasses-wearing member of this cast wear those frames? I’ll exempt Funky’s granny glasses with the jeweled chain because those are bifocals.

  22. Charles, here are the actual strips that ran that week…

  23. Beanie Wanker

    Let me ask permission first, because I don’t want ANYONE to get their nuts in a knot. But I would like to know if it’s appropriate to suggest Summer for both King AND Queen, since nobody really knows for sure WHAT sex he/she/it is. All we do know is if she’s a girl, she’s the best and most specialest girl at the prom. And if he’s a guy, he’s the most manliest guy in ALL of Wankerville, Ahia.

    So before I suggest this, I just want to make sure nobody minds, because we can’t have that.

  24. Beanie Wanker

    I just noticed in the last panel, Jinx has the same raised pinky Goatee Boy had when he shoved that engagement ring in Newly-White Cayla’s face. Is that in the August 2011 archive somewhere???

    TFH sez: here you go, Beanie:

  25. Beanie Wanker

    Oh my God… Goatee Boy’s raised pinky is even MORE “precious” than Jinx’s. He’s such a prick. That should have been Cayla’s cue to get up and run like Hell. Run until she’s all the way out of Ahia. And she may have done that if she weren’t so heavily drugged up.