Give Me Liberty Or…

Roberta really starts throwing her considerable weight around, doing things like rewriting drills that are just a wee tad out of scope for a Band Mom, while Becky coldly contemplates matricide.

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0 responses to “Give Me Liberty Or…

  1. Hunter64

    Wouldn’t she need two hands to push her mom off the tower?

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Uh, actually NO Becky, I happen to think you’re incorrect. In my opinion, one of the first things a “jury” would ask is “why was some old, unqualified battle-axe on that hydraulic lift in the first place?”. Then they’d be informed that Roberta was on the lift because Becky had no spine and just permitted her to wander around completely unfettered to do as she pleased. Then the “jury” would most likely say something like “we find the defendant, Becky Howard, guilty of criminally negligent manslaughter”. THAT’S probably what would happen. Jeez, these characters are so unbearably simple-minded.

    So it’s already Friday and this idiotic premise still isn’t resolved. Either there’s a big Saturday/Sunday “climax” moment coming or (gulp) this goes another week, right? Please say it isn’t so. I’m like totally out of arm jokes, too.

  3. Rusty

    Well, after the week had a promising start contemplating John and Becky’s sex life, now we are left with this. Or was that 2 weeks ago? What really matter is: How does Les feel about Band Mom’s?

  4. Beanie Wanker

    Yeah, so Fat Broad wrote new routines AND rehearsed them with the band without Slot Machine knowing about it… when?

    Yeah, yeah, we’ve been clobbered over the head with the Roberta Will Go To Any Lengths To Meddle jokes. We GET it. But the gags have to at least make SOME sense. This one does not. It doesn’t work. Epic fail, BatDick. Sorry.

    By the way, how did Mopey Pete get up on the lift too?

  5. John

    Becky: “What on Earth is the band doing down there!?!”

    Roberta: “It’s called “marching”, dear.”

    Becky: “…oh.”

    Roberta: “You’ve taught this for -how- long?”

    Becky: “…why are they marching to the tune of Madonna’s ‘Like a Virgin’?”

    Roberta: “Close! It’s Weird Al’s ‘Like a Surgeon’. And, oh, since you’ve apparently done nothing but chat with Harry Dinkle about his penis for the past couple of weeks, the kids asked us if WE had any ideas to contribute. So I did!”

    Becky: “People who take initiative and use their talents proactively are EVIL, mother. If I murdered you, the courts would find me in the right!!!”

    Roberta: “…um, dear, are you feeling well?”

    Becky: “How do I lower this darn thing?!? I need to talk with Harry again!”

    Roberta: “…well, as long as it’s not about his penis…”

  6. Is it possible to give Roberta Becky’s job? Because it seems like she’s doing a much better job of it from where I’m standing.

  7. Lesser Whark

    @Beanie Wanker: While the expanse of scalp exposed as Becky’s wig slides off is peculiarly horrifying, I thought Mopey Pete looked like this.

    @John, @TheDiva: I’ll third the notion that Roberta’s changes were necessary because Becky doesn’t understand music, choreography or leadership. The band certainly is in some sort of formation at the moment, which is more than you can usually say. Is there any evidence from previous years that the band under Becky is musically or visually good?

    Pardon me if someone already pointed this out, but Becky’s sleeve is not ostentatiously pinned up this week. Have we ever seen that before? You may scoff “Duh, it’s a T-shirt”, but Becky routinely extends the left sleeves on her garments just to remind everyone about them.

  8. sourbelly

    You know, this could be an interesting arc, looking at how middle-aged people handle conflicts with their aging parents. Speaking from personal experience, I know how hard/impossible it can be to confront parents who are old enough to be frail and/or in their dotage. Is it really worth confronting them at that stage of the game?

    But that’s not what we’re getting here. We’re just getting another prop for Becky to whine about. So, yeah, Roberta, you wizened, portly, old crone! STFU and let your daughter singlehandedly [Har!] ruin this band’s season!

    P.S. You’re my favorite character, Roberta.

  9. BeckoningChasm

    Just some random Roberta-Becky stuff I re-wrote a little.

    Sorry it’s not funny, but then, this is Funky Winkerbean, you can’t tell me with a straight face you were expecting funny.

  10. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Hey, Roberta is messing with Becky’s life’s work. Ohhh, I get it! We’re supposed to HATE Roberta because of this! I guess it took me all this time to catch on because normally I read a set-up like this and my first reaction is, “Who gives a fuck?” THAT must have been my mistake.

    I don’t know what’s going on with the artwork, but, once again, Becky looks like a two-armed gal hiding one arm inside her t-shirt. What’s next? Will we get to see Kevin’s real legs stretching back from where he’s simply kneeling into his shoes?

    Batiuk’s momicide gag fell a little flat. If he wanted to go for real laughs, he would have Roberta push Becky off the tower, just so we could see the shot of Becky hanging on for dear life with her one arm (which would also be clutching the bullhorn because, you know, she’s still responsible for damaged equipment).

  11. Professor Fate

    History’s Greatest Monster devises new band marching routines. Next History’s Greatest Monster buys a new brand of cookies for the band’s snacks.

    The Horror. The Horror.

  12. billytheskink

    Lefty’s contemplating pushing her mother over the railing of the cherry-picker, while she’s actually being a total pushover.
    Ha! I should write for that Crankshaft strip…

  13. Señor Tortilla

    Maybe I’m not in band, but what has Roberta done? Just reorganized people?

    If Batiuk was setting up for Becky to be the evil one, he’s done a pretty good job of it: she’s just been bitching for a week, talks with people to pull mean pranks on her, and now wants to kill her.

    Hopefully there’s an accident on the hydraulic lift that rips off her other arm. Now that would be interesting.

  14. Charles

    So things at this band camp are so out of control that someone with only self-proclaimed affiliation with the program can come in and direct the children, and the kids are so ignorant of expectations that they’ll listen and do what the person says? There’s no established hierarchy here that suggests who’s in charge. It’s just whoever asserts themselves the strongest.

    Guess you’re doomed then, Becky, ’cause that sure as hell ain’t you. It’ll never be you.

  15. Jimmy

    @BeckoningChasm: Your mashup brings to light how inconsistent the art is in this strip. Becky could be at least four different people in those strips while Roberta is at least two (check out the fat dude in drag playing her part in the final panel).


    No jury would convict her because the Westview coroner’s office logically assumes that most deaths ARE the result of suicide…..either that or terminal cancer….