Three or four hundred words later (a rough count, and not including Monday’s setup), John finally get to whatever point he’s been trying to make. Said point being, I dunno, if you’ve always called them “comics”, then you will continue to ignorantly do so.
20 thoughts on “Komix Kase Klosed, Klass Dismissed”
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Son of Stuck Funky 
Owen: “So….. a $1.25 for this issue of Superman, then? Or do I get a 50% discount for enduring your boring-ass lecture for an entire week? You sure Becky lost that arm from a driving accident with Wally, or did she gnaw it off with her own teeth in order to cope with the aggravation of being married to you during moments like these? Never mind, here’s the full $1.25.”
You’ve missed nothing. Well, you missed me throttling myself, loading the bullets into the chamber, pointing them menacingly, then standing down…which again, OH you fooled me Tom Batiuk!–meant that nothing really ever changes. Ever. Oh, God, it…never changes. Despite all the begging, it never changes.
Is there a “cancer volunteer” group? I might be able to cough up the dues for that.
And today’s (hopefully final) lesson is that “comics” is nearly a slur, an insult to the art form. We also learned that John allows himself to be bullied by dorks who loiter in his “shop”. Can’t wait for next week’s lesson on the history of pizza.
And Owen’s body has become possessed by the spirit of a retired, earnest but clueless audience member at a seminar at the 92nd Street Y.
Does the person filling in the thought bubbles over at Batom, Inc. even look at the art first? No one wearing a chullo has ever phrased a question that way.
Snarkers have really gotten under TB’s thin-skin. “Comic” strips like Pogo, Lil’Abner, Bloom County, Doonesbury, Shoe, Dilbert took/take jabs at real world issues, social conflicts, politics and still created lovable characters who endured the test of time.
Batsh*t just lost creativity, lacks basic storytelling skills and is nothing more then a megalomaniac who is now crying while lashing out like a cornered animal who realizes that he is trapped (called-out for what he is).
Thanks Tom for just confirming all this.
“But what about all the people who insist on going by the dictionary definition alone?”
(Boy, having to rewrite that shows how cumbersome and sloppy that sentence is.)
Do you ever, you know, wish that someone in one of these authorial lectures just would blow a gasket about this sort of stupid question? There’s Gross John, being a disgusting, smug dope, when instead, it’d be a lot more effective to tell Owen:
“Who gives a shit? You know, there are people who are stupid enough, that when you use the idiom “That’s comparing apples and oranges”, will think you’re talking about literal apples and oranges. Or when you tell them not to put all their eggs in one basket, they think you’re talking about how they should arrange their intended purchases at the grocery store. But you know what? They’re idiots, and who really gives a shit what idiots think?”
Speaking of idioms, to address an issue brought up earlier this week, Batiuk puts his narrative cart before the horse, so to speak. His biggest problem is that his entire method is broken. He approaches a story with the idea of doing something serious, rather than wanting to tell a good story that just happens to be serious. That’s the major difference between his writing and that of his superiors. He comes up with his theme first and hashes out a story from it, when he should be coming up with a story first and hashing out a theme from it. No wonder so many of his stories come across as manipulative and spurious.
“But what about all the people who insist on going by the dictionary definition alone?”
But what about forcing a character that has been presented as being more than a bit of a doofus with a stupid hat to say this clunky line? These is simply no way to say this that sounds human. This is like one of those paid product ads on late night tb “Tell me Tom can the Batslicer really slice and dice and deep fry all at the same time?”
and to in counter to Batuik’s central idea that serious matters can not co-exist with laughter I quote one Charles Chaplin:
“To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it!”
and:
“Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain.”
And thus to hell with you and desire to demean the sacred gift of human laughter.
Sorry I get pompous on this. But this really steps on my wick.
Yes, yes, we call them “comics” even though they’re not necessarily funny (or have happy endings, which was the original meaning of comedy if you want to get into it). You know what else? Hamburgers aren’t made of ham, hot dogs aren’t made of canine meat (as far as we know), Good Friday commemorates a pretty depressing event, and a lighthouse is more of a tower than anything else. Language evolves. Deal with it.
I’ve always been fond of Roger Ebert’s philosophy: “It’s not what a movie is about, it’s how it is about it.” I think that applies to comic strips–excuse me, serious and important sequential art–as well as film.
Owen has Stockholm Syndrome
I think TB is getting a little too meta here. This stopped being unfunny a few days back and is now just sad.
I can’t check long-lost files from my Apple //e, but I could swear John’s exact rant showed up on the BBS I ran, posted by a teenaged user in 1983.
Timely as ever, Batomic!
Heckuva job.
Yes, language evolves. That is why FW gag-a-day has become FW gag-a-day.
The underlying assumption here is that melodrama is inherently superior to comedy. It’s not.
Jeffcoat: Sadly, these days an issue of Superman would set one back as much as 3-4 dollars, with the digital versions only marginally cheaper.
Yet another reason why monthly action comics are in such dire financial trouble.
Owen: “Um, why do you rest your case?”
John: “Well, see, you teenagers are automatically and innately evil, stupid, and worthless. By not appreciating my droning voice and endless, anal-retentive rants, you are proving yourselves unworthy of my wisdom.”
Owen: “WISDOM?!? Dude, you’re a big fat loser with a haircut you outgrew three decades ago! We ‘evil teens’ are your CUSTOMERS, not your damn STUDENTS. Stop pretending you have any authority over us, right to judge us, or superiority to us just because you like masturbating to this ultra-violent fetish battle SWILL!”
John: “Wha-…b-…you….I…”
Owen: “In fact, I only hang out here for the porn, and I can steal that off the internet! In fact, I think I will! Who’s with me?”
(Cody and Ballcap): “…oh, what the heck.” “Yo!”
*The teens leave John in his musty, dimly lit, pizza-stinking shop. He sheds a single, perfect tear*
“But what about all the people who insist on going by the dictionary definition alone?”
“Not big problem, because nobody really gives a sh t about any of this/”
John: “it rubs the lotion on the skin, or else it gets the hose again….”
A whole week for BatDreck to drone on (through his creepy, pervy character) that comics are not for comedy. And Grape Nuts… No grapes. no nuts. What’s the deal?
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Dear lord, I recognized the issue of Superman in question.
I think I can roughly place when he did this strip, the real world reaction to the issue and the irony of him picking it to tilt at this particular burns…
It…BURNS…
Sean D–was that one part of the ‘Grounded’ storyline? The one that Pete was just making fun of a couple of weeks/months ago (“Why should you? The writer didn’t.”)