Would You Buy a Used Comic Book from This Man?

So I guess today we are back in the “present” after yesterday’s regression to Harry’s mailman days. Or…is Harry working both jobs now? It looks like he’s wearing his postman vest in panel 3. In other sartorial news, Becky’s empty, pinned-up sleeve provides visual focus, as always, as she and John decorate a black Christmas tree. And whoever would equate Harry’s taking a crummy job at the Komix Korner with greed? Clearly this is another one of those punchlines, scrawled on a napkin from Luigi’s of Akron, that Batiuk’s been just itching to use.


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33 responses to “Would You Buy a Used Comic Book from This Man?

  1. BeckoningChasm

    “I’m sure he can use the money.”
    “It wasn’t about greed.”

    What the hell? Seriously? People look for jobs because they’re greedy?

    Not because they need to buy food, pay bills, pay the doctor, pay mortgages, and stuff like that? Just sheer, unadulterated greed is the only motivation to have a job?

    Could it be that some people have coasted along in their jobs for forty or so years, and can’t imagine…um, can’t imagine…um, anything other than phoning it in?

    If Disney ever decides to add an eighth dwarf named “Greedy,” I would like to suggest that they re-cast “Dopey.”

  2. Rusty

    “Can you give me a hand with this tinsel?” sorry about that. For the umpteenth time, any self-respecting woman with even the slightest care about her appearance would have figured out a better way of handling her missing extremity by now. She may be the state’s biggest consumer of safety pins.

  3. Black Christmas trees do exist, but they mostly seem to appeal to a) people doing ironic Nightmare Before Christmas-style trees or b) people who like those tidy, all-the-ornaments-coordinate trees that look like they were put up by interior decorators rather than actual families. I don’t think DSH and Becky have an ironic bone in their bodies (maybe Becky did, before it got amputated), and since the decorating method consists of vaguely draping a tatty gold tinsel garland around the tree’s midsection, I’d say the decorative type is out too.

    I spent maybe five seconds trying to figure out who was on the cover of the comic Crazy Harry is desperately trying to peddle, until I realized that I really, really didn’t care.

  4. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$$$

    Yeah, Jon it’s nice of you to hire him….it’s not like Crazy couldn’t receive an early retirement buyout or apply for unemployment. I’m sure your minimum wage payment will certainly help him through these tough times.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    “It isn’t ABOUT greed, Becky. Man, that plastic-fantastic Madison Avenue head-trip marching band gig of yours has turned you into a real square, total cubes-ville, baby! Harry’s not, like, ABOUT the greed, mama! Harry’s about, like, the COMIC BOOKS, man! They are him and he is they and it’s like symbiotic, dig what I’m sayin’ baby? He NEEDS them, man, and they need him! Enough o’ yo jive, mama…I’m like splitsville!”

    I’m not sure what’s going on here. Is John implying that Becky is implying (based on nothing) that Harry accepting a job at the Korner could be seen as being “greed” motivated? Why would anyone think that, much less think anyone else would? She didn’t say anything that could possibly prompt that weird response, but there it is. And he didn’t have to be so curt about it, either.

    Or perhaps “greed” just happens to rhyme with “need”, sense be damned? And even what the “need” here is supposed to be is unclear. Is he saying that Harry “needs” the money, or needs to be around comics, or that he needs to be able to basically sell them himself to the many good, wholesome folk who pop in to the Korner looking for that special comic book related gift idea? Or, is he saying that he “needs” Harry’s superior sales skills to actually sell anything? Who needs what and why?

  6. sourbelly

    I understand nothing about today’s Funky Winkerbean strip. Nothing. I’m serious.

  7. Rembrandt36

    Why is Mike Nesmith in drag in the last panel?

  8. Rembrandt36

    Seriously – the crazy harry face in the logo is freaking me out bad. Hell, put Les being hit by a ball in there – anything – please.

  9. flappy

    seems like becky would want to kick back at home,like maybe let her sleeve down our maybe throw on short sleeve t shirt

  10. Merry Pookster

    I just invented a new holiday cocktail:
    2 parts greed & 3 parts ego, shaken not stirred, I call it the Tom Batiuk

  11. bad wolf

    A fourth week of this? First was Owen-vember and now we got Crazy Harry’s Advent Calendar. Stre-e-tch those storylines out.

    Btw, comic book fans are notoriously hard to shop for, as they’ve usually gotten whatever they wanted for themselves already, it’s so specific that you’d never guess what it is, and kids in general not that interested anymore ($4 for 20 pages that are one-quarter of a story that I have to buy every month? Great!).

  12. Helskor

    Who buys their kid a single, unsealed issue of SISID [?] for Christmas/Hannukah? 

  13. billytheskink

    Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.
    Funky Winkerbean, for lack of a better word, is appallingly atrociously dreadfully horribly shockingly abysmally awfully terribly ludicrously alarmingly unbelievably amazingly abominably bad.

  14. Don’t miss a rare-as-hen’s-teeth SoSF contest giveaway starting at midnight tonight!

  15. Jimmy

    So, is DSH John doing that annoying thing where characters laugh at their own puns? “It was about need, which is hilarious because it means Harry is close to starvation. I’m such a cut up!”

  16. Smirks 'R Us

    Owen-vember and Crazy Harry’s Advent Calendar. Funny stuff bad wolf.

    As for today’s ‘comic’, I got nuthin. Ridiculously boring. For those that erupt when I say I miss the Less arcs for their snarkworthiness, sorry, but I’d take a Less-centric arc in a New York minute over this dreck.

  17. I’m with you. As Casey Kasem might say, “Ponderous, man. Fuckin’ ponderous.”

  18. As you may recall, I’ve chosen “Inexplicable.” as Batominc’s epitaph. Today’s foray into inexplicability and terror is Harry’s horror-show leer in panel 3.


    Oh, my! That smirk! That depraved, sidelong glance! What inexplicable evil is in that comic book? Perhaps a special sticker with a special website especially for DSH’s favorite teenage boys. No, not a website—too technological. A hotline.

    No, no; I kid; I kid. The expression on Harry’s face is unintentionally evil.

  19. BeckoningChasm

    Every time I see “DSH” I think of the animal shelter. That’s one of the designations for cats (Domestic Short Hair).

    I thought I’d throw that in there because it’s more interesting than Funky Winkerbean.

  20. bad wolf

    Thanks Smirks and thanks TFH for the coveted COTW! As Groundskeeper Willie put it, “Aye did nae cry when me own father was hung … but I’ll cry now!”

  21. bobanero

    Greed isn’t when you need the money. Greed is when you take a guy’s priceless comic collection for pennies on the dollar and give him a minimum wage crap job in return. Although, I think where TB’s going with this, is that Crazy joining the staff of DSH’s store is going to have the same miraculous effect that Derwood’s joining the staff of Montoni’s had. Thanks to his mad comic selling skillz, Comic Corner will start to turn a profit and actually be able to meet the rent without asking for an extention. Crazy will have found his true calling.

  22. Señor Tortilla

    I can’t tell you what is worse: a non-punchline (it would kind of make more sense if a character had cleared off grocery store shelves to feed the homeless population, for instance), Crazy (Creepy?) Harry’s face, DSH John’s disembodied head, the Christmas tree that they didn’t bother to recolor green. Bad all around.

  23. Rembrandt36

    It wasn’t about greed. It was about bad writing, and how to shoe-horn in nonsense. It was about characters that go off to the mountains of Africa but come back for a day to bitch about Funky’s new car. It’s about boring characters that look 30 years older than they should. It’s about the in-your-face pinned up sleeve. It’s about dumpy fat housewives. It’s about a character so hated that readers revel in warmth whenever his new bride assaults him.

    This is a Funky Winkerbean Christmas

  24. John

    Harry: “I’m sure your son will like this.”

    Woman: “My son is 49 years old, unemployed, and a furry. I’m sure he’ll like anything that allows him to escape. Though I must say, sir, you’re the very first direct market comic book store worker I’ve -ever- met who insisted on preventing the customer from choosing their own purchase, instead imposing your own values and tastes upon them. It was a…unique experience.”

    Harry: “I’m sure it was.”

    Woman: “Anyway, goodbye forever. From now on, I’m just going to purchase the same-day digital release, you creepy jerk.”

    Harry: “I’m sure you wi-…..HUH?!?”

  25. Beanie Wanker

    Was hoping Ol’ One Arm (panel 1) was going to take that candy cane and figure out how to make an arm hook out of it. The pinned up sleeves ON EVERYTHING SHE WEARS is re-fuckin’-diculous.

  26. Epicus Doomus

    Sometimes these “murky” FW’s make more sense after you’ve had some time to let them digest, but this one is still a puzzle to me. I can’t fathom DSH’s reaction to his wife’s politely disinterested comment about Harry, I just can’t understand how or why he needed to imply “greed” was somehow involved. It makes no goddamned sense whatsoever. And it’s only Monday, who knows how little sense this thing might be making by Saturday?

  27. Am I the only person who sees that final panel, not as Crazy Harry recommending something for the woman’s son, but as Crazy Harry belittling a female comic book fan? “I’m sure your son would like this, ma’am, but I don’t know you’re here.”

    She’s smiling so big because she’s daydreaming about punching him.

  28. Duane


    I’m glad I’m not the only one who knows the Kasey Kasem “ponderous” story.

  29. John

    Inkwell: You’re not the only one.

    But I’ve noted before: Tom’s view of comics fandom is based on warped, distorted, faded memories of Things As They Were in his murky, wildly inaccurate brain.

  30. What I’m worried about is that this strip will take another turn from leftfield and start a story and Becky trying to patch up things with her mother. I’d rather see Les again than Roberta.

  31. Jimmy

    You’ve all convinced me: this is all a setup for us to be happy during the Lesapocalypse.

  32. Beanie Wanker

    From the expression on his face and on “Mom’s,” Crazy’s pants are down around his ankles. “I’m sure your son will like THIS!”

    Skunk Head John has trained him well.

  33. Charles

    Or perhaps “greed” just happens to rhyme with “need”, sense be damned?

    Rhymes are just inherently funny! Just remember, tumor rhymes with HUMOR!

    Sad thing is, if you removed the nonsense and had Gross John instead suggest that it was helping Crazy in ways much more significant than simply making money, it could conceivably have been a heart-warming strip. It makes him happy. He gets to talk to people about his beloved hobby. He doesn’t feel like an unneeded loser. Etc. (He said, slipping into his non-native Latin)