C’mon, doc. If he’s wise to that “scream when the toilet seat falls” bit, do you really think Fred Fairgood is gonna fall for the old “pull my finger” routine?
At least TB gets all the hospital details right: that’s either a nurse wearing a ḥijāb, or else Igor has wandered in from the lab of Dr. “Froderick” Frankenstein.
Son of Stuck Funky 
That’s EYE-gore.
Prediction: This will wind up being the funniest FW strip of 2013!
Fred Fairgood is a red-shirt. In fact, the entire cast of FW is composed of red-shirts. So long, Fred.
Well, aside from the notable exceptions. Funky himself is probably a gold shirt, just, you know, just cos. Crazy Harry is probably a red-shirt, but a high-ranking red-shirt. Scotty or better.
The blue-shirts, though, they’re the ones who will never be killed. Les. Bull. Dead Comic Head John. Lisa. Summer. They are golden forever, and yes, I know I put Lisa in there. (Trust me. Funky Winkerbean Act III, the Search for Lisa has already been announced.)
Cayla seems to be Uhura. Don’t know where that might lead.
I mean, name me a blue-shirt who died. Who was important, or, was not resurrected later.
By the way, sorry for referencing “Star Trek,” a highly entertaining and enduring TV show whose fans age from 2 to 200, in the context of “Funky Winkerbean,” a comic strip that can count on exactly ONE devoted fan. No matter how many IP addresses he spoofs.
Bland, unconvincing reassurances about the competence of medical professionals in a FW strip = bad, bad news for poor old Fred. Face it, the guy’s a goner: deader than the Wednesday night crowd at Montoni’s. All that’s left now is the inevitable death scene at Fred’s bedside, followed by Boy Lisa and Whatshername abandoning their idyllic apartment in the sky to move into Ann’s house, thus completing Derwin’s circle of failure.
I like the subtle dig at the medical profession there…”we won’t have a clue”…”they know what they’re doing”…Boy Lisa should’ve really asked his sainted bio-mom about that instead of wasting two weeks opening his mail that time. On the plus side, though, Fred probably won’t merit a book called “Fred’s Story…Another Shoe” so once he’s dead, he’s gone.
They (the ER staff) might know what they are doing….but Batiuk is obviously on life-support.
Coming off of the (sick) Happy Dance series…. he just goes further off the edge.
Once upon a time I longed for a story arch to have an ending instead of just “poof”.
Now I hope Fred and Tom are just put out of thier pain.
Darin to mom,let me comfort you with light pat on arm ,i’m so sorry but were missing our show,bye, good luck with dad
He didn’t have a stroke. He got knocked out from having his dangly old balls slammed in the falling toilet seat. See, a FAKE injury brings on the loud scream. Mash those bad boys in there for real, and it’s *whimper,* and BAM, you’re on the floor.
Fred will need a transplant to live. Les to the rescue! Since he’s married Cayla, he won’t be needing his any more.
Coming tomorrow: “Freddy’s Dead, The Final Nightmare.”
Damn you, sourbelly, that’s what I came here to say!
Can anybody else see what this is leading up to? Isn’t it about time to promote The Grounded One? I can hardly wait to see him in a position of authority, handing out discipline.
Could get awkward if Les knew some boy was banging Sum’ Mo’ and it turned out to be a Les-like geek being honored by the administration for one thing or another…
Uhhh, wait a minute…did I say “banging Sum’ Mo’?” Sorry…I forgot…
Why does TB hate the medical profession?
Actually, I think it’s his lack of research, but he knows so little that he doesn’t even realize how much he doesn’t know. This is what he’d do in the situation where a patient has a stroke and is unresponsive, so of course it’s what doctors would do. Right?
And that ER is rather blase considering that Fred’s unresponsive and they “haven’t a clue” as to what’s wrong with him. People don’t usually just fall into comas, you know.
Uhhh, wait a minute…did I say “banging Sum’ Mo’?” Sorry…I forgot…
Hey man, whatever your opinion of Summer’s sexual identity may be, she’s still got plenty of holes that any red-blooded man could mack.
Her ears, for instance.
You’re welcome.
Sorry, hospital details are not even close to right.
The first thing that happens is the ct scan, to see if there’s a hemorrhage or not. The treatments are completely different, depending on what the ct shows (blood or no blood).
TPA is used only if the ct scan shows no blood. TB is demonstrating medical malpractice, so egregious that I doubt it ever happens, by giving the tpa before the head ct.
I’m not going to comment on the storyline, art, etc., but I agree with most of the comments. Yet, I keep reading…
BC, does that make Frankie* (Darren’s evil biological father and former Big Walnut Tech football star for those who came in late) a Klingon or a Romulan?
I predict a swift, merciful exit for poor Fred, which will lead into some Big Secret involving Lisa and Daryn and Frankie. Perhaps Darrin inherited a rare genetic disorder from Frankie, resulting in another award for Batiuk from the Genetic Disorder Awareness Foundation. Perhaps I should stop giving Batiuk ideas for free.
*And what jock named Frank or Francis who likes girls enough to impregnate them in his van would spell his name FrankIE? No one born with those names in northern Ahia in the ’60’s could stand being called Frankie, for a very good reason. Trust me on this.
Oh look, yet another crucial detail goes un-researched by Batom Inc. He’s never one to let facts get in the way of bathos.
Listen to these Beady Eyed Nitpickers badmouthing Bathole’s view of the medical profession. Fred Faircritical is in the capable hands of the same docs who butchered Now-Dead Lisa, so relax, everybody. Sure, these are doctors who can’t find their way to their cars in the parking lot, and stand there dumbfounded at the counter when ordering at McDonalds. If they were TRULY people of intelligence, talent, and worth, they would be drawing their own cartoon and not hanging around a hospital with a bunch of sick people.
Fred’s toast. I think that’s what Batpoop is going with. He was going to copy Grampaw Jim from Foob Better or Worst — having him sit in a wheelchair with a blanket on his lap, blurting out nothing but “mmm… yes,” “BOXCAR!!” and “I helped with the delivery.”
I’m going to have to defend Batiuk. I checked into a Westview hospital with a broken wrist. Left with a leg amputation.
Do you pin in your pant leg? Hope your significant other works in a business with more than 3 customers and has a normal haircut.
The fact that there is some sort of ethnicity in Westview, Ohio besides Principal Nate is amazing.
Looks like TB is one of those people who took the hospital’s “paging Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard” joke seriously…
Results of yesterday’s poll question: What will become of Fred Fairgood?
Survives, but as a complete vegetable 23 (28.05%)
Survives, bedridden but responsive 21 (25.61%)
Survives, recovers competely in an unrealistically short period of time 11 (13.41%)
A lingering death (> 2 weeks) 9 (10.98%)
Survives, eventually makes full recovery 3 (3.66%)
A quick death (< 2 weeks) 2 (2.44%)
Victim of murder/suicide pact with Ann 2 (2.44%)
Other: 11 (13.41%) (responses below):
Is visited by both Lisa and Masky McDeath
Victim of yet another boring, dragged-out Batuik storyline
Goes the boxcar! @#$%! route, in the style of FBOFW’s Jim.
Survives, becomes center of super serious arc about the right to die
Not a stroke at all. Severe constipation made him pass out. He will add more fiber.
Nothing is ever said of him again
BOXCAR!!
Inexplicably names all the cars in Westview
Will Benson care?
Because Bats forgot how to write, he’ll spend 2 weeks talking about comic books.
nothing, arc forgotten
Pmc: Sorry, hospital details are not even close to right.
I meant the curtain thingy, Fred’s hospital gown, the nurse in a headwrap, stuff like that. I’m as clueless as Batiuk when it comes to the medical jargon. Thanks for pointing out how off base he is regarding the important stuff!
sourbelly: Prediction: This will wind up being the funniest FW strip of 2013!
Well, based on Pmc’s comment, this strip is surely generating some unintended laughs in ER’s around the country!
@ Tortilla – It’s Kahn dressed in drag. Westview is too small and inbred for a hospital (why Kahn got the hell out) so they had to go to Cleveland.
One of the things that impresses me about hospital staff is how fast they can move in the event of an emergency. If they need to get you into an operating room now, they’ll have you in there and prepped at speeds that make the Indy 500 pit crew look like a bunch of lazy college kids working at Grease Monkey. Going by their behavior here, I would guess either nothing needs to be done for Fred at this point, or nothing can be done. Batiuk seems to think that since the doctors aren’t making everything okay with a snap of their fingers, they must be incompetent.
In the interest of continuing to feed BatHack ideas, here’s one. I’ll presume Fred is a goner as TB is jonesing to tackle the great beyond again. How about some pent up father/son hostility boiling over as they are making the funeral arrangements. I envision Darin insisting he accompany the body to the funeral home, only so he can blurt out at the most inappropriate time, “guess I helped with the delivery this time, Dad!”
@Pmc: I keep reading, too. It’s like an accident you can’t look away from.
On the bright side, neither Fishstick Annie’s or Boy Lisa’s cars didn’t crash into Cell Phone Girl’s vehicle.
Today’s stunning insight from Tom is that doctors are stupid, evil, and not to be trusted because they aren’t gods who automatically and innately know what’s wrong with a patient!
…and none of this could be the fault of untrained family who decided to carry around and drive Fred over to the hospital themselves rather than calling 911. Yeesh.
Also, today’s comments on the strip site are a riot:
“Y’all badmouthing the strip are just evil, scummy trolls who hate families who’ve lost a loved one to illness!”
Um, no.
And again with multiple variations of “If you aren’t a syndicated cartoonist, then you have NO RIGHT to say this strip is bad!!!!1111!!!!ONE!”
I always like the description that says, “Funky Winkerbean began as a gag-a-day comic strip…”
I mean, it’s still a gag-a-day comic strip.
It’s just a different kind of “gag.”
@Helskor: This West Coast boy was blissfully unaware of Frankie the Keener Wiener. So, um, “thanks” for that, I guess.
Also, I will take the blame for “Inexplicably names all the cars in Westview”.
I have direct, personal experience with a family member who took a taxi to the ER rather than call 911 in response to stroke symptoms. And hospital treatment is nothing like day-to-day business at, say, a pizza joint. Things do not happen on the patient’s schedule, and there is much less certainty than, “Hey, I thought I said no anchovies!” So Batominc actually has the patient’s and the family’s point of view down.
A good writer would then switch points of view, Rashomon-style (or even Law & Order–style). I predict with great confidence that this will not happen in Funky Winkerbean. This storyline will end, predictably, in an inexplicable and unsatisfying manner.
Sadly, Fred is dead. Westview’s coroner, the only guy in town busier than the oncologist, filed this autopsy report:
Mr Fairgood was killed by The Universe as a direct result of his adoptive son expressing happiness.
Ya really gotta hand it to Bathole when it comes to paranoia. Some people think certain individuals are out to get them. Some think the Government is out to get them. Some think the world is out to get them. Batcrazy thinks the UNIVERSE is out to get him. Can’t do any better than that!
How about if a nurse drops a bedpan, then fakes a loud scream. Bet that would bring a smile to Fishstick Annie!
Meanwhile, the ER staff is busy looking up Fred’s symptoms on webmd.com and Google.
TPA is used only if the ct scan shows no blood. TB is demonstrating medical malpractice, so egregious that I doubt it ever happens, by giving the tpa before the head ct.
Hey, maybe that’s what happened to Fred. They gave him the tPA before they discovered it was a hemorrhage and they destroyed his brain completely. Lord knows the spread in panel 2 could certainly be explained in such a way.
TB did surprise me, I didn’t think Fred would be the first fatality of 2013.
Meanwhile, the ER staff is busy looking up Fred’s symptoms on webmd.com and Google.
Actually they’re waiting for the 10,000th person to “like” their post on Facebook so they can save Fred.