bad wolf
April 1, 2013 at 10:22 pm
[I]s that our old friend Wedgeman? It’s been so long but one of the few ‘new’ students from last year (who i assumed was also a senior at the time) may still be around!
Good eye, bad wolf! Even though his hair has the “Superman blue” highlights these days instead of brown, that’s gotta be Wedgeman, who last year was fixin’ to “kick [Cody’s] butt off” before Summer came to his rescue. Now that Sheriff Sum’ Mo’ has ridden out of town, somebody has to man up and come to the rescue of Wedgeman’s victims.
Son of Stuck Funky 
![kick [Cody’s] butt off](https://sonofstuckfunky.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/120409.jpg){kind=link}
This is what happens when you ask advice from a guy who thinks entirely in comic book terms: you respond in the most stilted, cliched manner known to man.
Way to go, Owen!!!!
Alex, can now slip away from the danger of an unwanted nosepicking, while these two meatheads beat the ever-living shit out of you!!!
Just think, Owen. You’ve showed exactly the same amount of bravery and sacrifice as one of those canaries they carried into coal mines!!
And for your selfless act of bravery, maybe Wedgeman will only piss in your chullo, rather than shit it in!!
The Lone Ranger would have been proud of you!!!
Speaking of comic book terms, Wedgeman’s head grows to roughly the size of Owen’s torso in the final panel. So, obviously, he’s a mutant.
Alex, meanwhile, is just a 40 year old fan of “The Craft” who dropped by the school for the local Fairuza Balk Club Cosplay Contest.
Ignoring the fact that Alex is now shorter than ever, I would say that Owen IS right: you shouldn’t be bullying 40-somethings, pick on one of your fellow high schoolers!
So, is this a second bullying we’re witnessing, or did Chullo use his mutant powers to travel back in time, consult with Dead Comic Book John, then return to the present to “make a difference”?
If so, why didn’t he go further back in time and learn karate? What a totally useless mutant; no wonder the X-Men laughed at his application form and wrote “laughable” on it.
BTW, I love the look on Alex in panel two. Oh God, please let me be rescued by anyone other than this dustflap.
Both this “joke” and this tired trope are so old they pre-date the printed word. This is just an old Les circa Act I gag with a dimwit in a stupid hat replacing the geeky nerd with glasses. I can’t imagine how this arc could be any lazier or less original, but then again we still have (at least) two more days to go. On the plus side, at least DSHJ is finally finished talking, so there’s that.
So now that the school’s former toughest kid Summer Moore is off gritting up the KSU basketball program, Wedgeman is free to terrorize the downtrodden once more. I guess he’s yet another WHS student that never graduates. I can’t get the strip to embiggen so I can’t make out exactly what’s going on there with the artwork in panel one, but to be honest I don’t think I really want to know, so no loss.
OK, seriously, why is it up to the kids to stop the bullying? Can’t Owen tell an adult? (Preferably not Les, who would wet himself beneath the door before being beaten to a pulp.)
Well, these dudes are certainly serious about their bullying, seeing as they’re still in the middle of harassing the mutant fortysomething. This is the same bully session, is it not? Methinks Owen imagined how a conversation with Skunkhead would go, and figured he stood a better chance of getting out alive by standing up to Wedgeman instead.
I’m breaking ranks with you all on this one. Granted, the scenario is a bit unreal, but the circumstance is, tragically, not.
And the 40-yeat old virgin is all skank, and I would not be willing to help her not reach 41…but I’m not Stinky Wool Hat Kid. The storyline’s point could become sidetracked by the pending romance (such as it would be), but that might pass in one panel, like the end of Gay Prom Night.
I am 63 years old, and there is some bullying I saw back in the 1960s, when I was in my teens, that I will never forget. So this is big for me.
You know what’d be great? For Gross John’s advice to ultimately be completely worthless to Owen. I know his advice would be completely worthless in the real world, but I don’t think we’re supposed to consider it that way in the Funkyverse. But it would be great if Owen gets clobbered, goes back to Gross John pissed about how he set him up to get killed, and Gross John merely retorts that if Owen wanted an effective solution, he should’ve never come to him. It’s not as if Gross John would have any idea of how to deal effectively with bullies. The guy was still being bullied by his mom in his 30s! Owen should have known better!
Guess Alex is starting to rethink her decision to go back and finish that high school diploma after dropping out 15 years ago. Apparently she is a daily target for the same guys. (Well, Bighead McBlackguy couldn’t make it this time.) The other day apparently wasn’t just a random bullying incident. And yet nobody has stepped in to stop it yet. Starting to look a bit CONTRIVED today. Gee, shocker.
Wouldn’t mind at all if Wedgeman started slapping Chullohead around, and Alex (and everyone else, including teachers) joined in. Really, he’s an annoying little prick. WHAT…?
Oh, and guys bullying a girl? Jail time.
Come on Owen, pull a knife and cut them! Let’s get 1/4″ away from reality!
Wait a second–a question just occurred to me.
Is Chullo supposed to be likeable? Does Tom Batiuk present this guy to us with the idea that we would like him? Because that’s insane.
A few days ago, I wondered if it would be worse for Batiuk to treat bullying in an inappropriately (and unfunny) humorous manner or a insufferable serious manner. Now I know an even worse third option exists: total schizophrenia.
“Ha-ha, bullies, amirite? But really, it is a Very, Very Serious Issue and if you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem. But watch out, because if you’re part of the solution you’ll just attract the bullies’ attention in a hi-larious fashion, ha-ha!”
Oh, his name is Wedgeman? I thought it was “Wedgieman”.
Well Batyuck did say he was going to be (re) introducing a female character this year…at first I thought it was Kerry…durwoods’ step sister once removed…But maybe it’s goth-chick Alex retro’d back to high school.
Ya know…even now-a-days and even a goth-hag like Alex will have other girls ganging back up on these freakazoid bullies..
Don’t be messin’ with the sistah’s
It’s bad wolf week! Everything’s coming up Milhouse!
Thanks TFH! I was also impressed with your picking Alex out of a crowd in the school hallway wide-shot last week. At least Wedgeman’s been seen in the last year!
BChasm asks: “Is Chullo supposed to be likeable? Does Tom Batiuk present this guy to us with the idea that we would like him? Because that’s insane.”
You have your lovable losers. You could even describe Act I Les that way. Or the ’62 Mets. Then you have just plain losers. (Like nearly every professional sports team in Ahia.) That’s where Sweaty Wool Hat Boy fits in. He’s a fuckup, a dummy, a smartass, a slacker, and a slob. And he’s never in any way funny. I’m sorry, but there isn’t one thing to like about this character. And his seeking Life Advice from Pervy John knocked him down even a few more levels.
I can’t wait to see what he looks like after the next time jump or two — Sweaty, fat, old, serving pizza at Montoni’s, still wearing that fuckin’ hat… Married to Alex, who gets blonde hair and another 50 pounds… Has a daughter who ALSO wears a sweaty hat every day. Something to look forward to.
I also hate his pal Odie or Cooley, or whatever the crap his name is. He LOOKS like a nerd and ACTS like a nerd, but he also appears to be amazingly stupid. If these idiots are going to be nerds, at least make them smart in some way. Otherwise, you just get a pair of Prize Schmucks nobody likes. But don’t hold your breath waiting for Tone Deaf Tommeh to pick up on any of this. He still thinks Skunk Head is kinda quirky and cool. Good Lord…
Owen? Likeable? Nah, no one really “likes” Owen. Owen is just one-note cannon fodder, a way to trot out ancient old high school gags without having to resort to those sepia-toned-corner-thingy retcon strips. A clever writer could have used this bullying arc as a way to turn Owen into a “real” character instead of a mere caricature BatHead uses to recycle old “Les gets bullied” bits from the 70’s and 80’s, but that might involve actually having to write a real story as opposed to just talking about writing real stories during interviews. Not bloody likely.