Tag Archives: Wedgeman

The Wedgeman Obsession continues

Today’s strip shows that Linda and Nate are still talking about this kid Tank Wedgeman, such that they ought to charge him rent for taking up inordinate space in their minds. Linda’s still hugging that odd blue book until panel three, which amazingly is the first time she hasn’t been hugging it all week. I’m not sure what the cage-thing is that’s on the wall behind them. I’d say it’s a shelf but you can see clear through it around the corner.

So Nate indicates that there are five Wedgeman brothers who are evenly separated by four years each, so the family had one child every four years for sixteen years to ensure that Westview High would have a Wedgeman at fullback for twenty years. That sounds… deranged, even for Westview. It’s also pretty remarkable that from the sounds of it no trouble came about from Bull throwing Nameless Wedgeman off the team for bullying “someone”. If his family really did plan the births of their children around such a lunatic scheme, one would think that they would raise a fuss over Bull thwarting it in such a casual, informal fashion.

Anyway, the most slipshod strip of the week. Have at it.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Lost in Cleveland

Link to the Strip Du Jour

Whoops! Field trip’s over already! Don’t worry, you didn’t miss any gripping Westview High drama…because there wasn’t any. We went from yesterday’s permission slips to today’s return-trip headcount entirely off screen.

Y’know…Owen really has an unhealthy obsession with Wedgeman, doesn’t he? I bet if Jim Kaboosechiak sent Owen back into the Science Center to find him, ol Chullo’d make a beeline right for Wedgie. Someone ought to ship those two into some R34. (On second thought, never mind.)


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Going Unsteady

Aw, check it out, a sight-gag! Much like a exploding vacuum cleaner or face full of chimney soot, at least this is a comic I understand. Today’s comic still has those rascals obsessing over Wedgeman’s ring. It’s unhealthy. And hopefully Wedgeman’s main squeeze finds a better way to support that massive chunk of metal or coach is going to have to come over to rehab her back.


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Its a Rang Thang

Today’s strip give us one last chance to catch up with this rag-tag group of Westview misfits before sailing off into the sunset, other than the obvious matter of the Comix Corner and Montoni’s being the only places of employment in town so they’re bound to end up there. Late in the game, Tombat’s introduced us to the twin sisters that could conceivably shoulder the responsibility of being the students FW focuses on for the next five to eight years.


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Driving A Wedge Between Us

Link To Today’s Strip

I thought Wedgeman was a feared “senior bully” years ago. Now he’s in the same class as Stupid and Stupider? More proof that the Great Pulitzer Nominee doesn’t even care if anyone’s still paying attention. Like, for example, Wedgeman’s two entirely different noses today. Seriously man, come on. Someone go over to Batom Inc. HQ and poke him with a stick to see if he’s still conscious.

I’m just happy to see that TB is finally making school bullying funny again, like how it was back in The Olden Days when everything was way better. Owen’s been asking for it, you see? Kind of like when Lisa was shamelessly sauntering about senior beer-bashes with her red Solo cup like some sort of strumpet. In the Funkyverse you bring your fate upon yourself and even if you don’t it doesn’t matter as The Universe will strike you down sooner or later anyway. It’s all so clear to me now.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

All I’ve Got is a Photograph

September 14, 2014 at 11:52 pm
So a struggling sports department in a school with a constantly shrinking budget somehow manages to find the money to equip its entire team with Riddell Revolution helmets. For a team that is a yearly laughingstock…And that’s probably not their most egregious waste of money, since they apparently hired a head coach who doesn’t actually coach…Just watch as Batiuk runs the “Westview cuts the school budget” storyline yet again…

Charles’ quote came to mind when I saw today’s strip. The Fighting Scapegoats are indeed a laughingstock (though we’re not laughing). Clearly neither the coach nor the players could care less about football, winning, or even showing up for the team picture. In interviews, Batiuk is fond of talking about how he still visits his former high school for inspiration. But the Midview Middies of Grafton, OH are off to a 3-0 start (and even allowing for Batiuk’s famous year-in-advance schedule, last year they were on their way to a 7-3 record). But even back when TB, and you, and I were in high school, I never heard of a sports team that would accept losing as the status quo. Perhaps the team exists solely to give Les, Cayla, Linda, and the rest of Westview someplace to go on Friday nights in autumn.


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Refutation of Kant’s Categorical Imperitive

Link to today’s strip.

It’s interesting (and instructive) to note that in today’s episode, there are several breaks with Winkerbeanean orthodoxy, which in this instance challenge the commonly-held notion that the Funkyverse is a closed system.  Specifically, one notes Wedgeman’s impromptu coinage of Neeks juxtaposed with Owen’s expression noting a possible increased range (in a strictly functional sense, of course) of Wedgeman’s role beyond the brutish habitue of Westview’s cafeteria.  One could, perhaps, extend this newfound role into the football field as well (“rivals” and “enemies” becoming “renemivals”, eg–a formation typically Batiukian), except that Tom Batiuk has prematurely curtailed such an exploration by having Wedgeman banned from sport (see: SoSF, 10/21-27).  In any case, the possibilities (however slight) of expansion are indeed hinted here.

However, it should be noted en passant that Wedgeman’s mere production of a portmanteau cannot be ex facto evidence of heretofore unsuspected intellectual capacity, as the portmanteau phenomenon is more a function of language qua language and as such can be seen as removing “language” from the underlying “meaning” it is intended to convey, appropriating words as merely a series of connected ur-sounds to be arranged without regard to communicative function.  Thus, Wedgeman’s new role would seem to be more of the nature of a random element, one designed to decrease the comfort-levels of the characters as they interact within their limited confines, and thus, increase narrative in oblique directions; but then one must recall that “randomness” as a plot element (as opposed to a decorative one) is strictly forbidden within the Funkyverse due to the nature of the construct.  I feel certain you are as disappointed as I at the realization of this aspect, and I regret having to voice this argument, as it furthers the angst elements of the entire “Funky critique” positioning, while duly embracing the futility argument advanced by T.Batiuk (see notes)*.

As an aside, one has to note with approval the sheer exuberant gusto with which Wedgeman expresses the (self) enjoyment of his coinage, offering as it does an unexpected, unbridled joyousness at his achievement.  Such expressions are exceedingly rare in the Funkyverse, and one must applaud their occasional appearance, even if they grace the nominally villainous.

On the other hand, “neeks” is totally dumbheaded and dope-like, and hardly worthy of such celebration.   It is the very definition of dumbheaded.  Dumbheaded like a bag of towels.

*Due to a misplaced comma, the notes were not included by the typesetter, who offers this note in recompense: “You suck.  I hate you.  PS I quit.”


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