Tag Archives: Mallory

Sidelong Glance

Link to today’s strip.

Why does Tom Batiuk use these stupid sideways strips? While it makes less work for Ayers to draw them, it makes more work for the reader, and there’s never any reward for doing so.

Batiuk might say they make his strip unique, as no one else does this. That’s true–no other comic strip artist does this. The reason they don’t is very simple–it’s an idiotic idea that adds nothing, and subtracts a great deal. Much like an ermine violin, it’s an impractical thing to have. Here’s an idea: why not make up a completely new language for his characters, with no translations available? That would be unique, too. And it would save time for the reader, since he could just skip the whole thing and move on to Garfield.

I guess striving to be unique, even if that makes the strip more difficult, is his goal at this point. He certainly hasn’t been trying to make his characters interesting or his stories anything other than dull.

As for today’s entry, well…when I was in college, my father would arrange summer jobs for me between years. It was decent work, and it gave me some spending money. But he never did this during Christmas break, which is (I assume) why Summer and Keisha are there now. It seems like a rather mean trick to play on a kid.

One might argue that this gives Summer and Keisha some work skills, showing up on time, knowing your tasks, etc. Except I feel certain both of them have worked at Montoni’s, so they’d already have some idea of those things.

Any excuse to ruin someone’s holiday, I guess.

By the way, I refuse to believe the person “on the left” is Cayla. It doesn’t look anything like her.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Driving A Wedge Between Us

Link To Today’s Strip

I thought Wedgeman was a feared “senior bully” years ago. Now he’s in the same class as Stupid and Stupider? More proof that the Great Pulitzer Nominee doesn’t even care if anyone’s still paying attention. Like, for example, Wedgeman’s two entirely different noses today. Seriously man, come on. Someone go over to Batom Inc. HQ and poke him with a stick to see if he’s still conscious.

I’m just happy to see that TB is finally making school bullying funny again, like how it was back in The Olden Days when everything was way better. Owen’s been asking for it, you see? Kind of like when Lisa was shamelessly sauntering about senior beer-bashes with her red Solo cup like some sort of strumpet. In the Funkyverse you bring your fate upon yourself and even if you don’t it doesn’t matter as The Universe will strike you down sooner or later anyway. It’s all so clear to me now.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky


October 3, 2013 at 12:14 pm
Proof that outside of Lisa, Batiuk can only draw three kinds of women: homely, fat and older than they are; look like guys or hatchet-faced.

That is generally true; however in today’s strip, Alex is made to resemble a homely, fat, older hatchet-faced guy. A grand slam! Actually, she resembles Les’ bag-lady-turned-superagent Ann Apple.

Mallory’s “costume” consists of a nice dress which would’ve been appropriate even for a non-Zombie homecoming, and a couple randomly applied dabs of grime (and is this the un-bloodiest zombie gathering ever?). Actually, she does look pretty good, particularly for a Batiuk female, but we’ll let the Goth chick enjoy her little zinger.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Friday Night Blights

Okay, the fact the team is terrible aside, today’s strip got me thinking: Do they even make clothing for amputees?

The first thing I stumbled on was a Zazzle site, maker of fine coffee mugs and keychains, that showcased amputee humor. A lot of people far finer than I am have lost limbs for a variety of reasons, and it’s refreshing they seem to have a sense of humor about it. Still, I just can’t imagine pinning up a sleeve every morning. Why go through the trouble?

Ah well, at least the pinned-up sleeve is someting consistent in this strip.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky


You’d think that producing Westview High’s closed-circuit morning newscast would be a job that a couple of geeks like Cody and Owen could not only do but might actually do pretty well. Naturally, everything goes terribly awry, as typified by the fact that the picture on the TV is upside down. Just more fuel for Les and Linda’s disdain of their idiot students.

Never mind that, though. Get a load of who’s sitting in the front row: it’s Alex, most recently seen dispensing totally worthless relationship advice to lovestruck Owen. Surely there is some retconning going on here: we met Alex at mopey Pete’s book signing in December 2007 (see below), and she appeared to be at least high school age five years ago (I was going point to the fact that she sported tattoos even back then, but apparently Ohio law allows minors to get tattoos with parental consent). She’s certainly old enough for Pete to attempt hitting on, though we know that that’s not the best indicator. Note that her model sheet on the Meet the Cast page is one of the few that does not give an age. How convenient.

Dec. 10, 2007 strip:


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Basket Boink

A couple questions: we know that Bull coaches the girls’ basketball team, and is Westview’s athletic director. But what class is he teaching here? Have we ever seen him in front of a classroom? Maybe he’s been pressed into service to cover for one of the teachers who’ve been let go? And why is he holding a putter?


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Go Ask Alex

Everyone say hi to Alex, Westview’s only comix fangirl (since Chien vanished) and mopey Pete’s biggest admirer, in her first strip appearance in over five years. Owen and his usual sidekick Cody are apparently on the outs since that yearbook photo remark, and anyway, what does Cody know about gurlz? The Chullo’d One, like Pete, just cannot understand why women don’t find him appealing. Alex responds to Owen’s plight not with empathy but with teasing. Poor Owen is a geek even among geeks.


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Jeffcoat Wayne
May 11, 2012 at 12:22 am
How fortunate Summer just happened to pass by, and how extra fortunate she just happens to have everyone’s cell number programmed into her phone.

Indeed, and now “everyone” is prepared to walk out. I bet Owen comes out with that “With great power comes great responsibility” quote five or six times a day, whether or not it applies (and here it does not). Cody, meanwhile, still feeling the effects of his abuse at the hands of Wedgeman, has accepted his insignificance.

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Befuddled, Fatuous Fools

Owen sure loves to talk about “fantasy”. This time, though, he’s not referring to his own overheated imagination: Amazing Fantasy #15 is the 1962 comic book that introduced the Amazing Spider-Man, who I hear has a new movie coming out.

So Blondie in the background there, I’m guessing that’s “the world’s perfect genome” Mallory Brooks, Cody’s “imaginary marriage partner” from Ms. Bushka’s class last spring. She despised Cody so much that she dropped the class just to get away from him; a year later she thinks he’s “really special”. Is it the arrival of spring causing all these Westview teens to fall inexplicably in love with each other, or is someone pumping Ecstacy into the water supply?

Proving once again that SoSF is your #1 source on the web for all things Batiuk: this breathless local news piece on the artist at work:

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Owen the Clone

No wonder Cody and Owen are besties: both enjoy dressing up for Halloween, and then berating anyone who incorrectly guesses at who or what they’re supposed to be. Admittedly, today’s strip is actually funny! Generic Blonde Chick (Mallory or whoever) is kinda flirty, even playfully knocking on “Ben Reilly’s” head, before Owen’s fanboy douchery gives him away.

But the real treat today, of course, is the sight of Les in panel 2, strutting down the hall in full Elizabethan drag! “Hey Mr. Moore! Nice Shakespeare costume!” “Why, I’m not Shakespeare, you dunce! This is a Francis Bacon costume!”

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