Author Archives: sosfdavido

Groot Expectations

SoSfDavidO here! And here’s an early link to today’s strip, as I’m heading out to a re-enactment of William Henry Harrison’s inauguration speech this weekend and won’t be back until Monday morning.

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Wood You Leaf Me Alone

Well well, look who is slumming it with the rest of the non-Hollywood crowd in today’s strip, none other than Crazy Harry and Dead Skunkhead! I wasn’t sure they’d make it, but I guess they scraped up enough cash and thankfully for Jon I guess there’s no schools or daycares within 1000 ft of the convention.

Panel 2’s background is a mite cluttered but it looks like Crazy Harry is about to lose his sandwich to a guy in Guardians of the Galaxy cosplay. Because hey, the first movie came out a year ago so why not! Skunky’s face in panel two, meanwhile, is sliding so much he looks like he’s morphing into a human skateboard.

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Cinema Sins of the Father

SosfdavidO here, with the biggest shovel I could find because even for Tombat’s writing, today’s strip reeks of absolute bullshit.

So what age is Mason now? I’m going to be kind.. KIND, mind you, and peg him at 32. He’s probably more like 35 but for the sake of argument, he’s 32.

Now it’s time for some simple math, courtesy of Wikipedia.

List of Serial Movies by Decade

Perusing the list, one can see that the last gasp of serialized movies happened the mid-50s and the end of the space soap operas like Starbucks Jones ended around 1953, when all of America collectively got a cowboy fetish.

So if Cliff was 32 in say, 1952, that would mean he was born in 1920. NINETEEN F***ing TWENTY. That would make him just shy of 98 years old. Does the grey haired dude in panel 2 look 98? Or even 78!?

Maybe it’s the whole thing is CG and Cliff just had to croak out a few lines but even looking at him strolling around the streets without as much as a walker is some Grade A Bullshit Tommy is slinging there.

Maybe we can pretend the time jumps that hit Westview every couple of decades work in reverse wherever the hell Cliff Anger came from. Was that New York?

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Sizzle Lean

SosfdavidO here, fresh off my rant from yesterday about how unlikely it is that Darrin, who had only a passing interest in art in high school, is suddenly Hollywood’s Golden Boy when it comes to story-boarding.

Deep breath…

My disbelief extends well into today’s strip, where with only a off-hand passing mention we’re supposed to believe Cindy is hard at work on a documentary movie about the original Starbucks Jones actor.

Sure, it’s been mentioned she was working on it before, but land sakes, this is a major life event for Cindy and she seems to devote 2 hours a year to it at most. Will this movie ever see the light of day? Just how many damned movie projects are getting juggled in this dopey strip now, anyway? I know there was a Lisa movie that got canned, then a John Darling movie, now the Cliff Anger movie and Starbucks sequels… like, whoa, Tombat went from hating Hollywood to it’s biggest fan. What gives? Probably the rise of super hero movies being every other damned movie at this point.

Anyhow, back to this stroll along Exposition Drive…

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Retcon Artist

SosfDavidO here, and it looks like the boys are back at Comic-Con in today’s strip. The human lamprey John is nowhere to be seen this time, however! He probably still owes them for the hotel from last year. That and the “Oh, my, I seem to have forgotten my wallet.” routine near the end of a pricey Comic-con hotel dinner was probably enough to give him the boot.

But enough about Dead Skunk Head. Let’s talk about Darin, who, up until he got reconned into being a Hollywood storyboard artist a few years ago had been reconned into a mobile applications developer. That’s right, lifelong passion for art and expensive animation school be damned, Pete asked him to come out to Hollywood and suddenly he’s shitting out major studio quality storyboards like he’d been doing it as long as people with decades of experience in the industry.

Time will tell if Tombat can handle Darin being an anonymous storyboard artist for long or if some director will look at him and say: “I don’t care if he’s had a lick of acting school, let’s make him the lead in the Starbucks Jones Junior Space Cadet series!”

Meanwhile, Wally, who has been struggling in school and trying to get his life together didn’t even get as much as a panel in yesterday’s 4th of July strip. Nope, instead we got a lame pun about sand. SAND.

I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

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Sandsational

Not much to see in today’s strip other than Mason’s attempt at being punny. Have a safe 4th everyone!

today’s strip

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Doofy Stars

A new week, a new arc! SosfdavidO here, and whoa, who is Mason Jarr out with in today’s strip!? Cindy better not catch him with this much younger curvy, attractive blonde woman or she’s going to blow a fuse!

Oh, wait, that’s right. This woman walking with Mason it none other than “Eternally 30” Cindy Summers, who is now, thanks to the magic of Tombat’s airbrush, now basically half Funky’s age.

 cindy_young

I’m sucking out your lifeforce as you stand there…

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