Les Waddles Off

Les’ hilarious struggles against writer’s block continue! If his self talk in panel 2 sounds a little odd, it’s because he’s merely repeating what he misheard as encouragement from Cayla.


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33 responses to “Les Waddles Off

  1. BeckoningChasm

    You know, if Les Moore is Tom Batiuk’s avatar, and Les Moore is suffering from a crippling writer’s block that prevents him from meaningful writing…perhaps someone is offering a confession here.

  2. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Maybe if you had a copy of the book on your desk so you could refresh yourself on the material, Les… Oh, that’s not necessary because you lived it? Then what the fuck is your problem, man?

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Classic Act III storytelling going on here today. As the week begins to wind down, we ignore the mysterious weirdo we met in yesterday’s final panel and reiterate, for those who might have missed it, that Les has writers block (and pizza). FW: the comic strip where story always takes a back seat to glacial pacing and a well-stretched premise.

  4. Rick Brooks

    “Light this cracker” makes no sense. Is he misquoting Alan Shepard (“Light this candle”)?

  5. Louder

    One of the things that continues to baffle me is this: Less is spending all this time trying to write the script, Cayla is riding his ass, and it’s all happening at their home! What, did the both quit their jobs when the check came? Who is teaching Less’ famous English Lit class? Or has Westview shut down so Less can write this masterpiece? Who’s answering the phone for heaven’s sake! No wonder NotLisa is cranky, she’s hitched her wagon to a loser.

    This whole writer’s block is plain stupid, dumb, and makes zero sense. Less must be working for the easiest studio ever, I mean, he’s going to submit the whole script, at once! I guess he didn’t bother with a Spec Script, so he’s going straight into the Production Script, you know, writing the scenes and shots for the director and producers, which he’s has absolutely no experience at, but in BatCrazy’s world, will win Less the Oscar. This arc is a pure, stinking pile of crap.

  6. Look, Les, I’m not one to point fingers at other people’s procrastinating. Hell, I’m doing this right now instead of taking notes for my next review like I really should be. But don’t you dare pull crap like this and then sit around whining “Waaaah I can’t write anything why is it so hard?!?” Either admit you’re your own worst enemy here, or put on your big boy pants and DEAL, already.

  7. Rusty

    When does Les’s cardigan get its own tag?

    TFH sez: we will take that under advisement, though I’d be more inclined to assign a tag to the blue Kent State shirt he’s rockin’ today.

  8. Sean D.

    Since we’ve revealed the true identity of the “Lord of Late” to be Pete, will Les turn out to be the “Purple Prose Procrastinator?” (Was going to use “Lord of the Lame,” but we figured out that secret ID a LOOOOOOOOONG time ago.)

  9. Jimmy

    The malapropisms would be endearing if Les were someone at least as likable as Crankshaft.

  10. Epicus Doomus

    Oh, like a FIRE cracker. OK, I get it. Took almost an hour and a half, but yep, in the main I made sense out of it. Good one.

  11. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$$$

    Instead of wasting money and time filming a movie , why don’t they just edit all the bajillion tapes Lisa produced and make a goddamn documentary, instead?

  12. BeckoningChasm

    $Westview$ – that’s a great idea! It could be the latest of those popular (and quickly forgotten) “found footage” movies. Which would make the number of “good” films in that genre…ooo, it’s dropped by three!

  13. Slager

    Um, is the pizza lying outside in the yard?

  14. S.P. Charles

    Louder, Les was given all the (presumably paid) time off he needed for his book tours, presumably because of all the fame he brought to Westview (maybe the school system wouldn’t be going broke if they hadn’t had to hire substitute teachers for most of the year): so it stands to reason that he’s being given time off to write his screenplay.

    And I guess it makes sense to give Cayla time off with pay as well to nag him, otherwise he’d never get the damn thing finished.

  15. DOlz

    @Jimmy, ouch that one really stung. Bravo!

  16. Helskor

    Don’t beat yourself up, Les. Everyone on here knows hard it it is to write anything interesting about you and Lisa (and we’re not even getting paid for it).

  17. Beanie Wanker

    “You done yet, Sweater Boy?”

    “We’ll, most of it…”

    “Gimme dat. ‘Fade in????’ Zat all you gots? I’m gonna light you up, Cracka!”

    Time to call “bullshit” again. Seems to me on Sunday, after imagining himself winning an Oscar and being cheered on by Dead Lisa, Goatee McCardigan gained new focus, sat down, and with “Fade in,” heroically went to work on his epic masterpiece.

    But no. More tedious writers block, Lord of the Late bullcrap. Which gives me an idea about where this trainwreck is going. Place your bets — Will Dead Lisa appear and help “Spanky” write this shit? C’mon, BatHack, we know that’s what you want to do. But you also know you’ll be flamed to a crisp for such a sappy, maudlin development. Just do it. Do it and get it over with, ya nitwit.

  18. Señor Tortilla

    I’m guessing that there is no Dead Ghost Lisa. Her ghost appearing to help write “Lisa’s Story” was just a manifestation of the insanity of Les. When she called Les to not get on the plane? Never happened. What really happened was Les was just bumped off his flight. There was no bombs or mechanical failure.

  19. Merry Pookster

    Tom Battyuck is truly Baron Von Munchausen

    It’s that simple

  20. Just a production note: I’ve been getting the posts up a little earlier for y’all, but Saturday’s strip was not available for preview, so tomorrow’s post won’t go live ’til midnight tonite. Thanks!

  21. billytheskink

    I was all set to ponder whether Les means that he’s going to illuminate a white person or set fire to the fuse of a small noisemaking device… then I read today’s Crankshaft.

    Once again, TB’s timing is really creeping me out.

  22. Helskor

    4/20 isn’t until tomorrow, Les, but if lighting a “cracker” unconstipates your imagination, go for it. Good idea to get the leftover pizza in advance.

  23. Beanie Wanker

    Having a hard time finding references to real Earthlings using the term “light this cracker.” Into the BatDicktionary it goes!

    TFH sez: Fair enough. Done!

  24. Señor Tortilla

    Well, as tasteless as Batiuk’s timing is (regarding the explosion in West, Texas), this sort of thing is done in advance. That doesn’t forgive when Batiuk blew up the post office on the first year anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing.

  25. John

    Les: *BURP* “Man, I ate way too much pizza. I have to stop distracting myself…after I have a Coke!”

    Les: *BELCH* “Man, that Coke was way too syrupy. Okay, now I really, really have to write…after I indulge in that pan of lemon bars Linda dropped off.”

    Les: *FAAAAAAART* “Woo, what did that woman PUT in those bars? Okay, now I really, really, REALLY have to write! …after I visit the facilities!”

    Les: *unimaginably disgusting sound effects* “….man. I feel a hundred pounds lighter. Guess I should have bowel movements more than once every three months? Okay! No more pro-crastinating! Now I really, really, REALLY have to wri-”

    Cayla: “Les? Ann just called. Cable Movie Entertainment decided to put Lisa’s Story into turnaround because it was too similar to another project they already had in development.”

    Les: “Hmmph! I guess there WERE some children left behind!”

  26. Gyre

    So yeah, this pretty much looks like another ‘writer’s block’ stretch (maybe even an arc). This makes how many so far?

  27. Andrew

    I just got the Complete Funky Winkerbean Vol. 1 when I went to Kent State last week (signed by the Bat himself, dunno if that’s an honor or not, but at least he still somewhat can still draw pre-Les-Takeover HS Funky), and I discovered that Les had a bit of a running gag for a while for being addicted to Montoni’s delivery. How about shining that under the modern light, huh Tom?

    Also of note, in my reading, ’twas humorous to see the likes of Crazy Harry & Les when they were the people that made Funky look like Only Sane Man, see Wally as a baby long before he got wrecked by drunk driving and military bumbles, and witness Mr. Stroke Fairgood in his guidance consular role (BTW, the flashback during the recent arc about him joking about the coach abducting his daughter was an actual strip back in the day).

    And now that I’ve gotten to read his strips, I can now officially call the School Computer my favorite Funky character.

  28. billytheskink

    Well, as tasteless as Batiuk’s timing is (regarding the explosion in West, Texas), this sort of thing is done in advance. That doesn’t forgive when Batiuk blew up the post office on the first year anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing.

    Though I was thinking of the explosion in West, TB’s timing with today’s Crankshaft may actually be more tasteless in regards to Oklahoma City, as that tragedy occured on this day, April 19, in 1995.
    What I find creepy about this, though, is that it is done well in advance, and that it is not the first time.

    Hurricane Sandy
    2011’s Japanese Earthquake/Tsunami
    – The summer 2008 Crankshaft strip about smuggling a bomb onto an airplane in one’s underwear that preceded the real life attempted underwear bomber by 6 months.
    – Even the post office bombing arc you mention… it hit the comics page right after the Centennial Park bombings in Atlanta.

    As I said, creepy.

  29. BeckoningChasm

    OT but holy crap! It looks like the entire Funky Winkerbean Official Site is either down or has gone away!

    I assume there’s an issue with the hosting company, since I can’t imagine Tom Batiuk’s skin is that thin.

    Maybe he uses GoDaddy too?

  30. bad wolf

    I have a suggestion for Batiuk’s next writer’s block arc: The next time Pete is trying to write Superman, he should have the character Clark Kent crying about having to turn in a journalism assignment while he’s fighting a case of writer’s block. Because when you think about it, Superman’s greatest and most entertaining aspect is his civilian life as a best-selling writer, and that’s the thing that comics can really show best.

    And thus the snake devours it’s own tail, and hopefully itself.

  31. John

    A writer, writing about a writer, writing about a writer…writing.

    Nah, judging by all the self-published novels I’ve seen, that wouldn’t even slow the snake DOWN. :/

  32. If Batominc were paying attention to craft and detail, that corporate entity would research whether a strip drawn with a year’s led time might be inappropriate. Then it could sub in another strip. An editor at the syndicate might help with the research.

    Let’s see if on 4/20 Les manifests his procrastination by goose-stepping around the “studio” and sporting a Hitler mustache.