I suspect that those of you who didn’t venture a guess that yesterday’s “news” was Jessica’s pregnancy suspected it anyway, but were hoping against hope that it’d be something, anything else.
billytheskink
April 22, 2013 at 9:25 am
This a great setup for Darrin to hand Ann the newspaper he just picked up out of her yard…
Now that would have been funny!
Rusty
April 21, 2013 at 11:48 pm
Time for Lisa’s “Now that my bastard son has gotten some bimbo pregnant” VHS tape.
You know such a tape must exist; St. Lisa covered every (ahem) conceivable possibility!
Jim
April 22, 2013 at 6:40 am
Why would a pair living above a crappy pizza joint with no real source of income view a pregnancy as anything but ambivalent news?
That was my thought, too. Unless she also has some Hollywood “WOW” checks coming in, Jess has no visible means of support other than Darin, who leveraged his MBA to become VP of Marketing…for Montoni’s Pizzeria.
Son of Stuck Funky 
First! (I always wanted to say that.) Wonder what’s up with the official FW site? It’s been down for several days, just a generic 404 page. Usually if you’re rolling out a site redesign, you A. give people a heads-up and B. have the redesigned site ready to go and just “throw the switch.”
Was expecting this…just hoping against it.
I’m sure Jessica’s doctor will mix up her file or something.
Better check on Montoni’s coverage for this on the group plan
Will they be breaking the news to Fred?
What a clever ploy by TB to have enough material for the next 9 months. By that time Lisa’s Story will be in production….The hits just keep on rollin’
Darin: “…and I hope you notice that I’ve shifted my mouth completely over to one side of my face. This is your cue that what I’m saying is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS. Feel free to start laughing.”
Ann: “….”
Jess: *polite chuckle*
Darin: *fumes*
Ann: “Well! What made you decide to randomly begin a family after ten years of a sexless marriage?”
Darin: “MOM!”
Jess: “…uh…”
Ann: “What? I always assumed that you two simply can’t stand each other in bed, just like me and Fred. Why do you think we adopted?”
Darin: “Well, we really have to be going n-”
Jess: “Oh, please. Darin’s not that great in bed, but I can cope with how inadequate he is.”
Ann: “Personally, I just have affairs. Loads of them. Even more, since Fred had the stroke!”
Darin: “…AAAAAAUGH!”
**********************************
Bitter again. Lashing out.
I didn’t think Batominc could pull off a happy expression, but in panels 1 & 2 Fishstick Annie looks truly joyous. So you know what that means, right, Universe?
“I helped with the delivery…”
“She’ll do the heavy lifting…”
I realize Darrin and Fred don’t share the same DNA, but I think it’s a safe bet that this kid’s eventual sense of humor won’t be any more evolved than that of his natural surroundings.
TB’s site was stuck a couple of days ago, there was an ad for FW vol II superimposed over the home page, I couldn’t click out of it.
Remember, guys, that Montoni’s was once a multi-state franchise.Now it just employs every able-bodied male in Westview. And Les.
While it is nice of Darrin to acknowledge that his wife has the most difficult part of this whole process, he might not want to look quite so smug about it. “Yyyyyep, Jess is going to be the one dealing with morning sickness, mood swings, back pain, weight gain, swollen breasts, cankles, being kicked awake from the inside at three in the morning, and hours of excruciating labor pains. I’m just going to kick back and enjoy the ride!”
So the pizza-app genius and the unemployed (theoretical) “documentary film maker” who occupy Pete’s old Montoni’s-scented digs are expecting a child. Oh goody. Something about imagining these characters having intercourse fills me with the urge to vomit then die. Can’t wait for the one where Les tells Lisa she’s a grandmother, or the one where Boy Lisa gives FTR a shiner after his innocent queries re: the family bloodline are met with sneering drunken derision. Why, this thing almost writes itself, which is undoubtedly why BatTrope is going in this direction in the first place.
Re: the official FW website. About time he addresses that time capsule of a website, you’d figure a comic strip with such a rich tapestry of characters (haw) would provide fans (har) with some sort of flow chart or whatever, but instead all I ever saw there were a few hopelessly out of date group pics, some tiresome old strips everyone’s seen a billion times and that (chortle) blog of his. Yeah, it is weird that there’s no placeholder though.
bathacks going with TV formula , readership dropping time for someone to have baby
My first thought was that he’d let the domain registration expire. Nope, looks like it’s still on, probably since it’s maintained through his lawyers. And we all know he keeps in close contact with them.
On one hand, there’s actual plot development.
On the other hand, it has nothing to do with Frankie’s random reappearance.
You guys ready for 9 months of filler?
“And I’m going to HELP WITH THE DELIVERY! Ha ha ha. No, but seriously, I’m just going to drive her home with the baby when it’s all over. You’re on your own, Jess.”
Dillweed won’t be smirking like that when the baby comes out looking like Principal Nate.
My guess is this is the last we hear about Les “Home Run” Moore’s stupid ass movie deal for another two years, and the last we hear about Skid Row Freddie – ever.
And wait, weren’t we just at the climax of the Groundbreaking Bullying Arc? That went nowhere. Is that over? I guess we learned that big retarded looking guys can bully short, squat, 40 year old high school students, but will quit as long as a short, squat, 50 year old teacher is around to give them a dirty look. Clear some room in the trophy case for THAT one, Swishy Tom.
I think a better third panel should’ve been “Baby? Who said anything about that?”
That incongruous pitch black background in the first two panels as the happy news is revealed- foreshadowing or ineptitude?
Satan was unamused by Darin’s jape, and sent a disembodied hand to drag him down to Hell.
I know that making fun of the it’s-called-drawing in this strip is like shooting fish in a barrel, but wow is Panel 3 a mess.
Ya right… Did Jess or Durwood say “Baby”?
You know I’ll say this for Darrin…it does take a REAL man to wear a pink “Member’s Only” Jacket.
I’m hoping that when Lisa’s Story comes out, there will be, in the Funkiverse, harsh criticisms of the film for our Resident Genius Writer to deal with. These critics, are, of course, based after us!
We would see “T.F. Hatchet”, “Epic Doofus“, and a host of others.
The tears from Tom Batiuk’s face will be delicious.
Helskor…it’s the lead -lined ceiling.
Just how sick does a “comic” have to be when Jess is pregnant and everyone thinks something bad is going to happen? And BatHack is proud of that? What. A. Dick.
So, is this “heavy lifting” that Jessica’s going to do the reason she’s taken a vow of silence?
I’m going to sneak in a little praise because the phrase, “we’re pregnant” wasn’t used.
Absolutely every comment over at Comics Kingdom (except those done really recently) has exactly one down-vote. Gee, I wonder who did that?
“I’m terribly sorry, Mr. & Mrs. Boy Lisa, but there were complications during the delivery. I don’t quite know how to say this, but….”
“Spare us your hidebound literalism, Doc, spit it out!”
“Unfortunately, the child appears…happy…no signs of wry smirking as of yet. I’m so sorry.”
“I KNEW it wasn’t mine! In the main, I want a DNA test!”
I so wish that no-talent hack Tom Batyuck would come here to comment. He would get his wig split in no time flat.
You KNOW he reads this stuff. Believe me, Batdung isn’t so secure that he could just brush SoSF off and never bother to come here. Probably the corporate attorneys at Batom Inc HQ advise Swishy Tom not to comment, but we all know he lurks. Hi, Tommeh.
The kid will have Down’s syndrome as Tom tries to win awards from ARC.
@Duane: Or how about Autism or tay-sachs disease? I could see that. What else could happen…
-The child isn’t Darrin’s.
-Jess and/or the baby don’t survive the birth.
-Miscarriage
-Darrin dies before the baby is born
-The child is premature, survives the birth, but dies shortly after.
-Jess gets ovarian cancer and they must choose whether to have the baby or not.