Epicus Doomus
April 25, 2013 at 10:53 pm
[N]ote how once again the premise (“Jessica is pregnant”) IS the entire “story”, not merely a launching point for something more…
And the “story” enters its second week. “So are you two planning to look for a house? Or do you intend to live in a succession of seedy apartments in run-down neighborhoods, like Fred and I did?” Such trivial matters will have to wait: Jessica’s decided, now that she’s pregnant with her first child, it’s the perfect time to get started on that John Darling documentary, one of the things that brought her and Darin back to Westview two years ago.
Son of Stuck Funky 
So I was wrong: it’s actually a launching pad for EVERTHING! Les took the big Hollywood payoff and is suffering from writer’s block again. Funky is suddenly gossiping with his rarely-seen ex-wife. Frankie is coming back to wreak havoc, Jessica is pregnant AND John Darling!
Again, all of the possible permutations and outcomes here seem way too complicated and involved for a FW storyline. If BatTom can actually pull this all together somehow AND get Lisa in there too, well, I’ll be quite impressed. I’ll believe that when I see it, right now I’m just mostly confused.
Lisa and John Darling: Batom’s two proudest moments and not coincidentally his two biggest kills. Such a strange and difficult comic strip.
On one hand, something’s happening.
On the other hand, we’ve been gypped: we weren’t waiting a week for development, we were waiting for two years.
Wow! John Darling, the TV host who was murdered! And he shouldn’t be too hard to find, either, unless there’s a second cemetery somewhere in Westview. Or just take a peek in Les’s basement, because he might even be mummified and sitting in a rocking chair down there. I guess this passes for incredible that both Darrin AND Jessica’s dads have re-entered the storyline. Les already knows who killed John Darling, but Jessica will be the one who makes the surprising reveal that he was raped by Frankie soon after.
Funny how Jessica feels the need to remind everyone who her father was. You know, the famous talk show host who was famously murdered? Yeah, I can see how people would easily forget that particular part of your backstory.
“Well, now that we spent an obligatory 5 minutes with Fred, let’s go downstairs and have an adult discussion.”
“…a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.”
As long as this statement remains…gloves are off.
PJ.. no substantial work for Darin…no work at all for Jessica..oh that stink hole apartment..AND NOW you’re looking for your Dad?
The only thing that’d wrap all this up in a nice tidy bundle would be if someone…anyone would ever read Les’s book on Who Murdered John Darling and finds out it was Frankie all along.
Also highly amusing how Ann thinks her pizza app designing son is in any position to buy a house, even one in Westview. Although in fairness you could probably buy a decent-sized house in Westview for like what, two hundred bucks or so? Boy Lisa could probably get that down payment together in two, three months max. Unless, of course, Montoni’s doesn’t offer a health plan that includes spouses, in which case he’s probably in way over his head.
Wild times in the Funkyverse, right? This wild, willy-nilly intersecting of arcs old and new has the potential to be the biggest FW event in quite a while, at least since that arc where Funky traveled into the past after turning down that vodka and orange. Speaking of which, how do we know that Cell Phone Girl wasn’t blabbing on the phone with FTR on that fateful night, hmmm?
Is Batiuk going to reveal that FTR was really John Darlings assassin? Because that would be lame on an epic level.
No, Merry Pookster, it was Lisa.
OK, so reuniting with dads seems to be the theme here: Darin, Kerry, Jessica… Bunky’s definitely getting at something here.
Meanwhile, the dad who was actually there for his kid’s childhood is shuffled away to another room somewhere, mumbling about brds nd bees.
I just want to know how the hell the inevitable comeuppance for FTR is going to work, considering that the only other party to his misdeed is dead (she died, you know! Of cancer!) and apparently never filed charges, and anyway the statute of limitations is probably up. I mean, if Lisa (or rather, the people who did the deciding on things for the saintly-passive Dead Saint Lisa) didn’t get a bee up their bonnet about it before, why would it suddenly matter now, and why would he have to come back to Westview for it? Is this crappy little corner of Ohio a jurisdiction unto itself, whose laws hold no sway in the outside world? Will we be treated to Les Moore as Joe Don Smirker in Cancer Justice?
So Jessica is going to look for her dead Dad? That means one of two things have happened:
1) She has had some kind of head trauma and no longer remembers he is dead
2) This is the one I hope is happening. The zombie apocalypse has started and she wants to find him to offer him Les’ brain.
Hmm. A documentary filmmaker, huh? Well, I work with filmmakers (some who even make documentaries sometimes!), and I have fairly-steady work in commercial video myself (which pays more than being a “documentary filmmaker, generally), and last year was the first time I earned enough to put myself above the poverty line, sooo… good luck with that “house” thing
Fishstick: “So are you two planning to look for a house now that dot dot dot?”
Jennifer: “HA! HAIL no! We’re faking this pregnancy so you’ll ask us to move in with YOU!”
Pizza App Kid: “***”
Jasmine: “What…?”
Fishstick: “I think I’ll go make some cookies and dot dot dot.”
Pizza App Boy: “***”
Jocelyn: “What…?”
Darin: “Hey, wasn’t your father shot and killed years ago?”
Jess: “Oh…right.”
Durwood: “Haha, yeah… Hey, since we’re here, can we borrow a shovel for a completely unrelated matter?”
I’m sure his body rests not far from that the of the Sainted St Lisa – patron saint of passively accepting whatever happens to you.
I’m hoping that tomorrow’s strip will show Frankie taking over as CEO of Westview’s other business–GoDaddy.com. (“Next to the Komix Korner above Montoni’s–our staff is powered by pepperoni!”)
Any mention of Batuik’s work will mention that he tackled cancer and that John Darling got murdered.
So ACT III is Batuik trying to recreate his past.
Its over Tom. Nothing wrong with admitting it. Just think how you might be remembered if you had quit after Act II or better yet Act I. Fondly. Not Bill Watterson fondly but better than you will be.
Here you go, Jessica. Did your research for you.
The thing is, if making that blasted documentary was -really- important to Jessica, she’d have been working on it all along.
Just like if writing the first screenplay had -really- been important to Les, he’d have already had a completed, formatted, registered and copyrighted demo script the moment CME moved forward.
Ultimately, the way you choose to spend your free time shows what really matters to you. With Les, it’s moping and whining. With Jess, it’s quietly staring off into space.
I don’t have much trust in Tom’s view of the creative process, you know?
I should note, that Tom might be taking a cue from his beloved SEINFELD here. Fan favorite episodes such as “The Marine Biologist” got a lot of mileage out of taking several seemingly distinct, separate plot threads and gradually entwining them together, until that final clincher in the coda that leaves one delighted.
Then I remember this is “Funky Winkerbean”. Except the John Darling docudrama to get mentioned once, maybe twice more in the next week or so, then watch the plot thread get dropped like a stone into deep water for the epic “DATE RAPE, PAY ATTENTION TO ME, GIMME AWARDS!” arc.
Breaking news!
AOL pulls plug on ComicsAlliance:
ROBOT 6 has confirmed rumors circulating this weekend at Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo that parent company AOL has shut down the comics news site ComicsAlliance. The move came Friday amid the abrupt closings of AOL Music and several music news and video sites.
Someone on the Comics King forum wanted to know why a brother and sister were having a child together. I suggested that in fact they were TWINS, sharing one brain in the womb. Each got a half at birth, which explains… well, just about everything.
Wow! John Darling, the TV host who was murdered!
Did you know I wrote a book about him, before I wrote a book about my wife, Lisa, Our Lady Of Perpetual Visitations, who died of cancer?
“The first thing I’m going to look for is my dad, John Darling. Next, I’ll need a screenwriter. Gee, who here in Westview could possibly write a screenplay? Why, I know…I’ll just ask Westview’s greatest author, Les Moore, to write my documentary script for me!”
They’ll have an easy time finding a house, I’m sure most of Westview is Section 8 housing.
Oh no! That was where “Most Depressing Funky Winkerbean” was (now, if only AOL would cut Huffington Post–nah, they’ll probably BECOME HuffPo at this rate)
Anyway, seems there’s been a rash of closures on everything–1Up and GameSpy were both given the axe earlier this year as well.