I may be forced to create a tag
for “baleful expression”!
Darin arrives home from work (that is, walks upstairs) still in a fit of pique following his phone conversation with his long-lost biological father, Frankie. Jessica appears at first taken aback at first by her husband’s display of emotion, mainly because they both spent most of their strip time these past few weeks simpering like morons. 
Then she turns on the charm, which makes her eyes look weird…in panel 3, Jess’ whiteless eyes remind me somehow of “Lizz” from the Dick Tracy strips of the 60’s, whose eyes used to scare the hell out of young me.
Son of Stuck Funky 
No, Jess. No. The appropriate thing to say in this instance is “This is your decision, and I will support you in whatever you decide to do.” If Darin doesn’t want anything to do with his sperm donor, don’t pressure him into connecting with the guy. (Of course if you did something as sane and reasonable as that, we wouldn’t have a plot….)
This is just like that time Ali MacGraw tried to pressure Ryan O’Neal to call Ray Milland on the phone — which means Jessica will probably die from leukemia by this time next year.
Of course, some guy calls out of the blue, says he’s your father, why check further? Why ask for any proof? Why ask Less, who was married to your birth-mother about it? Just take the guy at his word! Geesh, what a dumbass! These people deserve each other, their stupidity is astounding.
Jess seems strangely turned on by this development. Because her father, John Darling, isn’t around to explain how he banged her mother in the back of a van?
Man, this BatCon is a real piece of work. The guy just never ceases to amaze me. Jessica was the one who originally persuaded Boy Lisa to open up this can of unsavory sepia-toned worms in the first place and now she’s DOING IT AGAIN! So it’s a re-hash within a “re-visiting” that’s already BEEN re-visited AND re-hashed. Nice work, Pulitzer (nominee) Boy.
Boy Lisa sure is mad at that card, eh? Imagine the NERVE of that guy! He should have sought out Darin the proper way, like how Darin found his birthmother. He should have waited until Derwin was dying of an incurable disease (plus or minus a year or two), then met him on the front porch to exchange deep meaningful smirks. Well, Boy Lisa doesn’t have a porch, but the alley next to Montoni’s would probably work just as well. You’re in Westview now, Frankie: there’s a protocol.
I’m confused. Does Darin know Frankie is (apparently) a rapist, or is it just “you were never there for me” angst? It’s been weeks since he said he’d rather die than meet Frankie and we still haven’t been told why.
This isn’t suspense, either. Suspense is knowing what the hero wants and waiting anxiously to see if he can overcome. This is… nothing.
Wait a second! what’s Jessica’s angle here?
Is she trying to set up Darrin to get him killed? Is this some pathetic insurance money grab? What company would be insane enough to insure a Westview resident? I mean, besides the insurance companies that Funky owns himself.
Is she trying to subtly let Darrin know that she wants a three way with him and his father. *Barf* Gross!!!! I guess we should be thankful that she didn’t choose Les Moore for her third wheel.
No, what I really suspect is that she knows having a Lisa’s story movie will cause more interest in people buying Lisa’s story (God knows, why…)
Having a competing book will hurt Jessica’s bottom line in term’s of sales for John Darling’s story. Hence like the puppetmaster, Jessica pulls Darrin’s strings to do her bidding with the promise of bad sex.
Well played, Jessica.
While drinking beer, a la Frankie (the pinnacle of Westview), I made this image. Much like Westview, it cannot be explained, but I present it nonetheless.
Also, does anyone else find it hilarious that Jessica Darling, who desperately wants to make a documentary about her father, John Darling, who was murdered and about whom Les wrote a book…doesn’t own a copy of said book, doesn’t even offer to buy a copy of said book, but is content to “borrow” it and will soon, shuddering, return said book to its owner?
I find it hilarious only because I cannot detect my own heartbeat any longer..
Okayyyy Jesse’s reaction is either showing either she’s realllyyy gone with this whole “I miss my daddy thing”. Or maybe nobody told Jessica that Frankie was an alleged rapist of Lisa (I say alleged cause I know many don’t believe it). But IF he did, where’s her common sense?! I don’t care if she’s missing her dad, there’s a difference between his dad and hers. Her dad didn’t rape anyone, wasn’t an alcoholic, and didn’t act like a jerk.
I mean if Darin knows what Frankie was. It just doesn’t make sense for her to push him to meet his rapist father.
It’s amazing how much time Batiuk wastes each week when he introduces every strip for five days straight with something like “So you want me to offer Breakfast Pizza?” but expects his readers to understand the background context of this little hissy of Darin’s.
Why is Darin so angry? What did Frankie do to deserve his wrath? He irresponsibly teen impregnated Lisa and had to give Darin up for adoption? Why wasn’t Lisa similarly condemned at first then? Because he didn’t try to find Darin until he was 33 years old? He never knew where to find Darin; that’s the whole point of adoption. Is it because Lisa badmouthed Frankie when she met Darin just before she died? Would’ve been nice to have seen that, TB, even though it now would’ve required remembering specifics from strips five and a half years ago. So even if he had done that, which he didn’t, it’s still unreasonable.
And he’s going with further shorthand today. I’ll be willing to bet that there won’t be a whole lot of discussion about why Jessica wants Darin to do this, or why Darin objects to it. She’ll make some weird noises about her father, John Darling, and Darin will cave for no reason at all. And all we’ll be is one step closer to finding Lisa’s hidden diary that has all the answers.
BTW, I love Darin’s little bitch face and his enormous nose, and the totally inappropriate look Jessica gives him, as she hugs him inappropriately.
Darin HAS to meet Frankie, because how else is he going to find out that Frankie is… wait for it… dying, and wants to make amends before he bites the big one?
By the way, as you can now see, the back of that business card IS blank. And the phone number wasn’t on the front. So tell me again how Durgood was able to call the guy…? Such a Beady Eyed Nitpicker. Yes, it is called “writing.”
The last panel makes no sense. I mean it – none. Big Hair’s hug and facial expression seem to say, “Aw, forget about Pops for a few minutes. I need a slice of sausage.” If this were live action, it would be something you’d see in bad amateur community dinner theater.
Jess: “I think you should do this.”
Darin: “But I just got done stating how much I do not want to!”
Jess: *superior smirk* “That’s why.”
Darin: “….what.”
Jess: “Hasn’t Les taught you anything, dear? If an unexpected trial comes along, the thing to do is to passively go along with it, all the while letting the world know how gloriously you are suffering!”
Darin: “…*…by George, you’re right! I shouldn’t flee from this chance to air my dirty laundry and re-live angst! Hoody hoo!”
@Beanie Wanker: If this were live action, it would be something you’d see in bad amateur community dinner theater.
I see you got my flyer for “The Funky Chronicles”. Get your tickets now before they sell out. Oh, and we’re going to need to know if you want the Cancer Chicken or Alcoholic Beef when you make your reservation.
we’re going to need to know if you want the Cancer Chicken or Alcoholic Beef when you make your reservation or what Fred, I mean vegetable, you want as your side.
I too am confused by Durrhead’s hostile reaction to his father. Ok, it makes sense that a child might feel anger towards a father who abandoned him. But we had a plotline a few weeks ago which revealed that COMPLETELY IGNORING A CHILD YOU FATHERED for most of that child’s life is no big deal (not, at least, when Fred Fairgood does it).
It really makes me wonder why Batboy bothered to introduce the character of Kerri in the first place (especially since that bombshell went exactly nowhere). Without that plot twist, we could accept a Durrwood who is pissed that his biological father abandoned him. With it, however, we are forced to grapple with the quirkily inconsistent morality of the Funkyverse–Veggie Fred remains “Fairgood” (gah, that name) despite doing the exact same thing we are meant to despise Frankie for.
Is Durrwood so pissy because Saint Lisa told him about the rape? But wouldn’t that invite complex, mixed feelings, rather than outright hostility? “Damn you, Frankie, for forcing my Sainted Dead Mother’s virtue and…causing me to exist!”
Actually, WE should curse Frankiebeans for causing Dorkwood to exist.