17 thoughts on “Friday, June 7”

  1. “They took her home?”
    No medical attention or police report?
    Minors in a van and 33+years ago.
    Is that the same night Lisa’s bio-dad threw her out?

    Toms ‘ view of the human emotion is sick

  2. 1) You know you could have show us this – comics being a visual medium and all instead of having us the reader watch Ann tell the story. Movies do this when they don’t have the budget to show something, So why, if this is said to be a strip about serious subjects, wasn’t this shown?

  3. Sorry the coments seem to reject my long winded gibberish. But point 2) you never bothered to tell Darwin this story once he found out who is Bio-mom was?????

  4. and 3) and Darwin grew up to become the producer of The Golden Age of Ballooning.

  5. To be fair, I can understand how the Fishsticks have neglected to relate this story to Durwood before now, especially considering how dysfunctional this family is turning out to be. After all, they also neglected to mention that he has a half-sister.

  7. This is beginning to feel just like one of those infamous Act II arcs that drove me away from FW for years at a time. Just totally preposterous, stupid, contrived, hackneyed and nonsensical in every possible way. It’s almost as if he’s actually daring his readers to call him out on the utter ridiculousness of this piece of shit. This arc is so aggressively terrible that it could definitely be used as undeniable proof that the continued existence of FW is some sort of elaborate scam. In fact, I have to seriously question whether TB is even a real person at this point, as there’s no conceivable way a real human brain could possibly think this is a good story, or even a “story” at all.

    And the sickening cloying St. Lisa references, complete with the beatific, pious grins as they reflect on Her…it’s a revolting display, just nauseating. Not to mention that none of it makes any sense, either within the context of the arc or the history of the characters. I’ve always had a special brand of loathing for the Lisa character, everything about her turns my stomach and sets my teeth on edge. Just the way he draws the characters’ faces as they talk (or think) about her fills me with disgust and rage. “And that was when we realized that Darin’s beautiful real bio-mommy was the same poor virginal little snowflake whose innocence those Crankshaft people saved that one time”…(shudder), this is scraping rock bottom, even by “Batom Luvs Lisa” standards. And it’s staggeringly lame too, the guy can’t even do “lurid” right. What a debacle.

  8. Why on this Globally Warming Green Earth is Darin wearing the biggest cake-eating grin in the world at this little revelation?

    “Yay! My birth mom was date-raped, she was given a ride home by bystanders but nothing else, my parents and apparently everyone else in Westview knew about this for years but never told me. GLEEE!”

  9. The snarking on CK has brought Batyuck out under several pseudonyms. He urges the snarkers to use their time and energy to snark instead about meaningful public policy issues. Pathetic!

  10. One sensitive critic of the critics also claims that those who snark on Funky Winkerbean are racist (such as, say, having a morally bankrupt, sleazy partner be African American? Well, sometimes) and hate stroke victims (such as denying a man who can no longer vocalize clearly any of the devices and methods that would allow him to communicate, just so the author can point out how HIGH-larious he sounds?) Hmmmmmm.

  11. I can’t see how anyone with a brain could possibly defend this poorly-written and badly-executed intelligence-killing farce of a “story”. Even if you’re a serious, die-hard FW fan, how can you overlook the blatant disregard he has for his own strip’s history? How can you overlook the completely ridiculous tropes and insane contrivances? How can you not be filled with rage upon seeing those two morons grinning moronically as they relate a stupid, irrelevant story about the attempted assault of a woman they heard about over thirty years ago? Anyone “defending” this piece of garbage is either delusional or a Kings Features employee.

  12. So… they… waited until after the rape to intervene??? Because what, they didn’t want to spoil Frank’s fun?

    Was Lisa struggling at that point because he wanted to do it again?

    Even by Batiuk’s standards, this is batshit crazy.

  13. Why not just have the Fairgoods admit that they immediately worked out a deal whereby they could adopt the results of this attack, minutes after the fact. Such a plot point would be preposterous, ridiculous, inhuman, ghastly and over the top, but at this point it would also be consistent.

  14. Geez, why don’t you just through Kevin Bacon’s name in while your at it, Annie. Six Degrees of Plot Convenience…that’s what connects every character in the Funkyverse.

  15. Hey, they finally let my comment through on the NJ site! Even though I posted that comment on there around midnight and it still wasn’t there as late as 9 AM today even though plenty of other comments were permitted.

  17. So how can Pam and Jeff stop Frankie from making his documentary? Is there no statute of limitations on sexual assault cases in Ohio? In that case, Pam and Jeff could threaten to get Frankie busted by the cops unless he goes away

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