August 2013 – Page 5 – Son of Stuck Funky

Bland Camp

TFH is sailing off to Bora Bora (or did he say Oradell?) this week on the good ship “WinkerHate”, so I’m bravely stepping into the box to pinch-snark, so to speak. So let’s see what fabulous, engrossing and hilarious tale Our Hero has cooked up for us this week…

Uh-oh, that empty-sleeve-flapping-in-the-breeze-like sound in the air can only mean one thing: it’s band camp joke season again. And right on cue, there’s Dinkle, smirking and cackling and waxing nostalgic about how things used to be back before he retired. Many years ago. From his job as band director. I think he was deaf at one time too, although he appears to hear everything just fine now. He just celebrated his 50^th wedding anniversary, you know, in case you just recently started reading the strip or something.

Last year’s band camp arc ended on a cliffhanger as Becky apparently reached the boiling point re: her mother’s incessant meddling. Then everything suddenly stopped so Batom could get Les & Cayla’s wedding in before all the leaves in Westview fell (and it was a close call, let me tell ya). Not that I especially care about “resolving” that arc, I think it’s pretty safe to say that no one else does either. One meddlesome old coot per arc is one too many as it is. But still, it was pretty strange how he just abandoned that storyline cold like that. My guess: he fell asleep, woke up, thought he’d finished it, submitted it, no one noticed/checked/cared and that was that. What, you have a better explanation???

Ring of Shame

The second most surprising thing about today’s strip: Montoni’s has a modern touchscreen point-of-sale system. you’d expect to see an old-time ch-ching! cash register behind the counter.

The real story here is how Rachel “I’m only a blonde on Sundays” O’Conner cleverly finagles a real engagement ring from her dishwasher fiancé. Fashioning a ring out of Wally’s I.O.U. initially seemed sweet and spontaneous. Now she makes it clear to Wally that she intends to wear that damn thing on her finger every day, informing every Montoni’s customer who asks “What’s this?” that Wally didn’t buy her a ring.

Elevate Me

Rather gracious of Rachel, I think, wanting to make sure that Wally’s ex be informed of their engagement. But even though Wally’s been out of Becky’s life for years, he knows how she gets in the run-up to band camp. Maybe what Becky’s visualizing is her meddlesome mom Roberta plummeting headlong off that scissor lift.

Tell Mama

“Wally says he loves you too…What’s that, Mom? Oh. Well, it’s…it’s an I.O.U., actually. But I folded it up and put it on my finger just like a ring! …Hmm? No, silly, we wouldn’t dream of having our wedding in a pizza parlor! We’re getting married in the gazebo!…No, that big white pavilion…in the park!…What? You’re breaking up…oh…Buddy. Buddy. His service dog, Buddy! Mom? What’s wrong? Mom, stop crying. Mom?”

A Special Place

We see from this 2010 strip that there is at least one church somewhere in or around Westview. Maybe it’s reserved solely for funerals, because all weddings in town occur either in a pizza parlor, or people’s front yards, or in the middle of a public park. Note that in panel 3, clever Rachel has apparently folded Wally’s I.O.U. into a ring which she wears on her finger.