Slowly she turns, inch by inch, step by step, until her bullhorn is right in Owen’s scruffy face.
She fingers the switch on the bullhorn’s handle. Owen can almost taste the liniment she spreads on her stump. She takes a breath, and yells into the microphone:
Then…
The sky is ripped open and the rain pours through a gaping wound, pelting the women and children—pelting the women and children—who run—who run—into the arms of Ohio.—almost U2
Son of Stuck Funky 
Just terrible. TB tries to re-capture the old Act I Dinkle magic and fails epically, particularly with that awful, awful dialog. Sorry TomBat, this particular gag doesn’t work in your non-satirical little reality-based world, especially with the one-armed bore as the featured character.
The harder it rains, the funnier it is, right? Right?!
The bit about vaudeville history at the “Niagara Falls” link is more interesting than anything in this strip — funnier, too.
The more I read this strip, the more I think Batiuk was either never in marching band or doesn’t remember anything about it if he does. Yes, sometimes you have to march in rain, and it’s a pretty miserable experience, and cracking jokes is one of the ways to cope with it. But there’s so much more that’s good, bad, and in between about the experience that he doesn’t even touch. What about playing in other kinds of weather? The Tetris-like technique to loading a pit truck? Going on a band trip where one kid come down with appendicitis, the bus’ brakes catch fire, and everyone gets stuck at the state boarder because a blizzard closed the highway down?* Given a wealth of comedy potential in one single subject, Batiuk limits himself to the same two or three tired old gags. It’s like going to an all-you-can-eat buffet and then just getting a bowl of cottage cheese from the salad bar.
*No lie, all that happened on a winter percussion trip my brother was on his sophomore year. Truth is stranger than Westview sometimes.
I was going to spoof on Bob Dyans’ Hard Rain Gonna Fall… but the lyrics really don’t need to be altered much at all to fit Westview:
Oh, what did you see, my one armed one?
And what did you see, my demented ole Dinkle?
I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it
I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it
I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin’
I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin’
I saw a white ladder all covered with water
I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken
I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.
Look up the whole all the verses as Dylan sang ’em.
Yep that’s Batiuks Westview.
If these characters were even slightly likeable, this would be an acceptable (though tepid) joke. But the whole thing is really too stupid to be anything other than…well, stupid. The idea that, not only would the band play in weather so severe that they’re barely silhouettes against the storm, but that people would show up to sit in the stands, unable to see or hear anything…well, that’s not stupid. That’s Westview.
It’s not the NFL! If it rains this bad, high school games are cancelled/rescheduled! And they get orthotics, not safety pins!
Jesus Christ it looks like a biblical deluge out there!! But apparently one practice is monumentally vital to make sure this goddamn band can play and sync movements properly to “The Macarena”.
You know I think Becky’s insane dedication to this band just hides the fact there is something missing from her life. There is something that just doesn’t make her a complete human being. She seems to be searching for something that has left her essence empty. Whatever could it be that this poor soul be seeking f…….Oh, wait a second……that’s right it’s her arm that’s missing!!!!…..well…then shame on you Becky for using these band practices as a literal crutch for your lack of appendage!!!! How many poor kids must suffer to fill that sleeveless void of yours!!!
Will the Scapegoats win the Battle of the Bands? I’m on pins and needles… or at least I was before Lefty took all of the pins.
But… but.. the tickets were free!!
Stupid and pontless and just mailing it in. Which overall is better than his pretentious issue or Dead Lisa is still dead story archs. Not that this is a good strip, it’s just not as awful.
Is this the actual Battle of the Bands or just some tortured nightmare in Becky’s feverish head? It seems impossible that the return of the annual band-soon rains could ever be funny again. Why for example can’t readers be offered a nice sunny Battle of the Bands where Westview’s marching Scapegoats run afoul of the school board by lewdly dancing to some Snoop Dogg tunes that Becky has transcribe for Flutophone? Or give the poor reader the hazing scandal resulting in Becky losing her job. Or the hotshot kid on the drumline (Jarod!) who picks a fight with Big Walnut Tech’s drummers in the middle of the competition. Oh so much wasted opportunity.
TheDiva: Well put, I often wonder why he limits himself to only two gags where the band is concerned…rain or “wow this sure does suck”. The old joke was that Dinkle’s insanity was why the band was forced to endure such torture but now, with Becky in command, that gag makes zero sense. I think he just does it out of habit and/or laziness.
Orbiter’s idea could work great! Imagine if Becky walked in on Jarod smoking in the boy’s room and proceeded to turn him into a band prodigy in a panel by panel recreation of the football storyline from last month. For once the repetitiveness could be used as a positive and TB would show himself to be surprisingly self-aware.
Here’s a funny comic strip about rain. How refreshing!
Yes, you have to reach the people in the stands. The question is: Will the people in the stands reach out for you? Better question: Who are these people who are sitting in the stands in the middle of a monsoon? Must be people related to Batiuk.