Drown in the Water

Today’s strip

Sky cracks open, walls falling to the floor
Just as well to keep it, a guessing game in store
You’re with me now, will be again
All other points in between
And the cruel, cruel mornings
Have turned to days of swim or sink
If living right is easy, what goes wrong
You’re causing it to drown
Didn’t want to turn that way
You’re causing it to drown
Doesn’t make a difference now
You’re causing it to drown
—Son Volt, Drown

Owen: I’d sure like to know how this could get any worse!

The Universe: Request granted. It’s worse. Like you didn’t see that coming.

And the sad thing is, now we’ll never get to experience the epic love story of Owen and Cody. Not because they’ve literally drowned in the rain, but because our favorite auteur hasn’t got the literary or artistic chops.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

13 responses to “Drown in the Water

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Oh, I can think of ways this could be worse, Owen. Many, many ways in fact. Dead people, car crashes, suicide, death, any of the Moores…and that’s just off the top of my head. Moronically plodding around in hurricane conditions for no reason doesn’t even crack the top one hundred, in fact. Get back to me when a band member loses a limb or dies, OK?

    I’m not even going to bother explaining (again) why this is so stupid. It just is. At least he’s trying to be funny, I suppose, which should count for something, I guess. Obviously FW is quite capable of being far, far worse than this, you know? It isn’t much but it is a small consolation, sort of, in that “meh” Batiukian way.

  2. Do you think Owen has his chullo tucked up inside his shako?

  3. Merry Pookster

    Just kind of struck me… but a “Battle of the Bands” is plural.
    So where are the other bands with equally as unreasonably fixated & masochistic band directors.
    There are any?
    Hardly a Battle of the Bands then is it?

  4. O.B. Dan

    Owen: I’d sure like to know how this could get any worse!

    The Universe: Request granted. It’s worse. You will live into the next leap, and spend your life in Funkytown, spending far too many hours in Funktoni’s Pizza, only to die of cancer as a way to introduce Act V, after which you will return from the netherworld in perpetuity, waiting for Batiuk to finally bring the strip to the end that O.B. Dan described at length so long ago.

    Only then we you, and O.B. Dan, rest in peace.

  5. Orbiter

    Only two squares today? Even in prison you get three squares a day.

  6. bayoustu

    Tomorrow, the lines indicating rain will be so thick that we’ll get nothing but 2 panels (3 if we’re lucky- or unlucky, depending on your point of view) of solid black. To Batboy, this will be infinitely amusing. And thus the strip ends…


    Well look on the plus side, Owen, When Act IV arrives and your the band director while your wife wife Alex is molesting boys at Comics Korner, you’ll be the one dishing out misery to the band. Thus continuing Batiuk’s circle of misery.

  8. billytheskink

    Hopefully Owen learned his lesson: don’t tempt the artist. Ask TB how it could get any worse again and you’ll wind up as a stick figure… a one-armed stick figure.

  9. ChaosClockwork

    beckoningchasm – Nice. I imagined ‘O Fortuna’ starting to play just as he shows up.

  10. Did the image of the kids flying away like the nannies from Mary Poppins pop into anyone else’s head?

  11. Since we’re doing appropriate songs…

    When the night shows
    The signals grow on radios
    All the strange things
    They come and go, as early warnings
    Stranded starfish have no place to hide
    Still waiting for the swollen Easter tide
    There’s no point in direction we cannot
    Even choose a side.

    I took the old track
    The hollow shoulder, across the waters
    On the tall cliffs
    They were getting older, sons and daughters
    The jaded underworld was riding high
    Waves of steel hurled metal at the sky
    And as the nail sunk in the cloud, the rain
    Was warm and soaked the crowd.

    Lord, here comes the flood
    We’ll say goodbye to flesh and blood
    If again the seas are silent
    In any still alive
    It’ll be those who gave their island to survive
    Drink up, dreamers, you’re running dry.

    –Peter Gabriel

  12. Jeffcoat Wayne

    How can it get worse? Even the cartoonist tires of drawing you and decides that from now on swishy silhouettes will do. And anyway, you didn’t have much of a personality to begin with, so…

    Second possibility: One day you will be an adult still living in Westview.