We’ve all had fun with Crazy Harry’s “Tarzan” obsession, but while many have pointed out that it isn’t logical for someone like him to be a fan of things that happened long before he was born, I’d like to say this: fandom isn’t logical. There are people today who read Dickens, listen to Bach, and watch Alfred Hitchcock movies. Something within those works resounds in a person, despite the age of the person (or the artifacts).
That said, take a close look at the Starman Jones cover. Note the price–ten cents. Doing a bit of quick research, I see that the Fantastic Four’s first issue, in 1961, had a cover price of ten cents, while Spider-Man’s debut in Amazing Fantasy a year later went for twelve cents. So Cory Winkerbean is a fan of a series that’s over fifty years old. Note what I said in paragraph one, then remember this: we’re talking about Cory Winkerbean. Cory’s interests seem to be limited to “sneering,” “stealing” and “minor villainy.”
To be fair, I suppose it’s possible that Cory’s new-found friend Rocky is the leader here, and Cory is simply desperate to belong, but he seems an unlikely recruit to go down the comic-book path.
And it seems even less likely he’d go down the vintage comic-book path. Last week I posted a link to article that said most old comic books are worthless, but what Carla’s holding is still a collector’s item, something not so much to be casually read as to be traded amongst other aficionados. Is there a thriving comic-book trade in Afghanistan? Aren’t the folks on military bases kind of busy with other stuff? The logical thing here, if Cory is desperate to have comic books, is to purchase one of the many reprinted collections available–it would be cheaper, you’d have complete stories, and you wouldn’t have to worry about damaging a rare original issue.
Heck, even Crazy Harry isn’t crazy enough to hunt down the original works; he’s content with a reprinted collection, and he’s the ultimate obsessive in these matters.
I believe what we’re seeing here is projection, pure and simple. Tom Batiuk loves vintage comic books–and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that he feels the need to make every single character share that love, which doesn’t really make for compelling reading, unless the reader also shares that love. And if that mythical reader exists, why is he reading Funky Winkerbean? Doesn’t he have tons of comic books he can be reading instead?
Also, why does the “Jones” on that cover look like it was pasted on? You know, I have this hilarious image in my head of Tom Batiuk, writing “Starbuck Jones” in the dialogue for Holly, Funky and Carla, only to discover to his horror that in the artwork–drawn a year previously–he had named the comic book series something else. “Starbuck Les,” comes to mind….
Son of Stuck Funky 
The key moment of the Holly/Cory/SJ mega-arc is nearly upon us today as Carla finally at long last begins the process of handing the f*cking thing to Holly. But alas, TomBat ran out of space before he actually had them complete the transaction. I guess he thought things were moving a little too quickly here or something.
Check out the loving tribute to the beloved old-timey comic book that only exists in the Funkyverse. The Batom Comics logo is just fantastic. That aside, nothing about this arc makes the slightest lick of sense. I think it really all boils down to is a way to get various SJ covers in the strip. Too bad he couldn’t think of a way to make that happen without wrapping one of his nonsensical “stories” around it.
Assuming I was a vintage comics lover, and assuming I wanted to read tedious stories about people exchanging beloved issues of said vintage comics, I’d want them to talk about actual comics I remember and love, not some lame Flash Gordon wannabe.
You know..when Cory Winkerbean is inevitably KIA, the soldiers going rifling through his footlocker are going to be really disappointed that instead of an issue of penthouse, they’ll have to masturbate to a 10cent copy of a Flash Gordon knockoff.
All right, Funky bought #1 of STARBUCK JONES at a drugstore when he was in high school–from about 1975 to 1978. Regular comics back then cost 25 cents to 35 cents. But #7 costs only a dime, which would put it not later than 1961 (issue #2 of FANTASTIC FOUR had a 12-cent pricetag). Unless a) the drugstore sold back issues (highly unlikely) or b) #1 miraculously traveled through time to be at the drugstore, this does not make sense! The supidmeter Is rising again. If you’re going try to appeal to comic book fans, TB, you have to remember they are an anal-retentive bunch. Once you have insulted our intelligence.
Sorry, but I thought that most young men in the service are interested in getting laid, not in comic books from their middle school years. Frumpy Holly and Dreary Varla Carla Really don’t know their sons!
But they’ll probably be good friends!
And I hate to say this to you, Epicus Doomis, because you are always so sharp and on point here, but you may be a liittle bit too much embedded in this crap.
GPTA: Me? I admit that I spend more time goofing on FW than the average person does, but is it any more or less troubling than any other online “hobby”? IMO it only begins to become troubling when you’re attending national conventions and dressing up like the characters and/or when you start writing sexually explicit fanfiction pieces about them. But that’s just me, different folks might have different limits.
Frumpy Mom: “But, you know…”
Frumpy Holly: “I know…”
FW reader: “I don’t know! WTH are you talking about?”
Batuik can manage to ‘tell, not show’ in dialog! Amazing.
” It seems like Epicus Doomus and Guest Page Turner Author have become good friends! I hope we do too!”
Cory, being a snotty young punk, could easily have an ironic appreciation for Starbuck Jones after watching the campy 1980 film adaptation.
Thanks Doug…..I was thinking the same thing.
Tom… you don’t even know comic books (which you profess to love so much).
I guess this is a life metaphor ….Tom doesn’t know anything about anything he professes to love.
Something’s been nagging me about this arc and it’s this: Why issue #7? What is the magic of issue #7 that even the Moms have to precisely identify the issue. My theory is that Cory, true to character, doesn’t give a tinker’s cuss about Starbuck Jones comics other than the notion that it may possess some intrinsic value to be exploited in some way. Sell the fucker and split the proceeds. Cory already knows that Poppa Funkenstein is ape-shit crazy over comic books and has made some serious dough selling another Starbuck Jones issue. Dead Skunk Head somehow manages to put food on his family by selling comic books. A casual reference to a comic book by his pal Rocky, a little internet research and shazam. A plan takes shape. Maybe Funkers himself will buy it as an “investment”. But only issue goddam 7 will do. Once they sell it, the plan goes, they’ll have enough money to go over the hill, make their way to Bombay and spend the last of their cash on booze and whores.
This scenario may seem far-fetched, but it’s much more compliant with Cory’s known character that him actually reading the darn thing.
this arc leaves me totaly baffeled – as others have pointed out why #7 ? And why is Cory intrested in this? And why is Rocky? And why – if Rocky was such a big comic book head ins’t this issue in plastic? And why was his mom going to throw it away (in 2013 I might ad) yet have right there. My BRAIN HURTS!
I’m a pretty miserable conversationalist, and I have NEVER engaged in dialogue this awkward. And all of this over a blatant pastiche of the classic Flash Gordon rip-off that was Magnus Robot Fighter?
It’s the old “Mothers have no idea what any of their kids possessions are worth, and would just as soon throw the whole contents of their room in the dumpster” trope. Now hurry up and handover the book so we can get on with our band turkey arc.
IMO it only begins to become troubling when … you start writing sexually explicit fanfiction pieces about them.
Oh dear….
Does anyone else think Rocky’s mom looks like an older Summer?
@Carrie: Yes.