I couldn’t resist. Besides–wouldn’t this actually be a much more interesting development? Les learns something from Starbuck Jones, it ties in with the whole “Starbuck Jones” concept, and we can cut to another cover–this time showing Starbuck’s ladyfriend, Lisandra! You can’t tell me Tom Baituk isn’t reading this right now and kicking himself. Just kicking himself, over and over and over again. You can say, “That’s not happening” but I’m enjoying the mental picture too much to listen to you right now.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Boy oh boy, is Batom getting some serious mileage out of this f*cking “journal” or what? First it pops up just in time to save “the gang” from Frankie’s nefarious reality show scheme, now it re-appears right when Les needs it to save his screenplay. How very convenient…and stupid. So reading a few of her idiotic “my glass is always half-full” platitudes will somehow give Les the creative boost he needs to finish (or start, as the case may be) his brainless screenplay? Why not just have her fly down from magic heaven and write the f*cking thing for him then? It’d be just as plausible.
Does it even need to be mentioned that if Les had read the thing when Cayla first found it instead of simpering away like a giant wuss he might actually have finished the project by now? This year it’s her “journal”, last year it was her series of VHS tapes…what’s the plan for 2014? Lisa cave paintings? Lisa cassette tapes? Lisa ice sculptures? Where does this end…or does it EVER end?
Why not just have her fly down from magic heaven and write the f*cking thing for him then? It’d be just as plausible.
This is supposed to be snark, but I’d just like to remind the viewers at home that something even more ludicrous really did happen in the strip. It involved a wintry eve’s flight at the airport.
You know what I mean.
Lisa cave paintings? Lisa cassette tapes? Lisa ice sculptures?
Lisa kebabs, Lisa gumbo, Lisa ice cream. Lisa skincoats, Lisa hubcaps. Lisa contact lenses, Lisa-based religion…
Howard and Nester: Lisa fingerpaintings, Lisa Polaroids, Lisa floppy disks, Lisa scrimshaw, Lisa clay-mation, Lisa pen & ink drawings, Lisa semaphore, Lisa Morse code, Lisa wax cylinders…so much rich, rich material to be mined.
And let’s not forget the most ludicrous Lisa moment of them all…the New Year’s Eve makeout session. Blech.
I nearly overlooked the silent second panel today. TB uses the silent panels for three reasons: slapstick sight/reaction gag, time-killing and gravitas. Look at the solemnity as Calya hands Les the sacred text. Once again, Les will attempt to “get over” Lisa by immersing himself in her innermost thoughts. That should go well.
I’m just kind of confused here. What’s the connection between “Starbucks Hemlock” and “Lisa’s Story?”
Back in 1980, when I was adapting my new book “From Here to Maternity” into a screenplay for ABC’s Movie of the Week (aired after the Monday Night Football” season was over). (And thanks Howard Cosell for the band aids, you know what that means, Howie!) all it took was a couple a hours at the typewriter, and Boom! Jacklyn Smith was on board with the project! She even cancelled her guest appearance on Fantasy Island to participate.
Oh, I forgot, Howard Cosell is long dead. Sorry Howie!
Ok I fell for it. Actually thought he was looking at Sherlock Hemlock comic book. But this makes it even worse! The journals and videos of Lisa have been laying around the house for years! Why so surprised?
I hate him. With a deep dark all-encompassing passion, I hate him.
Hey, it makes as much sense as Les acting surprised that BSD Lisa’s journal just might-might!-provide insight to her feelings.
Imagine Less’ outrage when he discovers every entry ends with: “PS- Less is an insufferable prick!”
There’s so much douche in this strip that it turned this chilly November night into a Summer’s Eve.
We can but hope that when Les gazes upon the wholly holy writings of Lisa his smug visage will begin to tremble and melt like a Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I’m more upset about Cayla’s ridiculous and inexplicable behavior. No woman on earth would act so stupidly. Unless she were to hand Les that journal, stare him down with her hand on her hip, turn around and walk out the door. That would be proper behavior.
Les needs to read that journal so he can move forward to discover the Dead Wife Scrolls and the Lisetta Stone.
I’ve got an idea. Summer’s read the sacred text, and she’s graduated freshman English. Let her finish the screenplay for you, and she can get college credits for it too!!
Fourth panel: “How dare you defile Saint Lisa’s holy writings with your touch!”
I’d actually like to thank TB for this strip. It’s perfectly set up… just insert your book title of choice for humorous effect.
Starbuck Jones, Could Be A Book Deal Here, Green Eggs and Ham, Screenwriting for Dummies, In The Main: The Definitive Batiuktionary… the possibilities here are not limited by TB’s imagination for once.
@billytheskink You left out the I Chong…
“dear journal, found les wearing my wedding dress again”…excerpts from lisa’s journal via tumblr
“Dear Journal, Funky is really handsome, I hope he never gets fat”
“Dear Journal, they hired a new secretary at the school, Cayla. I don’t trust her. On the other hand, Les’ former student Susan is really sweet”
“Dear Journal, Les doesn’t think I should get a second opinion. I’m sure it will be all right”
Dear Journal: Les told another joke about how clever he was and smirked. I have lost my fear of death and now await its arrival like a bride on her wedding night…
Les looks shocked because he just read, “thank god I had another one night stand with Frankie and never pushed out any of Les’s spawn”. Do it TB, do it.
“The answers are in Lisa’s diary…” ..the opening mantra of the new doomsday death cult that Les will soon create!!
Wait a second….. Westview already IS a Lisa doomsday death cult !!!!
Sorry for the redundancy, folks.
Why does his face look so fat in the second panel? Does he have a Dread Disease of some kind?
Les: “Lisa’s journal? Well, I suppose it couldn’t hurt to give this a whirl…”
Lisa’s Journal: “Monday. Woke up. Les was munching corn flakes in the kitchen again. And every time his spoon hit the bowl, it’d clink in that way he knows I hate. That no good spoon clinker drives me nuts! Man, I wish I hadn’t wasted my life getting married to this sad-sack. But what can I say? I’ve always had rotten taste in men. Oh, well. Time to go. King Spoon Clinker is clinking and clanking again, asking me in his reedy little voice if I’d mind squeezing him up some orange juice. MAKE IT YOURSELF, YOUR MAJESTY!”
Cayla: “So, helpful, right?”
Les: “…*…um….”